Sunday, June 14, 2009

family family family

My sister has three kids now. That's kind of pleasantly insane to me. Auntie and Baby Z Days just got a lot more intense, but also cuter which I didn't really think was possible.

My latest niece was born on Tuesday night and she is adorable! She is about three weeks early and she is super tiny. But she came with fingernails and eyelashes and everything! I've heard from a few family members that she reminds them of me when I was first born. I had my mom take a picture of us face by face for comparison.

I adore my nieces and nephew and have tremendous fun doing things like baking cupcakes and knowing that after I hop them up on sugar they're just going home. I'm thrilled to think of things to do with three kids now. Well, in a few years anyway. In the meantime, I owe my nephew a trip to the movies and I think my oldest niece would like to go swimming or at the very least a long trip to some sort of playground.

The part where people seem kind of troubled by the fact the big things in my life right now are working in food service, building my Mary Kay business, and waiting for college acceptance for the fall and that's it is a little hard. The part where people feel the need to comfort me that I'm not the one having kids is a little hard. I'm okay with that.I am dating someone I love deeply and we are just not in a big rush for all the next steps ahead of us. We will get there and it will be beautiful and amazing. Maybe at some point I'll be in the hospital in labor and someone will message my sister and have no regard for what she's doing or where she's at and only ask questions about me. You never know. In the meantime, asking when it is I'm going to have kids or finally get married or whether or not it's weird that my younger sister has kids and I don't isn't really helpful.

I'm 28 and not where I thought I'd be when I was 28. But it's been a good journey to get to this point and for the most part I'm pretty happy. The other thing is that I have made all the decisions I've made up to this point only with the exact information I had at the time. Maybe if I knew then what I know now some choices would have been different, but I cannot apologize for that now nor can I go back and change anything. It doesn't make any sense for me to be hard on myself, only to keep my eyes open and use all the things I've learned to benefit me as I make decisions now.

So, since I have a few days off this week and my sister is alright with it, I'm going to go hang out with all three of the kids who made me an Auntie. I plan on marveling over the teeniest baby's delicate features and squeaks and grunts, watching Transformers and building cars and trucks out of legos and ridiculous numbers of wheels with my nephew, and dancing with my oldest niece and talking about princesses and whether or not she's old enough to buy her own pink sparkle lip gloss.

And taking pictures. Lots of pictures. :)

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