tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58223685437944641002024-03-05T04:23:44.507-06:00melissa in the rawMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.comBlogger509125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-72807982008303494492015-02-08T20:41:00.002-06:002015-02-08T20:41:59.099-06:00handy laundry tip!Here is a great article on getting gasoline out of clothes! <br />
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<a href="http://rockingreensoap.com/how-to-get-gasoline-out-of-clothes/">http://rockingreensoap.com/how-to-get-gasoline-out-of-clothes/</a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-80877608577689644022014-12-03T22:00:00.000-06:002014-12-03T22:00:00.296-06:00the one where it's almost the end of my first quarter!Just a few weeks left in the quarter! I think I have five exams and one paper left. A couple of little assignments here and there was well, but it's winding down. It felt like it took me forever to get my head really in the game this quarter. The last quarter of the LVN program had so many stressful exams at the end that I think I checked out mentally a bit once they were done and I had passed everything I needed to. Studying for and taking the NCLEX in the middle of this quarter didn't help either. And, it was a weird start. Same building, literally the same classrooms I was in last quarter, but a completely different program. New to me teachers, new vibe, a blue tag on my id instead of the glaring red one, just lots of new things.<br />
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During the LVN program, I didn't have to study too much. I had to for Med/Surg 2 because those exams were all application and it threw me at first, but other than that, there wasn't anything I really stressed out over. I did most of the reading and a lot of concept maps, but no weekend study sessions or anything like that. When I was at graduation, I thought to myself that I would really like to graduate the ADN program with honors. Then I had the first round of exams and realized it was fine to simply pass everything. I connected with a study group for anatomy and physiology and promptly brought my grades in theory AND lab right up and I am so thankful for that. I don't feel like a main member of this group, but I am so grateful they've let me pop in and they've helped me so much. I think we are all taking A&P 2 theory and lab together and have designated study times for next quarter already. I hope this continuous all the way until I graduate. There's so much more ahead of us!<br />
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I am not good at straight sciences. It doesn't interest me, it's not information that clicks in my head right away. I've known that for a long time. I like concepts and theories. And if you can explain the sodium potassium pump to me in the context of a disease process or a medication classification, I would probably get it. But just straight up muscle contractions are so foggy to me. It probably sounds dumb, with me being a nurse and all. But Med/Surg, where we learn the disease processes and what to do to fix things, that is my comfy spot in nursing school. I get it. I understand it. My brain works that way. Knowing the anatomy and physiology certainly helps. I'm looking at it like learning how to do long division by hand before using a calculator or using it as a part of a process to figure something out. It helps you know if you're on the right track.<br />
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But I am not a fan of microscopes. I don't care. It blows my mind that people figured out all of this stuff about the human body and named it all and know the chemical reactions and how some things are actually electric. When it comes down to it though, I want to know the person that all of this amazingness is happening in. <br />
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Things are good! Gotta hold on and get through the next couple of weeks and above 74 in everything and then I get to move on. And have a ginormous Netflix binge. I have a lot of deep cleaning to do and meals to make for the freezer and the like. But there will be many things watched on Netflix as well. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-11073338155491505882014-11-29T19:38:00.001-06:002014-11-29T19:38:19.640-06:00the quick one about the boysI think that my kids are super funny. S is talking and says the funniest stuff and A is just starting to talk but is still somehow funny. Today we had kind of a Thanksgiving detox day of watching movies and just being at home. After we watched Monsters University, A practiced his different kinds of roars all day. And after we watched Frozen, S chased A around the house yelling "Come here, act of true love, you need a kiss!"<br />
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I don't know how to make this kind of stuff up. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-23632215350497225492014-11-26T22:29:00.000-06:002014-11-26T22:29:09.958-06:00the one with some venting kind of I'm feeling pretty sassy this week. I went to the doctor on Monday because I had a sore throat for about five days but the kicker was a low grade fever. Every time I take my temperature, it is 97.4, so when I felt a little warm and took my temp on Sunday and it was 99.5, it was startling. And it didn't go down, even with tylenol. And it was 99 at the doctor's office, which also never happens. Anyway, it's probably not strep, but I have antibiotics and I got a steroid shot in the office. I have had steroid shots before. They are glorious. Or were glorious. It always has taken a couple of hours to kick in and then cut way down on whatever inflammation I'm experiencing and helps me get over the illness quicker. This week, it just hit me hard. I think it made my blood sugar spike pretty high on Monday night and Tuesday I just hated everyone and everything and felt miserable. Of course I couldn't hole up in bed, I had two exams. Awesomely, in both classes my overall grades are lower now, but I'm still doing fine in school so I'm not too stressed about it. I went home inbetween classes to sleep, but despite the fact there are literally two playgrounds in my apartment complex, the hip place to run around while yelling at the top of your child lungs is right outside my window. So I sat in my car and texted. Ranted.<br />
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I have felt like I have to justify and explain my life choices, and I think I'm done with it. I love nursing school. It kicks my ass, but in the best way. I spent a year earning a certificate and then sat for the state board exams and passed the mother effing NCLEX in 85 questions, which is the minimum amount of questions. My license, that I wholeheartedly earned, gives me some pretty good earning power. I'm now working on my ADN and will sit for the state board exam for my RN around March 2016 and start working soon after. That will at least triple my family's current income and I get to be starting a career that I'll love.<br />
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The other thing recently that I've kind of shifted to is focusing on the definition of "my family" and my husband and our two boys. All of my extended family is of course still important, but when I'm making decisions for my family and what's best, it's the four of us. We come first. When we do celebrations, we'll make plans that suit us best and then involve others as we can. I feel like it sounds harsher than it is, but we have done a lot of catering to a lot of people around us that haven't ever extended the same courtesy to us. I'm done for awhile. I don't have the headspace. I'm not willing to have the head space for all of it, I guess. A's second birthday is going to be the four of us going out to do a particular activity. We'll go from there!<br />
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Thanksgiving, K is working and me and the boys are going to my parents' house. Friday, we are having Thanksgiving Dinner with my parents and sister and her family and I am stoked. I am so appreciative that my parents want us all to be together to celebrate but it's okay if it doesn't happen on the official holiday day. With K working retail and me going into nursing, it's possible that celebrating on holidays is going to be rare. We decided to make the Fourth of July and Halloween priorities to have off for our kids and roll with the punches on everything else.<br />
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I read an old blog of mine recently that kind of detailed the demise of a particular friendship. Thinking about this guy (who I didn't date) and how things ended up makes me kind of evaluate where I'm at now with various friends. At least now when I look at friendships that have changed or kind of dissipated, I can still see there was good there at some point. I'm glad for that much at least.<br />
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Can we talk about mom shaming too? I don't have time for that shit. If the kids are safe and loved, stay out of it. You do you. Let that other mama make decisions for her family the best way she knows how. You can't judge because you'll never be privy to all of the details. If you are a mama, it helps so much to surround yourself with other parents. You can see how they approach things and glean things you like and maybe see mistakes you can avoid for yourself. But keep your snotty opinions to yourself. Motherhood is hard enough without your "friends" chiming in or talking shit about you.<br />
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I think I'm good for the night! Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-71480348012365042982014-09-28T21:25:00.003-05:002014-09-28T21:25:56.883-05:00the one where i daydream about vacationsAt some point or another hopefully sooner rather than later, I'll be working and we will be able to save up real actual money for things like buying a house and going on family vacations. Buying a house will likely come first but it's more fun to day dream about vacations, so that's what I like to do. I have said for awhile that I'm becoming a nurse not because I care about people or want to do good but because I want to take my kids to Disneyworld. But I recently found out that it is $100 a day per person. So that is not my hallmark vacation anymore. The more I thought about it, the more I think my kids will kind of hate me until they are adults and then they might appreciate our family vacations.<br />
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Here is my vision: we will load up the car, have a cooler, and we will drive. We will go to as many of the states that we can get to. We'll start just here in Texas. We can go to the beach or go to a town in West Texas that intentionally cuts down on light pollution so you can read by the moonlight when it's a full moon. We'll go to New Mexico to see the hot air balloons. And the four of us can each stand in a different state. We'll go to see the redwoods in Northern California so big that we can drive our car right through the middle of one. The Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore, the presidential libraries, our state capital, the nation's capital, museums, and national landmarks. That's what I want.<br />
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And at some point, Disneyworld. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-62358200411067766152014-09-26T22:08:00.000-05:002014-09-26T22:08:16.006-05:00the one about being in school and blahI'm in this strange stage of life where I feel like I'm where I need to be with school and headed toward a career that I'm going to love but still feeling in limbo because I'm not working yet. It seems like most of my friends are in actual careers and kind of more like real adults. I'm married and I have two kids, but it doesn't seem very grown up to be in school. Still. Again. Whatever. But, things just take time sometimes. The first plan was to get into nursing school, complete the LVN program and then begin the RN program as soon as possible. I managed to pull off doing that immediately. At orientation for the Winter quarter on Thursday, I met some fellow RN students and when I was asked when I finished the LVN program and I said Monday, it startled people. In that good kickass way. I think there are four of us who were able to have the GPA to be admitted into this quarter of the RN program. That's not a dig on anyone who didn't make it. Some people chose to start in January and others had the GPA and everything but couldn't get it all coordinated with the various offices you have to go through to get started. I'm still proud though. I accomplished something good. I'm registered to take the state exam for my LVN license. I have some credits taken care of and am hopeful to knock three months off of my program.<br />
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I think that right now I feel like I don't have anything to show for my efforts. No one walks around taking manual blood pressures or giving injections or handling someone's body fluids. It would be awkward to carry my stethoscope around. I feel a little unsettled. I will be participating in my graduation ceremony but I feel a little silly inviting people to it (even though I already have talked to a few people) because it isn't a degree. I'm working on the first degree starting next week. And I have a long way to go to be a nurse practitioner. After this program, I'll likely do everything else online. But maybe I can have a party after the RN. <br />
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I would like to be in a place where I am happy and not feeling like I'm competing or have to justify where my life is with everyone else. That is super dumb because I am actually happy. I haven't felt this much like my genuine self in a long time. I feel smart again. I love my husband and I adore our children. Money is tight but not unmanageable. I think somehow it doesn't feel like it's enough compared to the people around me that were able to figure this stuff out just such a long time before I did. But how do you ever win when you're in a competition like that anyway? Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-44045626452260980962014-09-25T04:51:00.001-05:002014-09-25T04:51:20.053-05:00the one about doing whatever i want<i>You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you write warmly about them, the should've behaved better. Anne Lammott</i><br />
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I stumbled across that quote on Pinterest one day. I censor myself so much in my online presence in order to not rock the boat too much or be too offensive or share too much. Sometimes it is really irritating. I have so many stories that I think if I shared could help other people know they're not alone in their frustrations or difficult situations. For awhile, I felt like I was a pretty good writer and sometimes I would like to use that gift to be entertaining or engaging. But I don't want to hurt people. And I don't want to hurt myself. I don't want to hurt my family.<br />
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The longer I am married, the more "my family" means me, my husband, and our children. It's the four of us that drives me to succeed in school so I can be proud of contributing to our finances. It's the four of us I think about when daydreaming about the future. Will we stay in Texas? Where will we go on our first vacation? Should we keep our crazy last name or change it to something else a little less challenging? Will the boys play sports or be writers or artists or all of that plus more? I adore the rest of my family but I don't really think about what my parents or my sister and her family are going to think about decisions that me and K make. And as far as my in-laws go, well, that quote pretty much sums up how I feel about that whole situation.<br />
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S is four and recently on a kick where he talks about how I can do whatever I want. I keep trying to explain that it's only kind of true. I'm an adult so it seems like I can do whatever I want, but there are consequences. My actions impact those around me and there are laws that need to be respected and all of those kinds of things. He doesn't understand any of it. I know that sometimes he thinks it's hard to be a kid. He has to go to bed even when it's still light outside (I hate daylight savings by the way) and doesn't get to watch all the tv he wants to and it really bothers him that the four of us don't just share one room. I think it is hard to be a kid. I think it's hard to be an adult, too. When I make decisions I'm trying to predict how things I do now are going to play out.<br />
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But sometimes, I am just tired of being nice and thinking about how my actions are going to impact those around me. I don't want to let people into my lane while I'm driving because it never seems like people let me in so why should I? And I don't want to be kind to assholes because they obviously don't care either way; they wouldn't act like that if they did. I don't want to keep all the birthday and anniversary dates and reminders on my calendar because a lot of those people don't do that for me so why should I for them? It's just sometimes that it all feels like a huge uphill battle.<br />
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I don't have any neat conclusion on this. But I know I want to teach my boys to be kind because the world really doesn't have enough kindness. I just need to strike a good balance between being honest and being kind. They are all my stories and I do think that if some people wanted me to think more highly of them then they should have treated me better. But maybe I don't need to share all of that with the world at large. Maybe sometimes silence is kind and still honest. <br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-58038254436878287022014-06-13T21:35:00.001-05:002014-06-13T21:35:49.272-05:00the one where I mention some happy thingsHere's some stuff making me happy...<div><br></div><div>...Netflix. Specifically Orange Is the New Black. Freaking wonderful television. Morello! OMG, Morello. I want to give her a hug and some pretty strong medications. </div><div>...quarter 3 of nursing school is two exams from being over! I got a B in a Maternal Child which is great except for the fact that's the area I actually want to work in so I wish it was an A. </div><div>...giving up soda. It sucks. And it sucks that it sucks. But I'm doing it!</div><div>...sweet, sweet caffeine. I'm giving up soda but not coffee, espresso, or iced tea. Maybe another time. </div><div>...working out. 45 minutes on the elliptical and then 10-15 minutes of weight lifting. I've lost two pounds. One gazillion pounds minus two to go!</div><div>...my clinical instructor from this quarter really poured into me. I feel so confident in what I'm doing. I have gobs more to learn and starting my first job will be terrifying, but nursing is where I'm supposed to be. </div><div>...thinking it's okay to not have to be besties with my inlaws. </div><div>...air conditioning. It makes me happy to not be sweaty all the time.</div><div>...kisses from my boys. </div><div><br></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-62860136900008860232014-04-04T04:28:00.001-05:002014-04-04T04:28:28.363-05:00the one with the very brief encounterToday was the first day of quarter 3 of my LVN program and my first day of clinical. I LOVE my site. I'm very proud to be there and I'd love to work there after I graduate. <div><br></div><div>On our orientation tour, we walked past a brand new mama. Her baby son was born on Saturday and she was there with her parents. My teacher talked with her for a bit and commented that baby boy was just content to be asleep. As we continued on, I quickly told her, "Congratulations! It's okay to be tired. It gets better." </div><div><br></div><div>She smiled with a little bit of relief and her mom smiled at me too. And this is why I want to be a nurse. I can offer a brief connection that makes someone feel human again and not just a disease process or a baby dispenser or whatever else everyone is focused on. That's the best part. </div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-50978359419591537512014-02-07T20:58:00.001-06:002014-02-07T20:58:13.964-06:00the one about my clinicalYou guys. I gave a big whole shot today! I get to do more and more nursey stuff every week and I'm just definitely in the right place. <br><div><br></div><div><br></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-68123244652416413322014-02-05T20:47:00.001-06:002014-02-05T20:47:24.385-06:00the one where it's just short and sweetIt's 845 pm and both boys are asleep. It's a little piece of heaven. My paperwork for clinical is done and notecards are made for my pharm exam next week. I got out a little early so I ran home and showered before I picked the boys up from daycare. Beans are in the crockpot for tomorrow and I'll make cornbread to go with them. It's a little piece of heaven. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-31273893600468821762014-02-03T21:55:00.001-06:002014-02-03T21:55:17.711-06:00the one about the patientI had a patient I was to do a head to toe assessment on and patient care notes. I spoke with her for a few minutes and noted, alert and orientated times four. Person, place, time, and purpose. <div><br></div><div>Then later I talked with her longer. The more we chatted, the more grandiose her claims became. My favorite was that her daughter is busy running England with her husband the king. I crossed out the x4 and replaced it with a x2. My clinical instructor thought that was hilarious. </div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-79334432115839189762014-02-03T21:42:00.001-06:002014-02-03T21:42:43.470-06:00the one where I just ughOnce I was feeling really overwhelmed in this whole motherhood thing so I called a seasoned mama. I wanted to meet with her and tell her how I was not always the kind and patient mom I wanted to be and was floundering with two kids. I thought I could get an encouraging word or a funny story from when her kids were as young as mine are. We met but she was late and was distracted and just said the words, "you'll be fine" after I admitted that I felt like a failure. And that was that. I'm still floundering, probably as all moms do from time to time. I adore my children and my husband. I also love nursing school and that I get to be a nurse when I'm done. There isn't enough time to do perfectly well with both so I'm constantly wishing for more study time or more patience and kindness with my guys. <div><br></div><div>And there's tonight. I hurt my back on Friday and today was the first day I didn't literally need painkillers to move. I took care of a bunch of little things (child care paperwork, new clothes for one child, a new car seat for another child, laundry, blah, blah, blah) but got to the end of the day feeling like nothing is done. No studying. No cooking ahead. No just sitting and playing with the boys. S is three years old and stubborn and smart and I yelled at him because he wouldn't go to the bathroom before bed. He cried and wanted to wait for Daddy to put him to bed. He's asleep now, as his A, and now I'm the one crying. </div><div><br></div><div>I want to be doing something, maybe just one thing, that I do really well and feel confident in too. I have more good moments than bad at mothering and being a nursing student. I think. If I could get a handle on losing weight or organizing the house, that might help. I need help and I'm embarassed to ask because it seems like everything is such a huge mess that I should get it together a little before asking someone to join me. </div><div><br></div><div>So, you know, bright and cheery. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-2387851950167536372013-09-25T22:00:00.001-05:002013-09-25T22:00:16.607-05:00The one that's super mushyA is 9 months old and just so big but at night I nurse him and he intentionally rolls out of my arms and snuggles into my sheets and falls asleep. And I sit in the dark looking at him and he's just my heart laying there. <div><br></div><div>And his brother? He's snuggled into bed with a hue pillow, a blanket, and about twenty stuffed animals. So rough and tumble all day long and often a struggle to get into bed, but once he's there heis all soft and cuddly again. </div><div><br></div><div>My heart has to get bigger every day to try to contain the love for these two. </div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-33208795753711999802013-09-21T01:13:00.001-05:002013-09-21T01:13:35.149-05:00The one of a bunch of randomI have drafts of newsletters for A but need to add pictures so they'll be around sometime or another. <div><br></div><div>I think everything is set to start nursing school in Oct! A couple of things to tie up still but it's coming together. The biggie is daycare for the boys but I have some things in the works and am just keeping my fingers crossed. </div><div><br></div><div>There's been a lot of judgy posts on Facebook lately and I mostly wonder what it's like to know everything with such certainty. Or mostly that you're right and everyone is wrong. I think about issues carefully and look at different viewpoints and can still see the other side after I've lands someplace. It's how I'm wired. Others aren't wired that way but it still confounds me. </div><div><br></div><div>I can't believe A is 9 months old and I haven't bought any formula. He's had bottles but they're so few and far between that I've just used samples. That wasn't really my plan! But it's worked out well. I don't know if I'll be able to breast feed him at night and on the weekends after school starts. At a year I would be getting him to just milk anyway though so I'm not worried or feeling guilty. Just trying to be flexible. </div><div><br></div><div>I miss writing. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-46626810206704260602013-09-13T23:02:00.000-05:002013-09-13T23:02:31.302-05:00the one about the gymK and I recently got gym memberships and I've been going fairly often. I have significant weight loss goals that I hope to make a large dent in by the time my birthday rolls around again next year, but realistically won't be completely done by then. The time is going to go by and I figure at least I've started. It's been about six weeks and I'm about 19 pounds down. The child care at the gym will only take A for an hour, which was kind of initially disappointing. But only having an hour is probably why I've been able to be so consistent. I do cardio for at least 35 minutes and then most of the time lift weights for a little bit too. It's kind of discouraging to be able to see better muscle definition but still have so much weight to lose, but if I keep at it, it'll get better.<br />
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I feel better. I feel stronger and somehow leaner even though my workout pants from the days of yore are just now starting to fit decently. I feel somewhat accomplished in getting the boys out of the house and being able to wrangle both of them back into the car after working out. It's getting easier to do cardio and it's not scary to bump up the time a little bit and go longer.<br />
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Although I've wanted to lose weight for awhile, I've still basically felt okay about myself. I love my hair and how blue my eyes are. And I don't have a lot of clothes, but what I have is good enough for now at least. After I gave birth to S and had gone through that entire high risk pregnancy and emergency c-section and breast-feeding struggle and had this gorgeous baby to show for all of it, I stopped worrying about what my thighs looked like in my swim suit. My husband thinks I'm beautiful and I just let myself believe it when he says it or that he really means it when he grabs my butt as I walk by. I want to be healthier and active alongside my sons and be able to show them by example how to be strong and have goals and reach them. <br />
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I'm getting there. When I met with a personal trainer at the gym, he said that working out is really only 20% of it and what you eat and drink is 80%. I'm working on making better food choices. I think starting school will really help because I'll need to pack stuff to eat five days a week. When I'm at home all day with the boys and running around the house or whatever, I end up just grabbing things to eat and not making the best choices all of the time because I just realized I'm STARVING and need something to eat immediately. I've stopped buying some things and tried to make healthy things easy to grab from the fridge. I'm okay with it going slowly because I know if I drop Dr. Pepper and everything fried and chocolate all at once, I won't be able to stick with it. But if I go slowly and add in more veggies and replace Dr. Pepper with iced tea and still hang on to chocolate, I'll be able to keep on keeping on.<br />
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So here's to being able to buy really cute clothes in a year! And really truly keep up with my two little boys. Because really. They are already so freaking active! Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-73960464594372609692013-07-27T23:50:00.001-05:002013-07-27T23:50:23.756-05:00the one where I'm thinking at the end of a long dayFirst time trying a post on my phone, so we'll see how this goes...<div><br></div><div>I went to a funeral this morning. I had only briefly met the deceased but the way he lived his life shaped many friends of mine and those friends have greatly impacted me and my family. I hugged my friend Stacy this morning and she looked at her father-in-law's casket and said, "I can't believe this is my life right now." And that's why I went. Because I can't believe this is her life right now either. No one my age really thinks their parents are going anywhere but none of us have a guarantee of tomorrow. This was a horrid car accident and unfair and these are good people who are grieving. </div><div><br></div><div>Because K has an unreliable work schedule, I do tons of stuff by myself. Me and the boys handle things and I'm glad for the help when I can go grocery shopping with K but am not upset that's it's usually me by myself. But sometimes I really need him. It catches me off guard because I've been so fiercely independent my entire life and I'm string and capable. This morning though, I ached for him to be with me. I felt a little melodramatic but still just really didn't want to be walking in by myself. </div><div><br></div><div>When I was in the hospital after having given birth to A and my blood pressure was high and my doctor told me it would be at least one more day but likely more and K was at home with S, I desperately wanted him with me. There wasn't anything he could have done. It's probable his snoring would have interrupted my sleep. Sometimes when he's physically near, I don't feel as much of a burden. I can release some of the stress, fear, sadness, uncertainty, etc because I know he's got my back. </div><div><br></div><div>And I'm thankful that means he will hold down the fort while I have a girl's night out and be startled when I come home at 830 because he assumed it would be at least 10. The baby cried and cried when he woke up and I wasn't there and K couldn't find the chicken nuggets S wanted for dinner and bed time was a mess but he didn't tell me any of it until well after both boys were asleep. I am so grateful for good friends, laughter, margaritas, serious chats, and relaxing. And I am ridiculously thankful that after that I get to come home to my guys. </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCgBITpOF2NSdlnniEGYd4RihD3cyrOxmEautryRvq1pCoyfu06QTNKf_yvpmrTD0TNmXPUGpbL9E-QX-WqlTgOD3ctz8bGrQtqwRTysST13d6SwCGB-EpnIT5CZdY65Cz2Lhtcr8kSdk/s640/blogger-image-213806418.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCgBITpOF2NSdlnniEGYd4RihD3cyrOxmEautryRvq1pCoyfu06QTNKf_yvpmrTD0TNmXPUGpbL9E-QX-WqlTgOD3ctz8bGrQtqwRTysST13d6SwCGB-EpnIT5CZdY65Cz2Lhtcr8kSdk/s640/blogger-image-213806418.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-37300877706952478582013-07-23T10:20:00.001-05:002013-07-23T10:20:39.854-05:00newsletter month 7Dear Asher,<br />
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Happy seven months!<br />
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When Samson was six months old, we got a family picture. We decided to do the same thing with you. Between various viruses and whatnot and Daddy's work schedule, we almost made it. We got family pictures the day you were officially seven months old! I'm so glad to have an official portrait of us as a family of four. It feels like we've been the four of us for ages and ages even though it's really just been under a year.<br />
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You are sitting up on your own and quite content to sit on the floor with toys nearby. I love this! You are still a very snuggly little guy but it is so nice to let you sit and play. Your brother is sometimes very into playing with you and sometimes very annoyed that you are interested in his toys. I suspect this is how things will be for quite some time to come. You, however, simply adore him at all times. If he comes up with it, you think it's a good idea.<br />
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We checked you into Kid City for the first time at church! You didn't object and by the time we picked you up, all the volunteers in your room had fallen in love with you. Asher, your smile is just amazing. You are such a happy little baby and you have a way of making everyone around you a little happier, even if just for a few minutes. I hope this never changes. And I hope it's never a burden to you. Let your joyful heart shine through without regard to how others feel about it.<br />
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Despite your default happiness, you are a very expressive little guy. You hate the flash on the camera and we've managed to accidentally capture hysterical grumpiness from you. I think you're going to have a lot to say and expressions to match all of it!<br />
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You got to go swimming in Grandma and Papa's pool for the first time this past month, too! I covered you in sunscreen, insisted you wear a hat, put you in one of their life preserver suits, and you got to sit in a floaty whale and you completely loved it all. You splashed heartily, you loved zooming from person to person, and then you laid your little head back on the headrest of that whale and chilled like it was your job. I think if it had been a little quieter, you would have happily taken a nap right there, floating in the pool. I also started putting Samson in the tub first and getting his hair washed, and then putting you in the tub with him. You both love this. You will start flapping your arms as I lower you down into the water and splash and splash until I take you out again. <br />
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You are always on the move and interested in everything going on around you. You won't stay still, even for a diaper change or for a quick face wipe. And lately, I've even had to tuck your arms in and rock you to sleep because even when you can barely keep your eyes open, you don't want to miss what's going on around you. I feel a little like that sometimes with you. Every time I pick you up, you seem a little bit bigger, a little bit more confident in holding your own. I'm so excited to see you grow up and get to talk to you and hear what you have to say. But these moments with your skin like butter and you cuddling into my shoulder and you wanting me to hold you close and sing to you, they can't go slowly enough for me to properly memorize them all. After I give you a bath and then feed you and you smell like clean baby with milky breath, it's just magic. You're big for your age, you're determined, you're curious, and you are already personable. But, remember to just be your age. Just be where you are sometimes. Don't get so far ahead of yourself that you miss the right here and right now. It'll never be just like this again. <br /><br />
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Seven months! I'm so excited to see what this month brings. I love you, sunshine.<br />
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Love,<br />
MamaMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-88606697948858129502013-06-22T23:05:00.000-05:002013-06-22T23:05:36.129-05:00the one where i'm lonelyI read this really lovely piece about being in the valley. About being a mama that reads blogs and news articles and Facebook and Twitter and longs to participate in conversations but feeling woefully unqualified to speak up. That's where I am right now. I see pictures of friends of mine hanging out together and seeing people going on vacations and reading news stories that I care about and want to mention but not having the time to investigate more and have a well informed opinion so I just stay quiet. I'm jealous. I am on the outside looking in.<br />
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And for good reason, these two little boys that I've been entrusted with need me to pay more attention to them than to most everything else right now. It's a season I'm in. I won't always be wiping multiple butts at home all day and repeating myself five thousand times or carrying one child while the other tries to climb up my legs. My house won't always be so messy I'm terribly embarrassed to even ask for help in tackling projects. I will miss little feet running down the hallway making as much noise as they can possibly make and little arms raised in the air waiting to be picked up.<br />
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I know all of this.<br />
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But it's still hard to be in this spot sometimes. I miss sleep. I miss having lengthy conversations with my husband. I miss having something to talk about that doesn't have to do with my children. My biggest interaction with people outside of my house is usually church and we haven't been in a month. First the house flooded and we were overwhelmed with trying to quickly clean it up before mold could really set in. And then everyone (except K) has been sick.<br />
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So many people have such bigger problems than this. I recently read that all our loneliness is only an illusion. I think it's true, but only if you speak up so you can hear that someone else has been in your shoes. Or is in your shoes. Or just wants you to put your shoes on so you can go for a walk with them for a minute and not be sitting in the same old lonely spot. <br />
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I'll be studying for an entrance exam to nursing school and applying for scholarships and financial aid soon. That will all be very good. And at some point, the pinkeye and the colds and the coughing and the scarlet fever all have to go away, right? Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-41853539970711009082013-06-22T21:01:00.002-05:002013-06-22T21:01:42.013-05:00newsletter month 6, just a smidge late!Dear Asher,<br />
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Six months old today and making feel like you are hardly a little baby any more! That's silly, of course, but at the same time your first year is just flying by. You are almost 21 pounds of almost pure happiness and I hope it's a very long time before you stop letting me kiss your cheeks bunches and bunches of times every day.<br />
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You are a little bit mischievous, son! You are constantly grabbing my hair and taking it out of my ponytail or whatever hastily fashioned up do I've got and smiling the whole time. You sweetly smile as you grab my glasses right off my face and wave them around wildly. I think these are things most babies do, but it gives you a particular glint to your eye that makes me suspect this is an aspect of your personality we are only just beginning to see.<br />
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This past month, we started trying out some solids. Technically solids, at least. Rice cereal, peas, green beans, and squash have been eaten so far and you are fairly interested in it all. Really, trying out some baby food has made you much more interested in what I'm eating. You will pull my hands to you so whatever is in my hand can go in your mouth. Not food just yet since we're making sure to look out for allergies and reactions, but I would imagine it won't be long before most of my plate ends up in front of you! <br />
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Another first has been you being sick. Somehow a crazy virus invaded our house. It started with Samson having pink eye and a cold. Then I got the cold and you got pink eye. I took you to the doctor because you had a really bad diaper rash and we also discovered an ear infection! You shared the pink eye with me and I shared the cough I had with you. And that cough settled deep into your little chest. We went back to the doctor and you had a hearty amount of wheezing and got a breathing treatment in the office to see how you would tolerate it. Funnily enough, you are the first baby your doctor has seen that didn't scream and cry during the nebulizer treatment! You smiled away and looked around and were quite content to sit in my lap breathing in the mist. We took home a nebulizer and hope that it was a one time use kind of thing and we can put it all back in the box and up in one of the closets. Time will tell on that. About the third treatment, you weren't so happy about it anymore. And then a couple after that, you realized it really was helping and you helped me hold your mask on. Maybe as you get older, you'll get Daddy's immune system. He still hasn't been sick despite the three of us battling germs mightily!<br />
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So, sweet baby, it's been an eventful month. Inbetween the rain and thunder, the illnesses, and the doctor visits, there have been plenty of kisses and giggling. You don't stay still very long for anyone. I lay you down for a diaper change and you immediately flip over. Everything is going by so fast, I just want it to all slow down. I want to make sure to show you to enjoy where you are and not focus too much on what's coming up or how you wish things were. It took me at least thirty years to get there and I hope it doesn't take you quite as long. I know you want to play with Samson and do everything he's doing. You will, sweet baby. You two will have all kinds of adventures together and likely get in trouble together too. In the meantime, let me keep cuddling you and making you laugh with silly noises and funny faces. Let me show you brand new foods like apples and sweet potatoes and chicken so later on we can cook pad thai and carne guisada and mashed potatoes together. Let Daddy hold you on his lap and marvel at how fair and soft as butter your skin is. Later he'll show you how to fish and you'll go camping together. There is so much to come! But right now, you are six whole months old. You're my Asher baby. That won't ever really change, but I won't say it out loud as much as I do now.<br />
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Love, Mama<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-78727709660129958632013-05-15T23:47:00.001-05:002013-05-15T23:47:12.061-05:00the one where i mention a quick thingI got home at 9:45 pm and didn't get S in bed until 10:15. It took another half hour to get A fed and settled. I got a quick shower and I'm about to get in bed at about 11:45 pm. I am really very truly tired. A didn't do well with being with my mom rather than me. But, it was still worth it to have dinner with a group of mama friends who are amazing women who encourage me and make me feel normal. I haven't seen them in a very long time! Hopefully our next get together isn't too far away! Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-2507384677772425582013-05-11T22:56:00.001-05:002013-05-11T22:56:25.782-05:00the one where i take it way back yoI've had various blogs for a very long time. I used to write lengthy posts on a near daily basis and I was so angsty and definitely an over-sharer. It's weird because now, I have basically zero time to write and I'm much more mature in my need to tell everyone everything running through my head and the stories I have to share are so very much more interesting. I really do think if I wrote a fictionalized version of various time periods and situations from my life in the past six or so years, it could be a best seller. So tonight since both my boys are asleep and my guy isn't home from work yet, since I've showered, since I've looked at my messy living room and decided I just can't deal with it tonight, I'm going to ramble out some thoughts until I get interrupted. Just like I used to, once upon a time. <br />
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It's Mother's Day tomorrow. I'm so grateful to have a mom that I get to celebrate with. The older I get and the more people I meet, it seems the rarer it becomes for people my age to have moms they get to celebrate things with for a huge variety of reasons. My mom and I have not always gotten along and still misunderstand each other sometimes, but we love each other and I am so glad I get to share my journey as a mom with her. K asked me what I wanted and I said I just really want to sleep in. Or take a long nap. And I really mean it. He actually has to work so because I have a policy of not catering to crazy on my Mother's Day, me and the boys are going to my parents house where we will eat ridiculously good food and laugh and I will leave with two over tired boys. <br />
<br />
Incidently, I hate that spending time on Facebook and Twitter has made me have to carefully re-read my sentences to make sure I actually used the right to/too/two and whatever else. I need to get back into reading well written books more than I read anything else.<br />
<br />
K and I got to go to this celebration of the Mayor of San Antonio's mother on Friday night. She really is an incredible lady and deserving of such a celebration. But the reason we got to go is because there was a mural unveiling in her honor that will be at a restaurant downtown (Pico De Gallo) and the artist is actually K's uncle. It was a building dedication for part of the new San Antonio Texas A&M campus too and there were a lot of important people there. I got a new dress and I got K a new shirt and tie and we took time and care getting ready and it was our first real date since A was born four months ago and it was so lovely! It was an art show where I actually knew the artist (he asked me how the boys were doing which proves that somehow I think), I got to shake hands with a congressman as we entered, there was really delicious food (I couldn't have picked a better spread, honestly), there was alcohol, and I was with my husband. Before we even left the house, I decided I was going to have an excellent night. I wasn't going to worry about what I looked like because I was excited about my dress and my husband told me I was gorgeous and I decided to just believe him. I decided to not worry about things said or unsaid by any of my in-laws. I decided that my parents could handle it if A literally cried the entire time he was at their house. And I decided that I deserved a few hours to just enjoy K again, just the two of us. So when we walked into the building and I saw Joaquin Castro, I walked right up to him, shook his hand, and said, "Nice to see you, Congressman." It was such a great night! I am such a nerd at heart and something I truly enjoy is hearing a good speech, especially live. Julian Castro can give an excellent speech, and I was right there in the room. It was during his speech, but technically the mayor and a former speaker at the Democratic National Convention thanked me for all the hard work I do as a mom. I'm going to go ahead and take that and keep it in my pocket.<br />
<br />
Especially because last night, after I fed my hungry hungry baby for the third time (as he adamantly refused to take a bottle) and finally fell asleep, my three year old woke up crying so hard it took at least half an hour for me to understand what he wanted and then about another half an hour to get him calm and back in bed and quiet. And then it took another hour to get my baby back to sleep because he was so happy everyone was awake that he just wanted to play. I love being a mom. It is hard work, but it's good work. But three years in, one of the absolute hardest things and something I have not improved at much is being startled awake and having to immediately take care of someone and also have grace and patience in that moment. <br />
<br />
I am so very tired. I really severely miss sleeping. It's getting better. I think A will calm down again in a little bit and sleep in bigger chunks at night again. I'm just so very tired. I'm blessed and I love my family fiercely. Being a mom of a little and an itty bitty is no joke. A good night's sleep changes your world. I'll get to experience that again. Soon, I hope. When people ask if we're going to have another baby because we have two boys and maybe we'd like to try to have a girl, I just think about doing this again and I want to cry. I don't think I can sign up for it again. I love my two boys and it doesn't bother me in the least that I don't have a daughter. S farted tonight and immediately said, "Don't worry, Mommy, my butt is just making noises again." and I laughed heartily and was grateful there will probably always be fart discussions and jokes in my house. I think I was made to be a mom of two boys. These two boys. Also, hand on a Bible, I don't think I can handle going through year three more than twice. S is a freaking tornado.<br />
<br />
I painted my nails for the thing on Friday and having purple nails makes everything more fun. Changing diapers is more glamorous with purple nails. Making dinner is more interesting with purple nails. Typing is more fun with purple nails. There's a really good coupon for nail polish right now so I might have to go back and pick up a few more colors and take some time every once in awhile to paint my nails. I think I also need to take some time and either get a really good short hair cut that's easy to style or set up some lessons with someone on how to do my hair up and cute. I always do the same thing. I put my hair in a ponytail and then smush it up against my head and bobby pin the crap out of it. It's messy and curly and I get a bunch of compliments but it's really simple and unelegant and uninspired. I'm glad I don't have to worry about teaching S and A how to do their hair for special occassions. I suspect that kind of talk will mostly center around making sure they shower on a regular basis. There was an episode of Parenthood last season where the dad told his pre-teen son to make sure to wash his pits, his butt, and his balls every day. That seems simple enough to remember and pass on.<br />
<br />
And on that note, I'm going to see if we have any beer in the fridge. I don't know if I'm going to drink any, but I like to think about it sometimes. I'm so glad I've been able to breastfeed A and it's been going like gangbusters, but I think I've just got about another month in me. I'd like to feel like my whole body belongs to me again. Between the pregnancy and the breastfeeding, it's been a long time. I also miss drinking sometimes. For awhile, K and I would get in bed with a beer and share it as we talked about our days. I miss that. I think I just miss that whole scenario though. The opportunity to talk for awhile in bed without worrying about waking anyone up or getting enough sleep myself. We'll get back there.<br />
<br />
So there you have it, a hearty ramble, old school Melissa style. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-60245814166686089802013-04-13T21:53:00.002-05:002013-04-13T21:53:40.381-05:00newsletter: month fourDear Asher,<br />
<br />
You are my Sunshine Bear. You have a
particular smile that is so big and wide that it just seems like
sunshine is going to come pouring out of your mouth at any moment! You
have a lot of little smiles too, but that sunshine one is killer. Daddy
and I were talking the other day about how we might be in trouble if you
find out how fantastic it is. As a teenager, I hope you don't ever
think it's going to get you out of facing consequences with us!<br />
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<br />
<br />
Four
months old and just about to go into size 9-12 month clothes. You have
so many rolls and crevices that I actually talked to a few people about
the best way to keep your skin from getting irritated! I'm still
exclusively breast feeding you and I know it's not just me, but I can't
help but look at you with all your chubby cuteness and how much you've
grown since you were born and feel strangely proud that I've had such a
hand in supporting it! I will try not to take credit for things you do,
but I'm confident I will always look at you with a little awe that you
came from me and Daddy.<br />
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<br />
<br />
You
are a bit impatient with the whole part where you're a baby and not
mobile just yet. You see your brother and your cousins running (or
crawling) around and I can tell you're just DYING to get on the floor
and keep up with everyone! You are strong and a little stubborn and very
determined. It is not going to surprise me in the least to see you
crawling soon. But for now, sweet baby, let me hold you close. There is
so much time for you to run and tumble and scrape knees and jump off of
too high pieces of furniture. FYI, I will always kiss you too many times
on those luscious cheeks of yours. Always, even if I have to make you
bend down so I can reach your face. <br />
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<br />
We have had a bit of a heavy month with job upheaval and decision making
that will impact the four of us for quite awhile. One thing that I was a
little surprised by was how solidly I think of us as a family of four.
I'm sure it's cliche or a little silly to say that I can't believe how
much love flows in our house. In the midst of uncertainty about various
things little babies never have to even think about, much less worry,
our little unit of four is solid. Your brother is completely crazy about
you, your dad and I are more in love now than ever before, and you are
just so thoroughly loved. My goals for you and Samson are for you to
each be God seekers who are healthy and productive members of society. I
hope happiness falls in there too. But even more than that, may you
always feel this much love in your life. The way you smile at each of us
when we walk back into your vision line is amazing and it's not a smile
you share with the world at large.<br />
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<br />
You
are so happy and such a blessing. God really honored our name choice
for you, Asher. I love you so much my heart has to grow a little each
day to try to contain it all.<br />
<br />
Happy four months!<br />
Love, Mama Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-67652911775163034482013-03-28T18:45:00.000-05:002013-03-28T18:45:10.422-05:00the one that's just some of this and thatJust some of the random crap going on in my mind...<br />
<br />
<br />
...I fought super hard to breastfeed S and was miserable while doing it because I never had a good supply. I had to supplement with formula from the get go and finally just switched to all formula when he was a little over four months old. My supply has been super great with A and outside of the first day and a half of his life, haven't had to give him any formula. But the spit up is never ending. I've cut out dairy, caffeine, and leafy greens to see no improvement in the spit up. I had to take my itty bitty for an ultrasound to determine if he needed surgery (which he thankfully doesn't). I have called and texted my cousin who is a relatively new (and completely awesome) lactation consultant and strange hours to ask for advice. I have rebuffed several people telling me to give up. And today, a little past three months in, I really started considering opening up some formula for him. He seemed so unhappy earlier today. I don't know what is best for him. I am thankful we got through the bulk of the flu season unscathed and I think breast feeding was a big help. My goal was just six months anyway because I just kind of want my body back to myself. June seems forever away at the moment. It is so much spit up... But he's happy and he's gaining weight and he has wet and poopy diapers so there's no medical reason to quit. I am thankful that my husband told me to make the decision I needed to make for me and for A and he would support it 100%. It's kind of dumb that it's such a thought process for me. It's deciding which way to feed A, not whether or not he's going to eat anymore. <br />
<br />
...A has THE greatest smile. It is huge and it seems like sunshine is just going to pour out of his mouth. And he doesn't share that one with EVERYONE. Most people, yes. But I can tell he saves it for people he knows sometimes.<br />
<br />
...The older I get, the quieter I find myself online regarding things like the Defense of Marriage Act. Not because I do not have a strong and what I think is a well thought out opinion, but because I'm not interested in vomiting up my thoughts anymore. I'd rather have a face to face conversation with someone so they know that I really am open to being friends even if we disagree about something and that I'm not just an opinionated asshole.<br />
<br />
...I can't believe how much I love Netflix. We got a chunk of unexpected money last fall and put some in savings, went to Costco and stocked up our cabinets, and then splurged on two blu-ray players with wifi. Best splurge in awhile! I have watched a ridiculous amount of tv while feeding A late at night but I am so glad to be able to get rid of cable and still have some tv entertainment.<br />
<br />
...It's been three years and I'm solidly comfortable in my role as a wife and with having changed my name. I don't feel awkward with referring to myself as either anymore. I don't think it actually took three years, but I just noticed it recently. I wish things were different with my inlaws but I still have hope we can be closer some day. Something about having the second baby made K very comfortable with my parents and calling them or talking to them without feeling like he has to talk to me first. I love that!<br />
<br />
...I really like having two boys. My oldest is so funny! I love it when he cracks other people up too. I feel more validated in thinking he's awesome sauce that way. They adore each other and I'm glad for them to grow up together. I just hope I can do right by them as I raise them. <br />
<br />
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822368543794464100.post-61728740953938870302013-03-15T21:19:00.004-05:002013-03-15T21:19:49.634-05:00newsletter: month 3Dear Asher,<br />
<br />
Three months and I feel like we are really getting to know each other. It's tricky how this whole motherhood thing works. I carried you for nine months and felt like I did a lot to actually take care of you before you joined us on the outside. But, I still had introduce myself to you when you were born. At first, it's all about eating and sleeping. Now you're more alert and interested in what's going on around you and I know you know me, Daddy, and Samson. There are a few other people in our lives that you also know and always have huge smiles for too. I'm so glad to get to see better and better pieces of who you really are!<br />
<br />
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<br />
Your name means happy and blessed and we 100% got that right for you. You smile with your whole body and often. You have an open mouth grin that is infectious and completely adorable. You are exclusively breastfed and have been spitting up A LOT. One of the questions that I've been asked several times is if you are in any apparent discomfort. That's the thing. You spit up so much that I have to change your clothes because they are just completely wet and then you grin at me. <br />
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That's not to say you don't cry. Sometimes I just have to hold you and talk softly in your ear while you cry because I'm not sure how to fix the problem. I know when you're tired at the end of the day, you need me to take you to the back of our house where it's dark and calm so you can finish winding down. I know that even a five minute bath with water I meant to be warmer will thoroughly soothe you. I know you like me to hold you close and jostle you a little when you're upset. I know you don't cry to just cry. There's some sort of an issue making you uncomfortable and I do my best to work fast and fix it for you.<br />
<br />
You are my second born which means you'll get your fair share of hand me downs from your older brother. I'm making sure to get clothes that are new to you as well but some of the clothes I had for Samson are so freaking cute that I'm dressing you in them too. But you are going through them much faster than he did! The two of you have very different body types. We've already been given clothes for you that are based on your brother's interests and I want to do my best to always treat the two of you as complete individuals. Hopefully you'll grow up with feeling any pressure to like the things he does.<br />
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I am happy and blessed for having you in my life, Asher. I've officially known you for three months now and I'll never be the same person I was before you were born. I love you very much!<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Mama<br />
<br />
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846109992258887035noreply@blogger.com0