...

I just got a new computer, thanks to my very generous parents. They upgraded and cleaned out some closets and made me and K a very nice deal. We had already started socking money away into a new computer fund so we're halfway there and because it's my parents, we already have all the new to us gear.

I get really excited about having new gadgets and technology. And I'm really excited about the new computer because I feel like I enter into the realm of Internet sharing that everyone else has been a part of for years now. YouTube. Skype. I'm just a happy girl.

...

Him: I need some boxes so I can wrap your Christmas presents. Do you think they have them here?

Me: Yes, the next aisle over.

Him: Hmmm.... I'm not sure which ones to get.

Me: Why don't you tell me what you got and I'll help you get the right size of box?

Him: You're ridiculous.

Me: Just trying to help.

Him: Oh, these lingerie boxes will probably work. But I'm not going to put lingeire in them.

Me; Your loss.

newsletter: month 9

Dear Samson,

I just laid you down in your crib with my fingers crossed that you'll stay asleep until at least 7 am. First you were asleep on my chest for about an hour and a half because every time I moved, your little eyes would pop open and you'd cry a little bit until I got you calmed back down and asleep. I am certain that some people would criticize the fact that I don't have you cry it out in your crib very often. You're not on a strict schedule and I don't worry very much about things like that. Sometimes when I can't get you to stay asleep in your crib I wonder if I should change things. But then I start to think about how incredibly quickly the past nine months have gone by and I just try to soak everything I can up. Right now, you will cuddle with me and sleep all over me. Right now, I am completely hysterical because I make silly faces and sounds and startle you. Right now, I can kiss you all over your sweet little face without much complaining on your end. I suspect that although I will always want to kiss you all over your sweet little face, it won't really be much longer before you revolt. So, for right now, I'm trying to savor all the times you want just me to hold you until you're relaxed enough to sleep.

Something that is great about being a new parent is getting to experience so many things for the first time again in a way. Daddy and I are so excited to have your first Christmas with you! It's going to be a lot of fun because we think you are just old enough to get the hang of unwrapping paper off of boxes and we know you're going to love the toys we got you. We got to go buy stockings for our whole little family so they'd be ready for Santa to fill on Christmas Eve. Getting ornaments out makes me so excited to see what ornaments we'll be buying for you over the years to mark accomplishments and interests. It's just all so exciting!

You are a little crawling machine who enjoys finding things that no one thought were accessible to play with. You crawl up on all fours unless you want to go really fast and that's when you drop down to an army crawl and swiftly take off, usually down the hallway at our house. You are also pulling yourself up on everything and anything you can and taking a few careful and guided steps along furniture. Sometimes you'll be in the middle of the room and it looks like you're going to just stand up without the aid of anything at all. I kind of think you can, but am glad that you always just drop back down and crawl over to something that has caught your eye. You are only nine months old. There is plenty of time for walking and running later!

I love you like crazy, little man. You are truly a fun little kid and I'm so lucky to be your mama. Here's to month 10 and I suspect the two additional little teeth in that cute mouth of yours!

Love, Mama

seven quick takes

1. My little guy, who is not yet eight months old, is pulling himself up to stand where ever and whenever he can. Last night, in fact, I went to check on him in his crib because he was crying and he was standing in the corner of his crib holding on to the railing crying. The mattress is getting lowered tonight, folks. I knew that I needed to when the other day I went in to get him in the morning and he was sitting up with his hands on the rail. His learning curve startles me quite a bit. He's so deliberate with his actions and movements. It's completely fascinating to watch. P.S. He's now wearing size 18 month clothes.

2. I completely love reconnecting with people on Facebook. It makes me so happy to catch up with someone I haven't talked to in years! It's kind of tricky sometimes now though because my married name is very different than my maiden name. I quickly realized that if I kept my married name as my middle name and listed it, people would just not even try to say my married name. So I'm just Melissa Calo-oy everywhere and gently correct people when they say it wrong, or know it's me when someone is standing up saying "Uh...Melissa?" rather than Mrs. Calo-oy. But I make sure that my profile picture is me or at least as me in it so if someone happens to be looking for me, they can kind of see it's ME.

3. The losing weight thing is not going so great these days. It's not so much a plateau as it is a seeming inability to give up Dr. Pepper and not walking or exercising as much as I had been just a short time ago. I'm slowly starting back up again with walking at least once a day and taking S out so we can both get some fresh air and vitamin D. And I'm not giving up. I'm just irritated with myself. I understand that to lose weight I just need to consume less calories than I burn each day. It helps that I have jeans that fit better so I can feel when I lose a tiny bit... I don't want to go clothes shopping too much though because really, I need to lose such a significant amount of weight that I want to go shopping when it'll be a little more fun to buy clothes. And the baby stretches out the necks in all my shirts and I'm not ready to buy new ones just for them to get all stretched out again. I was thinking the other day that at S's first birthday party it would be fun to have a bunch of pictures out in a recap of the year and if I lose 30-40 pounds before March then I would get tons of compliments because it would be such a huge difference from right after he was born. Yes, I am shallow enough that this could work as decent motivation. But you know what? Already I've lost and kept off 52 pounds from the time he was born. That's nothing to sneeze at, it's just not as noticeable when you still have a lot to lose.

3. S will be 8 months old tomorrow. K and I are already daydreaming about his first birthday party. We're having it at our house and it'll be pretty low key except for the fact we are inviting a ridiculous amount of people. We won't be trying to top it when he turns 2 or anything! It'll be a BBQ or something similar with cake and whatnot and kids will be welcome of course but I don't know how many kids will actually be there. But we want everyone to come celebrate with us. It'll be so exciting for S to turn one but it'll also be so exciting to me and K that we survived the first year of being parents! Our first year of marriage was so crazy and we're starting to settle down a little bit and we feel like it's a good opportunity to be really excited about something and have a bunch of people over to be excited with us. K wants to make fliers that say "Samsonpalooza" We'll see.

4. I love Twitter and wish I knew more people in real life who used it. You can find me at www.twitter.com/meljamc.

5. The only thing I liked about my last job was on the weekends when the cooks would let me cook my own food. They showed me little grill cooking tricks like putting a little butter or oil on a bun and setting it on the grill to toast up. I think it would be kind of fun to get to cook like that all the time, with a huge grill right in front of you that was super hot. I would hate to have the hours that those guys did though. My hours as a food service operator sucked ass and they were always there when I got there and still there as I was leaving.

6. I really truly hope that one day I live in a spot where it gets cooler and stays cooler once Fall hits. Although sometimes I think with global warming that it's not going to be like that anywhere for much longer. I don't know, but the weather seems to act differently than it did when I was a kid. It's hard to say how much of that is fact and how much if that is me paying attention in a different way as an adult.

7. Sometimes at night, my husband will be snoring on one side of me and I will hear the baby snoring on the monitor on the other side of me. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. They're my two favorite guys, you know.

we're like good times that haven't happened yet

Last night, K and I went to go see Bob Schneider at Floore's Country Store. This is one of our favorite things to do and we really try to go see him every time he plays. We love his music and we also really love Floore's. We had even considered renting it out and getting married there, which I'm sure would have been quite the conversation fodder for my California family especially. There's boots hanging from the ceiling and a ginourmous Texas flag behind the stage. It would have been kind of awesome, but I'm still happy with what our ceremony was.

I love live music. I used to go to shows all the time and every time I get the chance now, I am flooded with memories of other live music events and the desire to add to the list as much as possible. It's tougher now. Southern California was an optimal place to live for going to shows, big and small. San Antonio is not so much. It's a big city, but generally artists go to Dallas, Houston, or Austin when they come through Texas. There's smaller venues, like Floore's, but it's trickier to get it all set up to be able to go out with the baby now. I'm basically content going to see Bob as much as we can here in Helotes and I'd like to see Dave Matthews Band and Ani DiFranco the next time they come through the state if I can. We'll see!

It's so much fun to me to watch other people enjoying the live music in various ways. There's people who crowd the stage, there's those with cameras, there's those who are so engrossed in conversations they seem oblivious to the music, there's those who dance, there's those who watch those who dance... And then watching the band is great too. Just because a song sounds great doesn't mean the band is really into it that night and vice versa. I like watching the small interactions between the musicians and sometimes the sound guy/gal.

Last night was another little milestone for us because we left S with a non-family baby-sitter. Everything went fine but as with any new thing I was a bit nervous. S was of course still up when we got home. I guess he went to sleep but then woke up a couple of hours later and was inconsolable. It just took about thirty minutes to get him back to sleep and he didn't wake up again until this morning. It's a strange thing to leave your baby at home or with someone else. I want everything to go smoothly, but at the same time there is a small piece of me that wants him to miss me a little bit. I want him to have grand adventures as a baby, a kid, and as an adult, but I want him to want to tell me about them right away. And I guess right now the version of that is him stubbornly staying awake until I get home. Hopefully soon it will just be a delighted smile and squeal when he sees that it's me in the morning. Being a mom is tricky. Hard, awesome, tiring, and fulfilling all at the same time.

Maybe we can have a regular date night again because that would be really great for me and K. Yay for free and cheap baby-sitting!

humpday happiness

A small list of things making me happy these days...

...S sits up on his own now! It's adorable because sometimes he's just so darn proud of himself.
...friends that have rolled up their sleeves and worked hard to help me and K
...friends who will just listen to me sometimes
...meeting a bunch of K's family that I had never met before!
...Five Guys cheeseburger. I would happily spend an entire week's worth of bonus Weight Watcher points on one meal there.
...doing things I've never done before, and doing them fairly well!
...Dr. Pepper. This is making me way too happy actually. I need to cut waaaaay back. Sigh. :)
...thinking about things to do when a very good CA friend comes to visit at some point or another!
...how happily S will watch Wonderpets even if the show does annoy me quite a bit
...Mary Kay sales! (www.marykay.com/melissacalo-oy --hint hint)
...having plans for a hair cut this weekend!
...TWO DAYS UNTIL OUR ONE YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!
...returning things I don't need in order to get things I DO need and feeling like I somehow just got a bunch of stuff for free!
...it's actually cooling down a bit! Now if the humidity will kindly calm itself down...
...strong fingernails
...my husband, just in general

newsletter: month 6

Dear Samson,

Time is really flying by, because you are six months old! That means in six months we'll be having a party to celebrate your first birthday! I better start writing down plans now so it doesn't completely sneak up on me.

You, my friend, are completely adorable. I get stopped every single time I go out in public. At least one stranger will tell me how cute you are. You've gotten a little stingy with the smiles for strangers, but I think that's actually really reasonable. People tell me that you should be a little model. Honestly, I don't even know how to go about seeing if that's a possibility. I'm fine if the only pictures we have of you are the ones Daddy and I take. And you can be as stingy with your smiles as you want as long as I still get those little grins.

Six months ago I was terrified I was going to mess something up and you would get taken away or I would get in trouble. Who or under what authority this was going to happen was a moot point. I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything right. You were so new and fragile and I was so tired and sore that somehow I felt immense pressure to make sure everything was just right. Sometimes people would offer to do things and I felt like I couldn't accept it because I had to be able to do everything myself first. I tried to be polite when I declined but now I would like to go and explain that I've relaxed and if anyone ever wants to take the carrier, me and my back will gratefully take the break. But you know, I have to say I'm glad that I was determined to get everything down. I got to practice changing diapers on you when you were newborn and you'd scream your head off but basically stay still. Now, you're much happier but also much wigglier. I promise you, there's nothing to explore on the changing table. You don't have to roll over and reach every single time.

We've got a pretty good groove going. Daddy is working two jobs and you and I hang out at home or run errands. Daddy and I are working on getting the three of us into our own place and that should happen very soon. You're such a little trooper, hanging out with me while I clean or prep for painting or whatever at the new house. And car rides have gotten much better. You can entertain yourself by moving the canopy on your car seat but sometimes you'll cry when the sun gets in your eyes. I feel like this is the first of many many things I set up for you in a specific way on purpose and you stubbornly change only to "get the sun in your eyes" again. We'll see. It's just sometimes I see so much of myself in you I want to apologize profusely. I hope I can teach you how to handle yourself sooner than I figured out how to handle myself.

You sit up by yourself now, you can get up on all fours and then accidentally push yourself backwards when you're reaching for something in front of you, you eat baby food like gangbusters, you can reach for a bottle and kind of guide it to your mouth, you know how books "work" (you look to the right for the next page to appear), you LOVE your Grover doll, and you are the sweetest snuggler I know.

September is an important month for us. It's your half birthday and it's also me and Daddy's wedding anniversary month! We will have been married for one year this Saturday! We didn't get married only because we found out I was pregnant. We loved each other very much and tried to make our wedding as separate of an event from my pregnancy as we could. We decided we wanted all three of us to have the same last name when you were born and September was kind of a cool month to have our anniversary. August is my birth month. September is our wedding anniversary. October is Daddy's birth month. November is Thanksgiving. December is Christmas. January is New Year's. February is Valentine's Day and March is your birth month. When we decided to get married, we had a few goals for ourselves. One near the top was to make sure there was always enough love in our house that you would never feel like you forced us to get married. That wasn't the case at all. I don't know how many other people understand that and it doesn't even matter much. What matters is that you, Daddy, and I all know how it really happened. You have been the best surprise I could have ever thought of and I had no idea I had all of this love in my heart. Even more unexpectedly, I love Daddy more than I ever have and I love him in all kinds of new ways because of you being in our lives.

You burst onto the scene six months ago, Samson, and there's not a day that I am not ridiculously thankful for the pure joy you have brought into my life.

I love you.

Love, Mama

humpday happiness

A list of things making me happy lately!

...the ridiculous amount of rain making the skies gorgeous
...my son practicing facial expressions at very random times
...losing a little bit of weight every single week since I started Weight Watchers
...the new muscle definition in my arms, even if I'm basically the only one who can see it
...watching movies in bed with my husband
...thinking about this time last year
...my baby said "mama" the other day!
...talking to my sister on the phone and hearing a chorus of "Hi Auntie!" in the background
...the fact I basically celebrated my birthday for a month
...eating at The Cove
...planning the next trip to The Cove
...working on the house we're going to be renting

movie review monday: the book of eli

The Book of Eli

Rated: R

Violence, sexual situations suggested, general unhappiness, and no one has any soap

I have this friend who told me that Denzel Washington is a good actor, but he plays the same part in every movie. He's a guy on a mission who is misunderstood and ultimately triumphs. The only movie we could think of that this is not the case is Training Day. And I have to say, The Book of Eli basically follows the Denzel Washington format.

It's post-apocalyptic America and it's miserable and communicated clearly through a monochromatic set up. Eli is on a journey westward and doing his best to survive without knowing where he can get water from, when hijackers will attempt to rob or kill him, or exactly what he will find once he gets as far west as he can get.

Gary Oldman once again plays a villainous sort who is sending out bikers in search of a Bible even though they don't know how to read. He wants to have a Bible so he can have greater control over more people. Of course, Eli has one in his possession and they meet up and it gets tricky, ugly, and a little bloody.

Overall, I would say the movie was decent. I'm glad I watched it at home rather than having seen it in a theater. The concept was interesting and I'm curious to see if there will be a sequel.

I'm surprised I haven't heard more about this movie from Christian circles because it has a pretty powerful theme and conclusion that I would think could be considered tailor made for sermons. At one point Eli says he spent so much time protecting the Bible and just reading it that he forgot to live what it said.

Five stars being I must own this movie because I NEED to watch it multiple times and one star being this movie essentially wasted my time, I give The Book of Eli three stars.

I'd be interested to hear your opinion on this one. Feel free to include spoilers in the comments as they won't be spoilers to me!

the world ends without a tragedy

I miss writing.

I really do.

I miss reading too.

I, for the most part, really enjoy my life these days. There's a lot of challenges and there are a few things that make me want to bang my head on the wall because they are basically stupid situations that I am not in control of that will change for the better EVENTUALLY but nowhere near what I would make the time line be if I was in charge. But really, overall, things are good.

I am uncomfortable with the idea of people using this blog and what I post on Facebook to feel that they are caught up on my life. It's a fraction. And usually, it's not the actual big stuff.

Big stuff is messy and involves other people and is generally not appropriate for general consumption.

I had a good balance of writing regularly and sharing appropriately for awhile.

Let's see if I can get it back.