For the past month or so, I've been meeting my parents at church and then we've gone to get something to eat afterwards. We go to the early service which I kind of like because it's a capella music and the parking lot is not a mess yet. It's a ginourmous church. I wasn't sure if I'd really like it for a long term kind of deal but I knew if I was going to start going to church again I needed to be able to meet someone there in order for me to actually get there. I have really enjoyed going though and think I'll just keep attending this particular church. God has met me in that place and brought some lessons straight to me and my life. I like feeling like I can hear God talking again.
Today, I went to leave and I was surprised by the fog that engulfed the apartment parking lot. It was misty and kind of magical but maybe not something everyone would feel comfortable driving in. I went ahead and left anyway, figuring that by the time I got gas, I would know if I was going to be comfortable driving to the church a few freeway exits away. I found something kind of startling. When I was looking ahead as far as I could normally see, things were pretty hazy. But I could see far enough to feel comfortable driving and it was like the fog dissipated as I drove. It was still foggy overall, but it seemed to clear up around my truck as I kept driving.
It feels like that's how my whole life is right now. If I try to look ahead to see as far as I can see, I can't see very far and it's a little unnerving. But I can see far enough to keep plodding along and as I take those steps the details all fill in and it's pretty okay.
God drives me crazy sometimes.