Wednesday, December 16, 2009

my snoring husband

Four years ago this month, I moved to San Antonio. Sometimes I still wonder if that was the best thing to do, but at the time with the information I had it was. I have no idea how my life would be different if I had stayed in Riverside for even just one more semester. I'm pretty sure that there wouldn't be a snoring Ki in the next room right now and that's a good enough reason to have moved.

After Christmas that year that I arrived in San Antonio with all of my earthly possessions, I called a few Starbucks to see about transferring and starting to work. I was getting bored and I was ready to explore San Antonio a bit and meet people who I wasn't related to. After a few calls I ended up with an interview that scared the crap out of me. The store manager asked so many questions that I felt like I shouldn't even be working at Starbucks anymore. Then he called later that day and asked if I could take a shift the next day. I sure could! He tossed me keys and gave me a temporary alarm code and I figured my job situation was taken care of at least.

When I was initially thinking about working, I decided to not get involved with anyone in any kind of personal way. My last store was a big drama filled mess and I wanted to avoid being in that kind of situation again. This resolve lasted until I clocked in and met everyone because I was so excited to be around people that were relatively my age that it was maybe a little sad to them. Maybe not since I did get invited to join in on drinks after work pretty quickly, but still.

I remember I met Ki during my first shift but we didn't work together for very long that day. I was trying to keep everyone's names straight and I had his down because it's so unusual. We were both making cold drinks and scooping ice when he asked me if anyone had given me a hard time or asked questions about being from California. I told him I was all prepared for someone to ask if I surfed everywhere I went or whatever. He asked what I had decided to say and I told him how I'd respond with "No, actually. Are you a real cowboy though? Because I've always wanted to meet one!" He laughed and that was awesome because he's got this deep distinct laugh. I didn't know that I had just connected with my husband, but I did know I wanted to get to know this guy better.

Maybe about a month later, he came in on his day off and told me he had thought of something to tell me the day before but didn't have my number. He was wondering if he could get it so that wouldn't happen again. Honest to goodness, I've never been the girl to get picked up or really flirted with so I thought it was funny but still didn't see us as a couple anytime soon. But he had a group of people from the store and otherwise that he hung out with a lot and I was always invited by someone to join them. Between those times and working midshifts together, we realized we had quite a bit in common. It was a lot of stuff in common but in the best way, like we both love going to the movies but we have slightly different tastes. The same thing with music. There's enough overlap to make it fun but enough different that we always have something to talk about.

In March, we started spending time together just the two of us. We went to the movies and I really didn't know if it was a date or not but I was looking forward to it. We had worked together that day and I changed in the bathroom. He had also brought a change of clothes so that was a good sign... We paid for ourselves but he let me pick the movie. I was pretty much decided and then he said if I wanted to pick a crappy movie we could make out the whole time and that would be fine with him. We just saw a movie though and sat and talked for so long after the movie ended that it actually started again while we were still in the theater. We left and met up with the usual crowd for a drink or two before calling it a night.

We started talking on the phone a lot and maybe the next week or week after that decided to hang out again just one on one. We were both short on money and I asked him if it was okay if we went down town and just walked around. I figured since he grew up here he could show me things I didn't know about yet and I asked him if that was too cheesy. He actually really liked the idea so we set it up. When we initially met up, I asked him if he had plans or if he needed to be home at a specific time. He said the only plan he had was to kiss me before we said goodbye but he didn't need to be home at any particular time. I have a sweet smooth talker. I had such a good time that afternoon! Even when we had to walk for an extra hour because we couldn't remember exactly how to get back where we had parked. We stopped and had dinner on the way back to his place, and true to his word, he kissed me in the parking lot before I went home.

At the beginning of May, we sat in the parking lot of the bar we always went to and had our "define the relationship" or DTR talk. He told me he wanted to make sure we were on the same page and he wanted to know how I felt about him because he knew how he felt about me and other things that made my heart stop beating for a moment because I was crazy about him and suddenly terrified he was done with me. I said since he brought it up, he should go first. He told me he liked me and had a good time with me and wanted to keep his options open and see how things went. Since he was holding my hand during this entire speech, I knew we actually were on the same page. I told him I'd keep my options open too and he wasn't really okay with that. I asked him if there was anyone else he was interested in or talking to and he said no and it was the same for me so I suggested we just be exclusive.

We weren't supposed to be dating though because we worked together and I was a shift supervisor and he was a barista. We just kept it quiet and I don't think everyone knew for at least the first few months. I think because of that, our store manager didn't really have a problem with it. I eventually got another job and we tried to pretend that we had just started dating but no one believed us. It didn't really matter to us though, we were just happy together.

It hasn't been a picture perfect romance by any means. We almost broke up two different times during the first year we were dating. Those two situations are things we worked very hard to get through together and I'm glad we did. No one would have blamed us if we had just broken up. But here we are, married for three months on Friday and coming up on the four year anniversaries of meeting, getting to know each other, and dating.

We've lived together for about a year and a half or something close to that kind of. We were seriously talking about getting married October 2010. When I found out I was pregnant, I was nervous about telling him but not because I thought he'd leave or anything. Just because it really wasn't in the current set of plans and I didn't know how we could take it on and be good at it. He reassured me we'd be fine without me even having to voice my fears within five minutes of me telling him we were having a baby. I know most girls want a big to do proposal with a pretty ring and everything, but I like our story. Curled up together, him rubbing my back as he said he really wanted the three of us to have the same last name from the very beginning and September would be a good month to get married so it would be a separate event from finding out about the baby. We've made mistakes and tried to make them right as we learn from them in an effort to not repeat them later on down the road. And I like us as a team. It's such a fantastic feeling and fact to have him as my family.

I wish I already had a college degree. But I don't exactly regret moving to San Antonio four years ago. I would have missed out on the love of my life and I can't help but think everything happens for a reason. I think God can make your life choices have meaning even if it just takes awhile to get there. Someone once told me that praying to find out where God wants you to be is a waste of time because He doesn't really care. He just wants you to live your life as best you can for Him regardless of where you are. I'm not saying that's what I've done, but I see how God has met me where I'm at to do something miraculous.

I love my snoring husband very much and wouldn't trade him or our experiences for anything.

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