Tonight I was talking to my good friend T and she mentioned how important it is to keep romance alive in your marriage. A little bit after that my battery died and because I was nowhere near a charger but still had stuff to do before going home, I thought about that in my self-imposed silence. I think that my definition of romance has pretty much stayed the same, but the ways in which I will accept it being expressed has changed drastically over the years.
When I was a teenager, I longed for a boyfriend at Valentine's Day because I wanted to candy and stuffed animals. Now I think it's romantic when my husband makes the bed in the morning. It's a much broader spectrum of things and actions that I consider to be romantic. The crux of the issue for me is thoughtfulness. Sometimes you can express someone is on your mind by buying them something and sometimes you can meet a practical need to express that same feeling. It depends on the situation and the person, but both work for me.
I completely adore my husband. It's not so much that I think he's perfect as it is that I just love him with my whole being and appreciate that we are better together than we are on our own. We make a great team and I'm glad I get to go through life with him. Lately especially I have found a great sense of comfort in just being in the same spot with him. It's not that I absolutely can't handle life without having my husband at my side, it's that it's so much easier when he's physically present. My core relaxes.
It's strange in some ways because I was raised to be a strong capable woman who stands on her own two feet at all times. I was given all the tools to make this possible and it wasn't presented as a ridiculous expectation but rather an easier way to go through life. I've fought many battles mostly on my own and never really had a problem living alone. But now that I'm married? I'm so grateful to have someone to curl up with at the end of the day. Especially someone who knows when I need a back rub without me having to ask and either sees how he can take some of the burden of my day as his own or asks how to.
Just a few weeks after we got married, he went with me to a doctor's appointment. I had some problems with the office at the last appointment and the office manager asked to speak with us before my actual appointment. During the conversation, a lot of things were solved or made better and it's been a good experience in that office since then. I will always remember that little conversation though because Ki said "Look, you can't treat my wife this way." That's when I started to realize what I think is the very best part about being married: partnership. I'm on a team now and sometimes I take care of him and sometimes he takes care of me and we're always taking care of each other. I'm a very lucky woman.