the one where i talk about 31 days of getting my shit together #3

The biggest thing I did today was go grocery shopping, get a whole chicken, cook it, debone it, and start chicken stock that will cook overnight in the crockpot. It's not giant, but it's a decent accomplishment that I'm pretty excited about!

My method was super simple.

Rinse the chicken off
Stuff the cavity with lemon and parsley.
Cook in the crockpot on high for 4.5 hours.

Let chicken cool.
Debone as much as I had patience for tonight.
Dump the bones and skin right back in the crockpot.
Add celery, carrots, garlic, pepper, onion, salt, and water.
Cooking on low overnight.

Tomorrow I'll strain it and put it in containers. I'll freeze most of it and use some of it for something immediately so I can taste my handiwork!

Tomorrow I'll also be making chicken salad with the chicken. I'll add Greek yogurt, mayo, grapes, red onion, apples, salt, pepper, celery, and almonds. Maybe something more if I feel like it needs it. I don't know know, I"m really winging this one.

I picked up in S's room, I picked up a bit in the living room, I decided the clothes really need to be folded and put away, and I glanced longingly at the baby's room, wanting to dive in there and sort clothes and set up the crib and everything. It has to be cleared out first. Decidedly less fun.

Yesterday, I think my husband was a bit concerned about me. I don't know what's wrong. I feel tired and achy but I have a two year old doing his best to stage a sleep strike which seems to be affecting my energy level MUCH more than his. I miss baby-sitting. Last time I was pregnant I was fairly depressed while I was working and it started to lift once I wasn't anymore. This time, I'm in a funk after having had to stop working. But he took care of S so I could take a delicious nap and he ran some errands for me after we finally got S quiet for bed time.

I was so fiercely independent for so long that sometimes I fall back into that and forget that my husband and I are part of a team that does things together and for each other. I don't ask for help very much and I need to more. I need to open up a bit more to him. But I am thankful he knows me well enough to just jump in and take over sometimes. We've both gotten better. We both have a ways to go in being a 100% team 100% of the time. I think part of it is we were both on our own for several years before getting married. And part of it is personality and part of it is just straight up time availability.

You know what though? When I was in labor with S and my epidural stopped working and I knew something was wrong but couldn't string the words together to say, all I wanted was K standing next to me holding my hand. And he knew it and was there. He only let go to run to get a nurse and they did the c-section within ten minutes of that.

This is not the journey of 31 days that I had meant for it to be, but I am grateful for the reminder that my husband doesn't expect me to have all my shit together. He just expects me to let him help me figure it out and remember that he's there regardless anyway.