Friday, October 26, 2012

the one where i am just really pregnant and ready but not ready

32 weeks pregnant. 7 weeks to go.

I'm glad because I've definitely reached the point of this pregnancy where everything exhausts me but I still wake up ridiculously early for no apparent reason but am unable to go back to sleep. I was looking through my journal from when I was pregnant with S and that happened with him too. It was easier with him though because I wasn't working and didn't have anything else to do so I'd just nap whenever I wanted to and all the hours of sleep somehow added up to be enough. This pregnancy has been MUCH smoother, for which I am super grateful. But my hands and feet are still swollen by the end of the day and I've been wearing the same four shirts for ages. I really don't like not wearing my wedding ring! For as simple as it is, it's my favorite piece of jewelry I've ever owned because it matches K's and I like that we both so rarely take them off.

But, the baby's room is nowhere near ready. The house isn't in the type of condition I'd like for it to be to bring home a new baby and have people want to come over to see us. We have a vague idea of how to take care of S while I'm in the hospital but haven't entirely set that up yet.

When I was pregnant with S, I battled depression pretty heartily and panicked about a lot of things. My doctor told me to take a deep breath and understand that to bring a baby home from the hospital, all I really needed was a car seat, a place for him to sleep when we got home, a few changes of clothes, and diapers and wipes. We have that for this baby, I'm not depressed like I was before, and I know more of what to expect. But I would still like to have the room actually set up and the floors mopped and a hearty stash of shampoo, conditioner, lotion, toilet paper, etc for the grown-ups in the house.

This weekend I should be able to get the futon out of the baby's room and into the front of the house, the crib put back together, a spot in my room cleared out for the bassinet, and maybe half the closet in the baby's room cleared out. But any portion of it being done is going to put my mind a little bit more at ease.


Swizzlestick said...

I really wish I was there to help you out and get that room all set up. I'm good at getting rid of stuff (when it isn't mine) and organizing. It's a timely activity, but after it feels SOOOO good to have everything in place.

You'll get there. Just keep doing one thing at a time. Lists help me. I will literally break it down into fine detail. I.E. 1. Put shoes away. 2. Put clothes away. 3. Put cd's away... etc, etc. It's nice being able to cross things off the list because you feel a sense of accomplishment. So rather than focusing on "clearing out the room" think of one thing that you can take out and do it. Then move on to the next. Handle one item, one thing at a time. Just a thought. Like I said, that's what helps me. But if it doesn't help you, that's fine too. lol.

Melissa said...

Thank you! Part of the problem is definitely that it's my house and mess. If it was someone else's house that looked exactly like mine, I could totally jump in and whip it into shape in hardly any time. But I keep getting stuck feeling guilty! I really want to sort out the baby clothes and set them up in some bins but then I start thinking about all the clean clothes in the garage waiting to be folded.

Then, S was up ridiculously late last night. K didn't get home until after 1 and S was STILL UP. So we all slept in today and the futon isn't getting moved today. I decided that I can clean up my room/closet and move the bassinet in there since that's the more immediate need. And maybe we can do the futon tomorrow or later this week.

I'm feeling better. But I have this urgency about doing things and not enough energy to get them done and no one around me shares my urgency! I need to get things done, but I also need to CALM DOWN. Heh.