Some things making me happy from the past week...
...getting my eyebrows waxed with my sister!
...Jamba Juice
...a nice baby shower thrown by my mother-in-law
...watching my swollen feet go down just by putting my feet up
...using the crap out of our Blockbuster Online account
...having two tuners for the tv in our bedroom which means we can record one thing and watch something else AT THE SAME TIME
...finally starting to feel better from this blasted cold I got over the weekend
...my nieces and nephew in general
...my oldest niece, upon finding out about my impending c-section, saying "So you're going to have surgery to make you straight again like me?" while gesturing to her stomach
...my nephew helping take care of tissue paper during the baby shower, including removing it from a gift bag before I even had a chance to look inside
...my youngest niece waving her arms at me in delight--she's the most stoic baby I've ever even heard of so this is a pretty big deal
...the new nicknames of "Melris" and "Kilissa" for Baby C. Why didn't any of us think of those MONTHS ago?!
...figuring every day that I still don't have the baby, the cheeks may be getting a tiny bit chubbier which means there's extra room for all the kisses everyone will want to give (but no pinching! I HATED that as a kid!)
...drinking a Shirley Temple or a Cherry Limeaid
...egg salad
...SPARKLING WATER
...the Pretty and the Plain cd by JJ Heller
...having the stroller all put together and realizing how easy it is to snap the carrier in and out of the car seat base and stroller
...arming myself with helpful information about c-sections
...having a tentative baby debut day!
...feeling like I knew my baby was okay and then finding out s/he really was
...sourdough bread
...the way my husband tells me he loves me two or three times each time he calls me
...the Words with Friends game on my iPhone, especially since I am regularly playing my aunt, mom, and sister. The only drawback is you can't trash talk as well
...being able to fling myself forward with no or little help from laying on my back and how everyone is impressed every time I do it
...orange pineapple juice
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
love is not a victory march
Kind of towards the beginning of my pregnancy, I had this day at work where I started crying and I couldn't stop. I couldn't say why it started and every time I tried to figure it out the tears would just come harder. I stayed at work for several miserable hours before finally leaving early and I went to see my OB. She asked me some questions about how I was eating and sleeping and whatnot and then took my hand and said that it as a pregnant woman it was perfectly acceptable to just lose my shit sometimes. There was a lot more to that conversation, but that was when I really knew I had chosen the right OB.
It has been roughly 32 or 33 weeks of at least one doctor appointment a week, if not more than that. I know which veins I prefer anyone to try to draw blood from and which ones I will flatly refuse to allow be tried. I am an expert at peeing in a cup, both in aim and being able to do so just about on demand. I take my blood pressure at least three times a day at home, gave up all of my known allergy cures, eat pretty healthy foods, cut way back on caffeine, and watched my center of gravity change before my very eyes.
Have you ever had to do a 24 hour urine collection? You get a big jug and you literally pour all of your urine over a 24 hour period into the jug. Even better, you need to keep it cool so that bacteria doesn't grow so that means either a spot in the fridge or some sort of ice chest or bucket for it to hang out in. It's necessary to see how much protein is in your urine and can be indicative of preeclampsia during pregnancy.
I turned in my fourth 24 hour urine collection today, as per directions from one of the offices I go to. The other office called me and said they dumped it because I hadn't done it during the right chunk of 24 hours. I got conflicting directions and basically it doesn't really matter because I have to do it over again.
Well friends, I lost my shit again today.
I understand they need the numbers to make sure I'm doing okay. A lot of the signs of preeclampsia are not things you can just see. I don't understand it all exactly but what I do get is it's important for my health and the baby's health to take all of this very seriously. All of the labs and monitoring and poking and prodding is not just to torture me and the results that have come back this whole time have been pretty good overall. I can't even express how much I love my baby and how I already feel like a piece of my heart is just exposed to the world. So it's not that any of this isn't worth it. But I am tired.
I am tired of the appointments and arguing over scheduling the next round. I am tired of waddling my way to two appointments a week. I am tired of not driving myself and feeling like I am sucking the life out of whoever (mainly my mom) has generously driven me that day. I am tired of staying inside at home but also know that going anywhere for too long completely drains any energy reserves. I am tired of people saying I will miss being pregnant because even if that's true there is no way I will be able to see it for several more months.
It was completely unreasonable for me to cry at home and then continue crying the entire drive back to the doctor's office to get a new jug. I have a maximum of one week left. I can do this. I want to do this because I can hardly wait to meet my little one. And with the timing, I'm going to be in the area of the lab anyway so who cares if I have to stop there to drop it off. I was just looking forward to a day of no appointments and no health stuff. Wednesday was my day this week to finish up the baby's room and spend some time with my husband and not be tied up with anything else. I kind of get to do that anyway, I just have to stick close to home so I can be sure to collect everything I need. And maybe convince my husband to rub my back until I fall asleep at some point in the day.
The tears that spilled down my face were a culmination of things. All the doctor appointments, the discomfort of the last few weeks, the desire to get things done paired with a ridiculous lack of energy, the well meaning (mostly) people asking if we're ready, the cold I currently have... I guess sometimes the stress in my life just has to come out through my tear ducts.
I guess tomorrow is still kind of a day off. Then Thursday will be another non-stress test and then an ultrasound and a consult with the perinatologist. And the Thursday after that, Baby C will be here and I will have a completely new set of things to learn and handle and conquer. I can do it because I don't have to do it by myself.
It has been roughly 32 or 33 weeks of at least one doctor appointment a week, if not more than that. I know which veins I prefer anyone to try to draw blood from and which ones I will flatly refuse to allow be tried. I am an expert at peeing in a cup, both in aim and being able to do so just about on demand. I take my blood pressure at least three times a day at home, gave up all of my known allergy cures, eat pretty healthy foods, cut way back on caffeine, and watched my center of gravity change before my very eyes.
Have you ever had to do a 24 hour urine collection? You get a big jug and you literally pour all of your urine over a 24 hour period into the jug. Even better, you need to keep it cool so that bacteria doesn't grow so that means either a spot in the fridge or some sort of ice chest or bucket for it to hang out in. It's necessary to see how much protein is in your urine and can be indicative of preeclampsia during pregnancy.
I turned in my fourth 24 hour urine collection today, as per directions from one of the offices I go to. The other office called me and said they dumped it because I hadn't done it during the right chunk of 24 hours. I got conflicting directions and basically it doesn't really matter because I have to do it over again.
Well friends, I lost my shit again today.
I understand they need the numbers to make sure I'm doing okay. A lot of the signs of preeclampsia are not things you can just see. I don't understand it all exactly but what I do get is it's important for my health and the baby's health to take all of this very seriously. All of the labs and monitoring and poking and prodding is not just to torture me and the results that have come back this whole time have been pretty good overall. I can't even express how much I love my baby and how I already feel like a piece of my heart is just exposed to the world. So it's not that any of this isn't worth it. But I am tired.
I am tired of the appointments and arguing over scheduling the next round. I am tired of waddling my way to two appointments a week. I am tired of not driving myself and feeling like I am sucking the life out of whoever (mainly my mom) has generously driven me that day. I am tired of staying inside at home but also know that going anywhere for too long completely drains any energy reserves. I am tired of people saying I will miss being pregnant because even if that's true there is no way I will be able to see it for several more months.
It was completely unreasonable for me to cry at home and then continue crying the entire drive back to the doctor's office to get a new jug. I have a maximum of one week left. I can do this. I want to do this because I can hardly wait to meet my little one. And with the timing, I'm going to be in the area of the lab anyway so who cares if I have to stop there to drop it off. I was just looking forward to a day of no appointments and no health stuff. Wednesday was my day this week to finish up the baby's room and spend some time with my husband and not be tied up with anything else. I kind of get to do that anyway, I just have to stick close to home so I can be sure to collect everything I need. And maybe convince my husband to rub my back until I fall asleep at some point in the day.
The tears that spilled down my face were a culmination of things. All the doctor appointments, the discomfort of the last few weeks, the desire to get things done paired with a ridiculous lack of energy, the well meaning (mostly) people asking if we're ready, the cold I currently have... I guess sometimes the stress in my life just has to come out through my tear ducts.
I guess tomorrow is still kind of a day off. Then Thursday will be another non-stress test and then an ultrasound and a consult with the perinatologist. And the Thursday after that, Baby C will be here and I will have a completely new set of things to learn and handle and conquer. I can do it because I don't have to do it by myself.
Monday, March 8, 2010
baby don't you cry, baby don't you cry, gonna bake a pie with a heart in the middle
Today was a little bit of an adventure.
I had an appointment with my OB this morning at 10:30. It was for a non-stress test where I sit in a recliner and have a monitor strapped to my belly and a print out shows the baby's heart rate. I also hold a little clicker that looks like a Jeopardy button and press it every time I feel the baby move. I've had like ten of these between my OB's office and the perinatologist's office. The doctor needs to see a certain number of heartbeat accelerations for a certain amount of time to know the baby is doing well.
My child is quasi-cooperative during things like this. The baby moves like gangbusters at odd hours of the night. The offices are not open during odd hours of the night which is really a shame sometimes. Mostly the appointments have been fine but sometimes take a really long time because the baby is clearly moving but the heartrate hasn't accelerated enough or whatever. At the perinatologist's office, they follow up with an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid levels, to see a certain number of wiggles, and to check if the baby is making practice breathing movements.
One day at the perinatologist's office I had to lie in the recliner on my side and then switch and hold the monitor and it still wasn't quite enough. Then during the ultrasound, the baby was just sleeping and not doing the breathing motions and the technician had to watch for a certain amount of time to satisfy the requirements. I had to lay on my back, then my side, then my other side and by the time I switched the third time, I just started crying. I just couldn't keep it together anymore. It's a strange thing to not be worried about the baby exactly but to have to be so uncomfortable trying to prove to everyone else that the baby is okay.
So this morning, my mom drove me and we settled in, and everything was fine. Except I ended up on the monitor for two hours with no accelerations. My OB is amazing and straightforward and told me she was confident the baby was just fine but we needed an ultrasound to quantify it. She arranged for me to be fit in at the perinatologist's office because it would be a much faster way to go about getting the information she needed than going to the hospital. We talked about labor signs and she checked my cervix and the baby's position. She decided to schedule a tentative date for my c-section, barring no major changes.
My mom and I drove through Chick-Fil-A and then went to the perinatologist's office. I'm going to skip the whole part about how ridiculous the front desk people are because that's going in an email to the office manager after the baby is born. Heh.
I got on the table for the ultrasound and the baby wiggled a little bit and had a strong steady heartbeat and good breathing motions. And then refused to move any more. The technician jostled my belly quite a bit and the baby just continued to hang out. S/he is definitely still transverse (laying horizontally across my belly) so the c-section is definitely going to be the way I deliver. My mom and I got to watch Baby C on the monitor for twenty minutes or so while s/he didn't move much at all. After some measurements and print outs, the technician took all the newly gathered information to the doctor. Then we got the okay to just go home (after a quick stop to tell Ki in person that everything was just fine)!
I have another appointment on Thursday that will be a non-stress test and then an ultrasound to check on the baby's growth. Barring any major changes, the baby will be here by the end of next week!
Oh, I almost forgot the best part about the whole day!
My mom was driving us back home, almost five hours after my original appointment. We stopped by Ki's store so I could talk to him in person for a quick minute. At a stop light no less than twenty minutes after the ultrasound, the baby was moving so much we could both literally watch THROUGH TWO LAYERS OF CLOTHING. And as a matter of fact, the baby is moving like gangbusters right now. I am really excited to meet this child and see if all of this is indicative of his or her personality or it's just all a bunch of random happenstance for the doctor appointments.
I had an appointment with my OB this morning at 10:30. It was for a non-stress test where I sit in a recliner and have a monitor strapped to my belly and a print out shows the baby's heart rate. I also hold a little clicker that looks like a Jeopardy button and press it every time I feel the baby move. I've had like ten of these between my OB's office and the perinatologist's office. The doctor needs to see a certain number of heartbeat accelerations for a certain amount of time to know the baby is doing well.
My child is quasi-cooperative during things like this. The baby moves like gangbusters at odd hours of the night. The offices are not open during odd hours of the night which is really a shame sometimes. Mostly the appointments have been fine but sometimes take a really long time because the baby is clearly moving but the heartrate hasn't accelerated enough or whatever. At the perinatologist's office, they follow up with an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid levels, to see a certain number of wiggles, and to check if the baby is making practice breathing movements.
One day at the perinatologist's office I had to lie in the recliner on my side and then switch and hold the monitor and it still wasn't quite enough. Then during the ultrasound, the baby was just sleeping and not doing the breathing motions and the technician had to watch for a certain amount of time to satisfy the requirements. I had to lay on my back, then my side, then my other side and by the time I switched the third time, I just started crying. I just couldn't keep it together anymore. It's a strange thing to not be worried about the baby exactly but to have to be so uncomfortable trying to prove to everyone else that the baby is okay.
So this morning, my mom drove me and we settled in, and everything was fine. Except I ended up on the monitor for two hours with no accelerations. My OB is amazing and straightforward and told me she was confident the baby was just fine but we needed an ultrasound to quantify it. She arranged for me to be fit in at the perinatologist's office because it would be a much faster way to go about getting the information she needed than going to the hospital. We talked about labor signs and she checked my cervix and the baby's position. She decided to schedule a tentative date for my c-section, barring no major changes.
My mom and I drove through Chick-Fil-A and then went to the perinatologist's office. I'm going to skip the whole part about how ridiculous the front desk people are because that's going in an email to the office manager after the baby is born. Heh.
I got on the table for the ultrasound and the baby wiggled a little bit and had a strong steady heartbeat and good breathing motions. And then refused to move any more. The technician jostled my belly quite a bit and the baby just continued to hang out. S/he is definitely still transverse (laying horizontally across my belly) so the c-section is definitely going to be the way I deliver. My mom and I got to watch Baby C on the monitor for twenty minutes or so while s/he didn't move much at all. After some measurements and print outs, the technician took all the newly gathered information to the doctor. Then we got the okay to just go home (after a quick stop to tell Ki in person that everything was just fine)!
I have another appointment on Thursday that will be a non-stress test and then an ultrasound to check on the baby's growth. Barring any major changes, the baby will be here by the end of next week!
Oh, I almost forgot the best part about the whole day!
My mom was driving us back home, almost five hours after my original appointment. We stopped by Ki's store so I could talk to him in person for a quick minute. At a stop light no less than twenty minutes after the ultrasound, the baby was moving so much we could both literally watch THROUGH TWO LAYERS OF CLOTHING. And as a matter of fact, the baby is moving like gangbusters right now. I am really excited to meet this child and see if all of this is indicative of his or her personality or it's just all a bunch of random happenstance for the doctor appointments.
Friday, March 5, 2010
seven quick takes
It's a quick take Friday!
1. Since lately my biggest decision of the day is what to eat, I am so bored with food. Me. Seriously. I can't think of things that sound like they'd be amazing to eat or a meal that I am looking forward to eating. I eat and I'm still eating pretty healthy good but I can't tell you any other time in my life that I've been so uninterested in food. For real, I usually LOVE food. Like a ridiculous amount. I figure as long as I'm still getting hungry and eating well balanced meals it doesn't matter a huge amount but it's kind of weird.
2. Earlier this week I felt unkempt and gross. I am still supposed to be bedresting and also definitely don't have money for a spa day but let me tell you that a long HOT shower that involved shaving my legs did me a world of good. I used a scrub on my heels and washed my hair and it was just ridiculously fantastic. I'm not sure if it's cool or a little lame that a shower can provide a healthy dose of "me time." Heh, whatever works!
3. I made it to 37 weeks before my fingers got too swollen for me to be able to wear my wedding ring. I miss it. Not too much longer before I can put it back in, I don't think.
4. I've got my mind wrapped around having a c-section as much as I think I can. There's clean baby clothes and blankets and whatnot. We have a place for the baby to sleep and Ki is taking three weeks off that can start immediately with my hospital admission. I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. We've made it to 37 weeks which is technically a full-term baby. Any day now... I would love to have it on the calendar. All I know is that I won't be carrying to term, so in the next two weeks we'll officially be a family of three!
5. I haven't decided if I need to make a separate blog for baby stuff. I am kind of leaning towards no because I am afraid this blog will just die if I do that. To be determined, I suppose.
6. I LOVE SPARKLING WATER. It is hands down my favorite drink right now. I could easily drink my 64 ounces of water a day in sparkling form and be a happy girl about it. I just wish it was cheaper somehow. Shouldn't it be cheaper than soda because there's no flavor or even sodium?
7. My youngest niece is absolutely fascinating to me. She is almost nine months old and a tiny little thing who I really think has a running commentary in her head, with real words and everything. Today my sister and I were telling her she needs to start trying to say "Auntie" and I swear she put her fingers in her mouth and then said it. I think she will conquer small countries when she grows up.
1. Since lately my biggest decision of the day is what to eat, I am so bored with food. Me. Seriously. I can't think of things that sound like they'd be amazing to eat or a meal that I am looking forward to eating. I eat and I'm still eating pretty healthy good but I can't tell you any other time in my life that I've been so uninterested in food. For real, I usually LOVE food. Like a ridiculous amount. I figure as long as I'm still getting hungry and eating well balanced meals it doesn't matter a huge amount but it's kind of weird.
2. Earlier this week I felt unkempt and gross. I am still supposed to be bedresting and also definitely don't have money for a spa day but let me tell you that a long HOT shower that involved shaving my legs did me a world of good. I used a scrub on my heels and washed my hair and it was just ridiculously fantastic. I'm not sure if it's cool or a little lame that a shower can provide a healthy dose of "me time." Heh, whatever works!
3. I made it to 37 weeks before my fingers got too swollen for me to be able to wear my wedding ring. I miss it. Not too much longer before I can put it back in, I don't think.
4. I've got my mind wrapped around having a c-section as much as I think I can. There's clean baby clothes and blankets and whatnot. We have a place for the baby to sleep and Ki is taking three weeks off that can start immediately with my hospital admission. I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. We've made it to 37 weeks which is technically a full-term baby. Any day now... I would love to have it on the calendar. All I know is that I won't be carrying to term, so in the next two weeks we'll officially be a family of three!
5. I haven't decided if I need to make a separate blog for baby stuff. I am kind of leaning towards no because I am afraid this blog will just die if I do that. To be determined, I suppose.
6. I LOVE SPARKLING WATER. It is hands down my favorite drink right now. I could easily drink my 64 ounces of water a day in sparkling form and be a happy girl about it. I just wish it was cheaper somehow. Shouldn't it be cheaper than soda because there's no flavor or even sodium?
7. My youngest niece is absolutely fascinating to me. She is almost nine months old and a tiny little thing who I really think has a running commentary in her head, with real words and everything. Today my sister and I were telling her she needs to start trying to say "Auntie" and I swear she put her fingers in her mouth and then said it. I think she will conquer small countries when she grows up.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
seven quick takes
Friday Quick Takes!
1. I've had my iPhone for about a year, but I feel like I really USE it now. Just all of the sudden it really clicked how I could unleash some of its power to make my life a bit easier and entertainment filled. I think it's mostly that being on bed rest or just being exhausted means I'm laying down and bored and I've suddenly discovered a bunch of cool apps and how to feel comfortable browsing the web. And I'll go ahead and say I get what the appeal of the iPad is (except they totally should have named it the iSlate or iTablet) but I wont' be buying one any time soon. It would be kind of nice to have a bigger screen with the same dynamic experience to be able to really read in bed but how much longer will I be stuck slash have the time to enjoy it?
2. All I'm doing these days is hanging out at home growing a baby or going to doctor appointments to check to make sure the baby is still growing. This is supremely boring and what is even more frustrating is that although I have time and my own vehicle and whatnot, trying to venture out for much more than a doctor appointment wipes me out. And apparently when I come home and lay down again I snore loud enough for my mom to hear in the kitchen. I digress. Boring. I am bored bored bored. Also I have nothing to talk about with anyone because all I do is stay home and hope my blood pressure levels off and the baby is just fine. Not that no one is interested in that, but it doesn't make a very interesting conversation for very long.
3. In roughly less than a month, it is highly possible that my sister and I could be sitting in my parent's living room each nursing a baby.
4. I LOVE THE WINTER OLYMPICS. I get caught up in whatever sport is airing. I don't quite understand curling but I'm getting there... And I have to say short track speed skating is totally my favorite. I love getting to see the background stories on athletes and rooting for people and seeing history be made. I didn't realize there were so many winter sports that I enjoyed! Summer Olympics are an easy draw for me but I now simply and firmly LOVE THE OLYMPICS.
5. Pregnancy symptoms that caught me by surprise that I'm pretty much over: carpal tunnel syndrome, an endlessly stuffy nose, and ever expanding feet. I have high hopes that a few months after Baby C comes out to play that these will at the very least calm down. I'm really hoping my feet aren't going to stay exactly this big because it's going to be kind of difficult to find cute shoes and socks but I'm resigning myself to the idea that they won't shrink too much just in case. And the carpal tunnel syndrome really has got to go. The stuffy nose is bearable, just kind of obnoxious at night especially.
6. Bare bones honestly, I sit in my room with the tv on or a book open and my mind drifts and I start thinking about my friends. I start wondering what happened to all of them. I used to have a bunch in California and a bunch here in town and with the exception of a precious few (T and B, I'm looking at you), if I don't initiate conversation or hang out time, it doesn't happen. I understand that everyone has their own stuff going on and some schedules are less forgiving than others because I've totally been there. I just find myself wondering how much is me being overdramatic because I'm stuck at home with pregnancy hormones pumping through my system and whether or not really cleaning house on Facebook is reasonable right now. How do you ask people to please talk to you or hang out with you without just being lonely and needy? Or is that just okay sometimes?
7. I honest to God fall more in love with Ki on at least a weekly basis if not daily. Sometimes it's really specific things (him gushing over baby shoes, back rubs without being asked, his excitement about playing poker) and sometimes it's just getting to lay next to him at night or that we have matching wedding bands that we each loath taking off for any extended period of time. I had no idea that I'd marry him when I first met him or even through the first part of our relationship. But I count myself blessed every day to have him in my life, for us to have formed a family, and for there to be a baby about to join us.
1. I've had my iPhone for about a year, but I feel like I really USE it now. Just all of the sudden it really clicked how I could unleash some of its power to make my life a bit easier and entertainment filled. I think it's mostly that being on bed rest or just being exhausted means I'm laying down and bored and I've suddenly discovered a bunch of cool apps and how to feel comfortable browsing the web. And I'll go ahead and say I get what the appeal of the iPad is (except they totally should have named it the iSlate or iTablet) but I wont' be buying one any time soon. It would be kind of nice to have a bigger screen with the same dynamic experience to be able to really read in bed but how much longer will I be stuck slash have the time to enjoy it?
2. All I'm doing these days is hanging out at home growing a baby or going to doctor appointments to check to make sure the baby is still growing. This is supremely boring and what is even more frustrating is that although I have time and my own vehicle and whatnot, trying to venture out for much more than a doctor appointment wipes me out. And apparently when I come home and lay down again I snore loud enough for my mom to hear in the kitchen. I digress. Boring. I am bored bored bored. Also I have nothing to talk about with anyone because all I do is stay home and hope my blood pressure levels off and the baby is just fine. Not that no one is interested in that, but it doesn't make a very interesting conversation for very long.
3. In roughly less than a month, it is highly possible that my sister and I could be sitting in my parent's living room each nursing a baby.
4. I LOVE THE WINTER OLYMPICS. I get caught up in whatever sport is airing. I don't quite understand curling but I'm getting there... And I have to say short track speed skating is totally my favorite. I love getting to see the background stories on athletes and rooting for people and seeing history be made. I didn't realize there were so many winter sports that I enjoyed! Summer Olympics are an easy draw for me but I now simply and firmly LOVE THE OLYMPICS.
5. Pregnancy symptoms that caught me by surprise that I'm pretty much over: carpal tunnel syndrome, an endlessly stuffy nose, and ever expanding feet. I have high hopes that a few months after Baby C comes out to play that these will at the very least calm down. I'm really hoping my feet aren't going to stay exactly this big because it's going to be kind of difficult to find cute shoes and socks but I'm resigning myself to the idea that they won't shrink too much just in case. And the carpal tunnel syndrome really has got to go. The stuffy nose is bearable, just kind of obnoxious at night especially.
6. Bare bones honestly, I sit in my room with the tv on or a book open and my mind drifts and I start thinking about my friends. I start wondering what happened to all of them. I used to have a bunch in California and a bunch here in town and with the exception of a precious few (T and B, I'm looking at you), if I don't initiate conversation or hang out time, it doesn't happen. I understand that everyone has their own stuff going on and some schedules are less forgiving than others because I've totally been there. I just find myself wondering how much is me being overdramatic because I'm stuck at home with pregnancy hormones pumping through my system and whether or not really cleaning house on Facebook is reasonable right now. How do you ask people to please talk to you or hang out with you without just being lonely and needy? Or is that just okay sometimes?
7. I honest to God fall more in love with Ki on at least a weekly basis if not daily. Sometimes it's really specific things (him gushing over baby shoes, back rubs without being asked, his excitement about playing poker) and sometimes it's just getting to lay next to him at night or that we have matching wedding bands that we each loath taking off for any extended period of time. I had no idea that I'd marry him when I first met him or even through the first part of our relationship. But I count myself blessed every day to have him in my life, for us to have formed a family, and for there to be a baby about to join us.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
humpday happiness
A list of things making me happy this week...
...watching a ridiculous amount of movies.
...Facebook
...my mom buying clothes for the baby with coordinating accessories
...my husband's reaction to itty bitty baby shoes
...the amazing amount of use I've gotten out of my bath robe. Excellent purchase.
...brisket, even if I still feel hungry later on
...corn beef and cabbage
...THE OLYMPICS
...Ki's fascination with curling
...new episodes of Family Guy and King of the Hill on Adult Swim
...a handful of new maternity shirts. I may be almost done but it sure is nice to have some not the same old clothes to wear!
...the realization that if you don't pluck your eyebrows for awhile, it's unlikely anyone will actually SAY anything about it
...pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome either easing up or me getting used to it
...saving money
...sparkling water! Yay for sparkling water!
..."arguing" about baby names
...reading
...more cold weather!
...watching a ridiculous amount of movies.
...my mom buying clothes for the baby with coordinating accessories
...my husband's reaction to itty bitty baby shoes
...the amazing amount of use I've gotten out of my bath robe. Excellent purchase.
...brisket, even if I still feel hungry later on
...corn beef and cabbage
...THE OLYMPICS
...Ki's fascination with curling
...new episodes of Family Guy and King of the Hill on Adult Swim
...a handful of new maternity shirts. I may be almost done but it sure is nice to have some not the same old clothes to wear!
...the realization that if you don't pluck your eyebrows for awhile, it's unlikely anyone will actually SAY anything about it
...pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome either easing up or me getting used to it
...saving money
...sparkling water! Yay for sparkling water!
..."arguing" about baby names
...reading
...more cold weather!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
insert olympic theme here
Sorry for the dead air around here. I was sick with a cold for a little bit (now I just passed that around the rest of my family, what a good sharer am I) and now I'm on bed rest. I think new posts are going to be hit or miss for a little bit around here but I will try to work on it. But here's a little update anyway!
Bed rest is not as awesome as it may sound. My blood pressure had been fantastically low until last week. I take it at home twice a day and write it on a log for the doctors to see so I'm very aware of it. It just started creeping up for no particular reason. Well except for the part where I'm pregnant I guess. It didn't seem super worrisome to me because my blood pressure has definitely been higher in the past. But when I went to the high risk doctor for my weekly non-stress test, the bottom number was pretty high. I didn't really think anything of it until they came in to take my blood pressure again after I'd been sitting in the recliner listening to the baby for awhile and then I knew something was up.
So I was in the ultrasound room with my husband and sister-in-law and my favorite ultrasound technician and two people came in to tell me that because of my blood pressure I need to be on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. I couldn't help it, I started crying. The baby had been super wiggly while we were doing the non-stress test and basically uncooperative and I was really tired. And also I don't know if I've mentioned this but I cry ALL OF THE TIME. Commercials, Olympic events, text messages, a passage in a book... It's ridiculous. It just took me by such surprise because despite being told at the beginning of my pregnancy that I could die or the baby could die or we could both die, things have been pretty non-eventful. Outside of the insane morning sickness that lasted two trimesters and getting put on medical leave I guess. I had started to think I was going to make it to the end without any of the awful scenarios they lectured me on at the beginning.
I've been getting headaches about every other day and although they haven't been violent, they are apparently related to the blood pressure. So I have a list of symptoms I need to call the doctor for should they pop up and I'm to spend more time laying down than up moving around. My blood pressure has to level off or go down because the next step is a hospital stay or being induced.
If I can hold on for two more weeks, the baby is considered full term. And actually the baby is doing great! S/he weighs 5 lbs 13 oz and most often you aren't allowed to take the baby home from the hospital until they hit five pounds. Also s/he has been making breathing movements for at least three weeks and has continued to grow like gangbusters, all of which indicate a happy and healthy kid in there.
It's difficult to just stay down. There are baby clothes to be washed, sorted, and put away. There are boxes in my room that need to be packed up again and taken to the storage unit so it doesn't look like such a ridiculous disaster area in there. I like to cook things that are involved. And I like to not be stuck in the house.
To anyone who is working outside the home, I'm sure mandated bed rest sounds like a fantastic idea. If I was still working, I'm sure being at home would make my blood pressure drop pretty nicely. But now I'm just at home and limited on what I'm allowed to do. The part where it's not super specific is frustrating to people around me, I'm sure. I get it and I know my blood pressure and what it means. Also, my due date isn't for five weeks and I have at least one doctor appointment a week until then so things could (probably will?) change. I'm not sure that I was officially diagnosed with preeclampsia, but I'm at least on the very edge and it's not something to mess around with.
So, all in all, I'll be at home. Visitors are fine! Especially if you want to bring some magazines, a movie, or a book for me to borrow. :) Thank heavens the Olympics are on. I think I might just try to have all my babies where the Olympics are on at the very end because it is fantastic to be able to watch so much of so many different sports I don't necessarily know anything about.
Bed rest is not as awesome as it may sound. My blood pressure had been fantastically low until last week. I take it at home twice a day and write it on a log for the doctors to see so I'm very aware of it. It just started creeping up for no particular reason. Well except for the part where I'm pregnant I guess. It didn't seem super worrisome to me because my blood pressure has definitely been higher in the past. But when I went to the high risk doctor for my weekly non-stress test, the bottom number was pretty high. I didn't really think anything of it until they came in to take my blood pressure again after I'd been sitting in the recliner listening to the baby for awhile and then I knew something was up.
So I was in the ultrasound room with my husband and sister-in-law and my favorite ultrasound technician and two people came in to tell me that because of my blood pressure I need to be on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. I couldn't help it, I started crying. The baby had been super wiggly while we were doing the non-stress test and basically uncooperative and I was really tired. And also I don't know if I've mentioned this but I cry ALL OF THE TIME. Commercials, Olympic events, text messages, a passage in a book... It's ridiculous. It just took me by such surprise because despite being told at the beginning of my pregnancy that I could die or the baby could die or we could both die, things have been pretty non-eventful. Outside of the insane morning sickness that lasted two trimesters and getting put on medical leave I guess. I had started to think I was going to make it to the end without any of the awful scenarios they lectured me on at the beginning.
I've been getting headaches about every other day and although they haven't been violent, they are apparently related to the blood pressure. So I have a list of symptoms I need to call the doctor for should they pop up and I'm to spend more time laying down than up moving around. My blood pressure has to level off or go down because the next step is a hospital stay or being induced.
If I can hold on for two more weeks, the baby is considered full term. And actually the baby is doing great! S/he weighs 5 lbs 13 oz and most often you aren't allowed to take the baby home from the hospital until they hit five pounds. Also s/he has been making breathing movements for at least three weeks and has continued to grow like gangbusters, all of which indicate a happy and healthy kid in there.
It's difficult to just stay down. There are baby clothes to be washed, sorted, and put away. There are boxes in my room that need to be packed up again and taken to the storage unit so it doesn't look like such a ridiculous disaster area in there. I like to cook things that are involved. And I like to not be stuck in the house.
To anyone who is working outside the home, I'm sure mandated bed rest sounds like a fantastic idea. If I was still working, I'm sure being at home would make my blood pressure drop pretty nicely. But now I'm just at home and limited on what I'm allowed to do. The part where it's not super specific is frustrating to people around me, I'm sure. I get it and I know my blood pressure and what it means. Also, my due date isn't for five weeks and I have at least one doctor appointment a week until then so things could (probably will?) change. I'm not sure that I was officially diagnosed with preeclampsia, but I'm at least on the very edge and it's not something to mess around with.
So, all in all, I'll be at home. Visitors are fine! Especially if you want to bring some magazines, a movie, or a book for me to borrow. :) Thank heavens the Olympics are on. I think I might just try to have all my babies where the Olympics are on at the very end because it is fantastic to be able to watch so much of so many different sports I don't necessarily know anything about.
Friday, February 5, 2010
recipe: stuffed jalapenos
Oh so delicious, relatively easy, and any time you make them people will be impressed. I can practically guarantee it!
KICKASS STUFFED JALAPENOS
Ingredients:
approximately 15 jalapenos from the produce section at the grocery store
16 oz of Jimmy Dean original sausage
8 oz of cream cheese
2 cups of Italian style shredded parmasean cheese
Crumble sausage and fry up in a skillet. Drain the grease after the sausage is cooked all the way through.
Combine the sausage, cream cheese, and 1 1/2 cups of parmeasean cheese.
Set aside.
Cut the jalapeno peppers in half, length wise. You may need gloves to avoid being burned by the oil from the peppers.
Depending on how spicy you want the end result to be, scoop out the insides of the peppers. The more seeds you leave in, the spicier. And there is a vein that runs through the pepper that if left in will also contribute quite a bit of heat. Scoop everything out entirely for the mildest possible result.
Spoon sausage mixture into each jalapeno half.
Sprinkle remaining parmesean cheese across the tops of the stuffed peppers.
Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes. When the peppers go from bright green to more of an olive green color, they are done. The filling should be hot all the way through and the peppers should be soft rather than the firm you started with.
Serve! Excellent with a nice cold beer.
Don't expect to have any left over! I have made a small amount and I have made a LARGE batch and they will all be eaten. Make sure you allow time to bask in the compliments.
KICKASS STUFFED JALAPENOS
Ingredients:
approximately 15 jalapenos from the produce section at the grocery store
16 oz of Jimmy Dean original sausage
8 oz of cream cheese
2 cups of Italian style shredded parmasean cheese
Crumble sausage and fry up in a skillet. Drain the grease after the sausage is cooked all the way through.
Combine the sausage, cream cheese, and 1 1/2 cups of parmeasean cheese.
Set aside.
Cut the jalapeno peppers in half, length wise. You may need gloves to avoid being burned by the oil from the peppers.
Depending on how spicy you want the end result to be, scoop out the insides of the peppers. The more seeds you leave in, the spicier. And there is a vein that runs through the pepper that if left in will also contribute quite a bit of heat. Scoop everything out entirely for the mildest possible result.
Spoon sausage mixture into each jalapeno half.
Sprinkle remaining parmesean cheese across the tops of the stuffed peppers.
Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes. When the peppers go from bright green to more of an olive green color, they are done. The filling should be hot all the way through and the peppers should be soft rather than the firm you started with.
Serve! Excellent with a nice cold beer.
Don't expect to have any left over! I have made a small amount and I have made a LARGE batch and they will all be eaten. Make sure you allow time to bask in the compliments.
seven quick takes
Friday Quick Takes!
1. I'll just start with the one that is probably TMI: I miss peeing like a normal person. I have to go to the bathroom ALL OF THE TIME but it's never for a really satisfying session. A little tinkle and that's it which is ridiculous for the amount of pressure I feel down below driving me to waddle my way into the bathroom. At night especially I don't even flush every time because I feel like it's a waste of water to only flush that much down the toilet. You know those times when you feel like your bladder is going to BURST and you go to the bathroom and you kind of wished you timed your stream because you're so impressed with yourself? I miss those days terribly.
2. Baby shower tomorrow! I'm really excited because I think it will be a fun afternoon and I like it when people gush about my baby. S/he is already adorable and it makes me happy that other people think so too. So yay for a whole afternoon of food, games, and gushing about Baby C!
3. My niece and I had a long conversation last week about how the baby pees and it comes out when I pee, but the baby won't poop until after s/he is born (hopefully anyway). I think the next question is how is that baby going to get out of me. I'm hoping my sister will head me off at the pass for this one.
4. I like to think of myself as a pretty smart girl. I will say trying to apply for any kind of government assistance is ridiculously confusing. At my first WIC appointment, they suggested I apply for everything else I could get information on because you just never know. We desperately needed SOMETHING and it ended up that moving in with my parents has filled a lot of those gaps. But, this was in November and I'm just now getting letters in the mail about different things I may or may not qualify for and none of it is particularly straightforward. Sometime I'm going to write a whole big ass entry about this because even if it makes people uncomfortable, I think they should know the whole "welfare system" sucks big time.
5. My friend Mike asked if I would like to contribute to a web site he was starting called Tangentopia. I excitedly accepted and have thought of a few things to write and post on there but have also kind of drug my feet a little bit on the actual posting. I'm such a chicken. I am super thrilled to get to write for something besides myself but it's also scary. I need to sack up and just do it. But if you don't mind, click on over there and comment on stuff. Tell us what you'd like to see there too.
6. I am pretty scared about the first six weeks after the baby is born. What is it going to be like? Will I have good instincts? What about sleep? If I have post partum depression, how will I know and how long will it last? Will I be able to stick up for myself and my child and take on the role of motherhood right away? The only thing that doesn't worry me is what Ki will be like. So I guess it's not all awful. Words of encouragement would be accepted gratefully though.
7. Superbowl Sunday is coming! I could not care less about the actual game but I enjoy the over the top commercials. Ki and I are going to the house where he plays poker every week. I thoroughly enjoy that group of guys so I'm looking forward to the company. And also the food. I have never had a bad meal at that house and will honestly rearrange my schedule if I'm invited over for something involving food. We are bringing stuffed jalapenos and something else that's safe for me to eat in case the rest of the meal is also jalapeno themed. I just haven't decided what yet. All I know is I need to BEFORE Sunday because I don't want to go near the grocery store.
1. I'll just start with the one that is probably TMI: I miss peeing like a normal person. I have to go to the bathroom ALL OF THE TIME but it's never for a really satisfying session. A little tinkle and that's it which is ridiculous for the amount of pressure I feel down below driving me to waddle my way into the bathroom. At night especially I don't even flush every time because I feel like it's a waste of water to only flush that much down the toilet. You know those times when you feel like your bladder is going to BURST and you go to the bathroom and you kind of wished you timed your stream because you're so impressed with yourself? I miss those days terribly.
2. Baby shower tomorrow! I'm really excited because I think it will be a fun afternoon and I like it when people gush about my baby. S/he is already adorable and it makes me happy that other people think so too. So yay for a whole afternoon of food, games, and gushing about Baby C!
3. My niece and I had a long conversation last week about how the baby pees and it comes out when I pee, but the baby won't poop until after s/he is born (hopefully anyway). I think the next question is how is that baby going to get out of me. I'm hoping my sister will head me off at the pass for this one.
4. I like to think of myself as a pretty smart girl. I will say trying to apply for any kind of government assistance is ridiculously confusing. At my first WIC appointment, they suggested I apply for everything else I could get information on because you just never know. We desperately needed SOMETHING and it ended up that moving in with my parents has filled a lot of those gaps. But, this was in November and I'm just now getting letters in the mail about different things I may or may not qualify for and none of it is particularly straightforward. Sometime I'm going to write a whole big ass entry about this because even if it makes people uncomfortable, I think they should know the whole "welfare system" sucks big time.
5. My friend Mike asked if I would like to contribute to a web site he was starting called Tangentopia. I excitedly accepted and have thought of a few things to write and post on there but have also kind of drug my feet a little bit on the actual posting. I'm such a chicken. I am super thrilled to get to write for something besides myself but it's also scary. I need to sack up and just do it. But if you don't mind, click on over there and comment on stuff. Tell us what you'd like to see there too.
6. I am pretty scared about the first six weeks after the baby is born. What is it going to be like? Will I have good instincts? What about sleep? If I have post partum depression, how will I know and how long will it last? Will I be able to stick up for myself and my child and take on the role of motherhood right away? The only thing that doesn't worry me is what Ki will be like. So I guess it's not all awful. Words of encouragement would be accepted gratefully though.
7. Superbowl Sunday is coming! I could not care less about the actual game but I enjoy the over the top commercials. Ki and I are going to the house where he plays poker every week. I thoroughly enjoy that group of guys so I'm looking forward to the company. And also the food. I have never had a bad meal at that house and will honestly rearrange my schedule if I'm invited over for something involving food. We are bringing stuffed jalapenos and something else that's safe for me to eat in case the rest of the meal is also jalapeno themed. I just haven't decided what yet. All I know is I need to BEFORE Sunday because I don't want to go near the grocery store.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
humpday happiness!
Wahoosie, a list of happy things from this week!
...NSTs for the baby--it's nice to sit in a room for an hour with my husband and listen to the baby's heartbeat. Good thing I don't mind since this a weekly event now!
...hot showers.
...watching tons of episodes of The Office in no particular order
...if I take my wedding ring off at night before I go to bed, I can wear it the whole day long.
...Ki thinking it was funny when I fell asleep on his chest and maybe drooled a little
...a GORGEOUS wedding present from my aunt and uncle that arrived in THREE BOXES. I cannot wait to figure out what to cook with all of my new awesome cookware!
...SPARKLING WATER
...coming up with ideas of things to post to www.tangentopia.com where I get to be an editor (as soon as I actually post something anyway)
...using my Blockbuster Online membership
...checking books out from the library
...text messages, especially when I have conversations with three people or so at a time
...long phone conversations with my cousin. It's fun being pregnant at the same time as a relative!
...being almost done with setting up the baby's room
...playing around with makeup
...the rain!
...a wonderful crazy generous gift from T arriving in the mail
...long conversations with my six year old niece
...watching my husband get more and more excited about the baby being born soon
...BABY SHOWER ON SATURDAY!
...watching Teen Mom and then reading the bulletin boards on www.televisionwithoutpity.com--I can't help myself
...Arby's
...Stand-up Show Down on Comedy Central
...my nephew asking "Auntie, can you make this baby a boy please?"
...watching High Stakes Poker on Sunday nights
...Mug Root Beer
...LOST IS BACK!
...Prilosec
...following Sesame Street on Twitter
...NSTs for the baby--it's nice to sit in a room for an hour with my husband and listen to the baby's heartbeat. Good thing I don't mind since this a weekly event now!
...hot showers.
...watching tons of episodes of The Office in no particular order
...if I take my wedding ring off at night before I go to bed, I can wear it the whole day long.
...Ki thinking it was funny when I fell asleep on his chest and maybe drooled a little
...a GORGEOUS wedding present from my aunt and uncle that arrived in THREE BOXES. I cannot wait to figure out what to cook with all of my new awesome cookware!
...SPARKLING WATER
...coming up with ideas of things to post to www.tangentopia.com where I get to be an editor (as soon as I actually post something anyway)
...using my Blockbuster Online membership
...checking books out from the library
...text messages, especially when I have conversations with three people or so at a time
...long phone conversations with my cousin. It's fun being pregnant at the same time as a relative!
...being almost done with setting up the baby's room
...playing around with makeup
...the rain!
...a wonderful crazy generous gift from T arriving in the mail
...long conversations with my six year old niece
...watching my husband get more and more excited about the baby being born soon
...BABY SHOWER ON SATURDAY!
...watching Teen Mom and then reading the bulletin boards on www.televisionwithoutpity.com--I can't help myself
...Arby's
...Stand-up Show Down on Comedy Central
...my nephew asking "Auntie, can you make this baby a boy please?"
...watching High Stakes Poker on Sunday nights
...Mug Root Beer
...LOST IS BACK!
...Prilosec
...following Sesame Street on Twitter
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