Thursday, December 1, 2011

so hopeless and all alone

Oh dear. I think I need a detox session from Facebook or something. Unfortunately one of the big things I do with a ministry I'm involved in at my church is post to the Facebook page every day. I guess that doesn't mean I have to look at mine, but that's what ends up happening.

I'm kind of tired of the pissing contests that happen. I'm also tired of people thinking they know everything that's going on in my life because they are my Facebook friend. I don't talk about negative things, I don't talk about my in-laws, I try not to complain or be grumpy. Mostly that means if I'm having a bad day or going through something difficult, I'm just silent in Facebook land. Which means if we haven't chatted face to face in awhile but you've been following my online presence, you have a very basic idea of what's actually going on. I don't mean that in a snotty way at all.

I have made several major moves in my life. It is insane to me how different it is to live in a different spot from someone now though. I'm only 31 so it is bizarre to me that I'm saying things like "I remember when..." but it's just true! We moved when I was in high school (1994) and the Internet was not this huge wide spread thing. My family depended on snail mail and video taped messages (VHS) to stay in touch. It was a big deal when we got to go back to California and be in person with everyone. It was hard for me to stay in touch with my friends because long distance phone calls were very expensive and we had to rely on writing letters. Not a lot of teenagers are into writing letters.

Last summer, we got to go from Texas to California and there was some family that I haven't seen in YEARS and I was really excited to get the chance to sit and talk. And none of them felt like we needed to really talk because they follow me on Facebook. I love being so accessible to the masses in general and specifically reconnecting with friends and family. But I value time spent over a cup of coffee (or whatever you can find in a coffee shop type setting that suits your tastes) and chatting face to face. I like to see people's faces as they tell me stories and I like to hug people I haven't seen in ages.

And the stupid contests over how many "friends" you have and who posts more on who's wall and blah blah blah. I think it's easier to be self-involved when all your interactions are online as well. If someone posts they are having a bad day, it's hard to know how bad of a day and how many questions you can ask. I've noticed a trend lately of people making typos and leaving it up and adding another comment to correct them. What's the deal with that? I have no qualms about deleting a post and reposting it correctly. And if someone was ridiculously rude to me, I'd just delete the comment and let the chips fall where they may.

I feel old fashioned.

Maybe mostly today I just feel grumpy.


tina said...

Yep. That's part of the reason why I left facebook. I needed a break. I know I could've just not checked mine as often, but I knew that wouldn't work. I still have to log in to get some emails of a few long lost friends that I DO want to keep in touch with. But for the most part, it feels nice to be away. I hate the whole "keeping up with the Joneses" thing and it started to feel like it that. I have no desire to make it look like I'm just as happy, if not happier, then everyone else. The first week away was weird. But now that it's been a few weeks, it actually feels good. I can't stand it when people are glued to their phones. I'm sitting right in front of you. Talk to ME. Ya know? But whatevs. Maybe I'm just getting old and crochety. Wait. Do women get crochety or just men? Eh. Who cares.

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

I think it is the time of year for grumpiness.:)
I love FB for allowing me to easily connect with friends from past stages of my life. And because of FB, we have gotten together in person periodically. (We are spread all over, so this is a feat.)
But I was home with sick kids for 10 days in January and living through FB, Twitter, and the blogosphere started to make me feel like a hermit.
I agree, nothing is better than catching up over a cup of coffee. -Ellen

Kate Valiente said...

I miss coffee talks with you Shug :)

I also miss Wendesday Wonderfulness.