Wednesday, June 27, 2012

goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes

Today, as I was leaving my regular baby-sitting gig, S started to throw a fit. He didn't get a nap today and had just found a basketball that I had to take away from him so we could get out the door. I picked him up and told him we had to go and just held him as he struggled against me and cried. The mom of the kids I watched said, "You are the most patient mother I have ever seen."

That is one of my most favorite compliments. I try really hard. And there are days when I don't have the most patience because instead of just one fit, like today, there are ten.

I really try to treat S like a whole person and not some little toy version of me and my husband. He was born with a distinct personality and I try to respect that because that's the thing I want most from others. I'm still in charge. But it doesn't do much to yell at someone who is already crying that they need to stop crying. Sometimes he needs to cry. But he can cry while we're still getting ready to go.

And at the end of the day when I kiss his velvet cheeks as many times as he'll let me and he blows kisses to me as I walk out of his room, he's adorable enough that my patience and my love gets restocked and ready for the next day.

Humpday Happiness!

Some things making me happy these days...

...Twitter! Follow me at @meljamc parents have a pool and let me use it all the time! sister will be here on SATURDAY! able to just take Samson with me while I make some cash is fantastic
...feeling the little flutters of Baby C-2 moving around
...watching Pixar movies with my son-his delight is my extra delight in watching movies husband's quick sense of humor and ability to keep a straight face
...sparkling water with lime

Friday, June 15, 2012

it's been awhile

Every time I see the phrase, "It's been awhile," I always immediately think of that song by Staind and the video starts playing in my mind. Every time. Then I think about the time of my life that the song was super popular and it's a trippy little moment. 2008, maybe? Ugh. What an awkward time in my life. Most of the main players are no longer in the picture and I think it's better that way. Which, in 2008, I would have insisted would NEVER be the case.


It's been awhile. I'm pregnant with baby number two while baby number one is a toddler and I basically think that is an awful idea. I love baby number one to pieces and I am thrilled to be expecting number two and am excited for our family, but toddlers are exhausting by themselves without adding the whole growing another human inside thing. But, I just hit thirteen weeks and it's like a switch got flipped. I have more energy and don't feel so crazy. I'm still a little nauseous but nothing like just a few weeks ago.

I've been doing a lot of work for a not-for-profit and it's making me itch to write again, for an audience, on a regular basis. When I was pregnant with S, I wished there was a book that was real about pregnancy and had some stuff about high-risk pregnancies too and decided I just needed to write one myself. I haven't done it. I'd like to now, so I can write another book about being pregnant again and how weird it is to feel like you should know everything that's going to happen but you kind of don't at the same time. I need to just start writing.

The thing that I've been thinking about though is that there are two stories that can be told from the same exact time period of my life. One is all the crazy stuff that can happen that is considered normal but no one talks about (like that finding maternity pants with pockets is harder than you'd think) and also talking my high-risk pregnancy experience. The second is a completely autobiographical take that includes some very negative things that family members said, having to move in with my parents because I lost my job and we were very newly married and had no savings, and how I yelled at one lab tech and she refused to come back to draw my blood after that. That one is probably the more captivating thing to write but has the potential for some serious fall-out.

So, we'll see!