I didn't actually really do anything I had meant to this weekend. I didn't study, clean up very much, take care of some things for K, or finish traffic school online. I did sleep, be very itchy because my stupid bandaid rash isn't gone yet, and spend excessive time with K which included going to the movies and watching Grey's Anatomy. It wasn't a bad weekend by any means, but it wasn't as productive as I meant it to be.
I got a price list in the mail from the college I was thinking of going to next semester and I simply do not know how to do this. There's so many things that I will have to fight through to go to school next semester and it makes my stomach hurt. I will owe a tremendous amount of money by the time I graduate. I guess that's just true for everyone, but it's rotten. I don't think there's any other way to really do it. I'm doing scholarship searches and there are some feasible options there, but everything I have found is a few hundred dollars. I don't mean it's not worth it, because it really is, but it's still kind of a drop in a giant bucket.
I have to keep working full-time to be able to live on my own. I'm taking two classes right now that aren't especially involved and it's really hard. I can't keep taking two classes at a time because it will become even more ridiculously expensive and irritating that way. But, how am I going to do with four classes while working at least 40 hours a week? I think the degree is worth it because although I like my current job, it's not going to be something I can happily do in the longterm. There's not enough personal fullfilment in being a secretary and it's not enough money to support my hope of having kids and them knowing what the beach is like. More than the money though, I want a job that I am excited to have, not just a job that is tolerable and has moments of enjoyment in it. A degree doesn't guarantee that, but it opens up a lot more possibilities at least.
I'm going to figure out how to make it all happen, but I'm just not sure exactly how today. So I guess I'll just go to work, study a little, and clean my apartment for reals when I get home because for whatever reason it really makes me feel better to walk into a clean living room.