At some point or another hopefully sooner rather than later, I'll be working and we will be able to save up real actual money for things like buying a house and going on family vacations. Buying a house will likely come first but it's more fun to day dream about vacations, so that's what I like to do. I have said for awhile that I'm becoming a nurse not because I care about people or want to do good but because I want to take my kids to Disneyworld. But I recently found out that it is $100 a day per person. So that is not my hallmark vacation anymore. The more I thought about it, the more I think my kids will kind of hate me until they are adults and then they might appreciate our family vacations.
Here is my vision: we will load up the car, have a cooler, and we will drive. We will go to as many of the states that we can get to. We'll start just here in Texas. We can go to the beach or go to a town in West Texas that intentionally cuts down on light pollution so you can read by the moonlight when it's a full moon. We'll go to New Mexico to see the hot air balloons. And the four of us can each stand in a different state. We'll go to see the redwoods in Northern California so big that we can drive our car right through the middle of one. The Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore, the presidential libraries, our state capital, the nation's capital, museums, and national landmarks. That's what I want.
And at some point, Disneyworld.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Sunday, December 2, 2012
the one with the revelation
I have just a few things left to do before I will feel like I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be to have this baby. Move the bassinet into my room, clean out my car and put the carrier car seat base in the backseat all ready to go, pack my hospital bag, and pack as much of S's bag as I can ahead of time. After that, I'll work on doing things like mopping and other things to make the house a bit more presentable in case people want to visit us right away.
My dad is going to pick up K on Wednesday to get the tv they are passing down to us (I love it when my parents upgrade electronics--they very often give the old ones to us or give us a very good deal on buying from them!) and then come to our house and put the crib back together and assemble the dresser we have for Baby C-2. I had kind of a meltdown yesterday that is embarrassing in hindsight but still managed to create a good outcome so two of the biggest things I was worried about making happen are actually done now (the futon is in the living room and the closet by our front door is cleared out). Clothes are sorted. Going home outfit has been selected. We have diapers and wipes. It's going to be okay.
I'm really excited that I made it to December! There was no big reason I wanted to other than it's the month of my due date. Nothing has really gone the way I was hoping it would for the duration of this pregnancy but it's all been okay anyway. Regardless of what day this little guy is born, it'll be an extra cool date since he has 12 and 12 as bookends. My next appointment is Tuesday and I'll have a non-stress test and a growth ultrasound which will help my OB tell me if we're going to make it to the scheduled c-section date of 12/13 or if we'll be meeting him a bit sooner. I'm still hoping for 12/13. It seems very close and just incredibly far away all at the same time!
My meltdown revelation yesterday was that I need to speak up a LOT more than I usually do. I am thoroughly exhausted right now and don't anticipate that changing for about six weeks at this point (at least anyway). And you know what? There is not a single person around me that has a problem telling me what they need or what they want and doing fairly well at making it happen for themselves. It's time for me to stop being the only one standing around wishing things were a bit different. I'm not planning on being purely selfish from here on out. I have a friend who is a really good host and is also amazing at kicking you out when she's done without being a jerk. That's what I'm aiming for.
I am determined that it is okay for me to disappoint people by staying home if that's what is best for my health and/or my new little guy's health. They will either understand or they won't. But I don't get two chances to recover from surgery right the first time. I also will be breastfeeding again and am hoping super hard it goes much more smoothly this time than it did with S and I need to focus on that unabashedly especially during the first couple of weeks so we can have a solid foundation.
K and I will be able to figure this out as we go. I'm not very worried about being able to speak up better because when it's for my kids, it's much easier. Hopefully that will spill over into the rest of my life and I won't fall into being "Baby C-2's Mom" and not Melissa for the first year like I did with S.
This is going to be a good month.
Hopefully I can turn my a/c back off soon!
My dad is going to pick up K on Wednesday to get the tv they are passing down to us (I love it when my parents upgrade electronics--they very often give the old ones to us or give us a very good deal on buying from them!) and then come to our house and put the crib back together and assemble the dresser we have for Baby C-2. I had kind of a meltdown yesterday that is embarrassing in hindsight but still managed to create a good outcome so two of the biggest things I was worried about making happen are actually done now (the futon is in the living room and the closet by our front door is cleared out). Clothes are sorted. Going home outfit has been selected. We have diapers and wipes. It's going to be okay.
I'm really excited that I made it to December! There was no big reason I wanted to other than it's the month of my due date. Nothing has really gone the way I was hoping it would for the duration of this pregnancy but it's all been okay anyway. Regardless of what day this little guy is born, it'll be an extra cool date since he has 12 and 12 as bookends. My next appointment is Tuesday and I'll have a non-stress test and a growth ultrasound which will help my OB tell me if we're going to make it to the scheduled c-section date of 12/13 or if we'll be meeting him a bit sooner. I'm still hoping for 12/13. It seems very close and just incredibly far away all at the same time!
My meltdown revelation yesterday was that I need to speak up a LOT more than I usually do. I am thoroughly exhausted right now and don't anticipate that changing for about six weeks at this point (at least anyway). And you know what? There is not a single person around me that has a problem telling me what they need or what they want and doing fairly well at making it happen for themselves. It's time for me to stop being the only one standing around wishing things were a bit different. I'm not planning on being purely selfish from here on out. I have a friend who is a really good host and is also amazing at kicking you out when she's done without being a jerk. That's what I'm aiming for.
I am determined that it is okay for me to disappoint people by staying home if that's what is best for my health and/or my new little guy's health. They will either understand or they won't. But I don't get two chances to recover from surgery right the first time. I also will be breastfeeding again and am hoping super hard it goes much more smoothly this time than it did with S and I need to focus on that unabashedly especially during the first couple of weeks so we can have a solid foundation.
K and I will be able to figure this out as we go. I'm not very worried about being able to speak up better because when it's for my kids, it's much easier. Hopefully that will spill over into the rest of my life and I won't fall into being "Baby C-2's Mom" and not Melissa for the first year like I did with S.
This is going to be a good month.
Hopefully I can turn my a/c back off soon!
Friday, September 7, 2012
the one where i talk about my parenting style
So we're in the middle of potty training S and it is a ginormous pain in the ass.
He is super excited to flush the toilet, talk about his penis and who else has one, and he loves his Thomas the Train and Toy Story underwear. But he will pee but not poop in the toilet. The Cars Pull-Ups that he also is super stoked to wear are different than diapers in that for some reason if he poops and it's not noticed immediately, he gets a rash on his little butt and he gets so busy playing that he doesn't want to take the time to let me clean him up and get him new Cars. So, diapers for nap time and overnight right now is what is absolutely necessary. It will all come together, and hopefully sooner rather than later so this mama only has to have one boy in diapers at a time.
I don't really know what I'm doing. That's my parenting style summed up in one sentence. I just love this kid a lot and do my best to be patient with him and myself. I get overwhelmed by the instructional mommyblogs. I like the ones that cuss and share pictures of crazy hair that lasted all day long.
Anyway, last night, S was freaking out because he didn't want to wear a diaper. He wanted to wear Cars or Tommy Choo-Choo or Buzz. I offered the compromise of wearing some too big underwear on top of his diaper. He couldn't decide between three different pairs. I suggested he ask Daddy for help deciding. And somehow, this turned into my son wearing one pair over his diaper, one pair over his pajama pants, and one pair over his head.
He was ridiculously happy. I was just tired. And he went to bed without any more fuss and took the pair off his head before getting in his bed.
So, I don't really know what I'm doing. I think a mom who was better organized and energized would have a way to have had her kiddo already potty trained by now, had a way for him to not wear a diaper at night, or been able to figure out a way to make wearing a diaper cool because it was just for night time. But I am exhausted. At the end of the night, I just need S to get in bed so I can get in bed. A happy kid is so much easier to get into his room than a kid who is upset.
Tonight I gave him a bath and he freaked out because he wanted to wear his shoes in the tub and I said no. But then I looked at the shoes (fake baby crocs) and realized they were super dirty and I didn't honestly care if he took a bath with those shoes on. So I told him I needed to wash them first and he was super excited. He wore his shoes in the tub, got his hair washed, his little body scrubbed down, and played until the bubbles all dissipated. Next bath time, I'll make sure to draw the bath, strip him down outside of the bathroom, and carry him in naked. He's still kind of easily distracted. Tonight he ran and got the shoes while I was getting the tub ready.
But again, I don't know if that was a smart thing to do or just lazy. I don't want to set these precedents where S just gets what he wants all the time. But right now, I just can't emphasize enough how tired I am. It is still ridiculously hot and I feel like I am getting bigger by the hour with this second baby.
I'm not super worried about this. I will admit that I am actively not thinking about how to handle any of this with two kids because it really freaks me out. Hopefully by the time the second one is two, I will have much more energy and direction. Or something.
He is super excited to flush the toilet, talk about his penis and who else has one, and he loves his Thomas the Train and Toy Story underwear. But he will pee but not poop in the toilet. The Cars Pull-Ups that he also is super stoked to wear are different than diapers in that for some reason if he poops and it's not noticed immediately, he gets a rash on his little butt and he gets so busy playing that he doesn't want to take the time to let me clean him up and get him new Cars. So, diapers for nap time and overnight right now is what is absolutely necessary. It will all come together, and hopefully sooner rather than later so this mama only has to have one boy in diapers at a time.
I don't really know what I'm doing. That's my parenting style summed up in one sentence. I just love this kid a lot and do my best to be patient with him and myself. I get overwhelmed by the instructional mommyblogs. I like the ones that cuss and share pictures of crazy hair that lasted all day long.
Anyway, last night, S was freaking out because he didn't want to wear a diaper. He wanted to wear Cars or Tommy Choo-Choo or Buzz. I offered the compromise of wearing some too big underwear on top of his diaper. He couldn't decide between three different pairs. I suggested he ask Daddy for help deciding. And somehow, this turned into my son wearing one pair over his diaper, one pair over his pajama pants, and one pair over his head.
So, I don't really know what I'm doing. I think a mom who was better organized and energized would have a way to have had her kiddo already potty trained by now, had a way for him to not wear a diaper at night, or been able to figure out a way to make wearing a diaper cool because it was just for night time. But I am exhausted. At the end of the night, I just need S to get in bed so I can get in bed. A happy kid is so much easier to get into his room than a kid who is upset.
Tonight I gave him a bath and he freaked out because he wanted to wear his shoes in the tub and I said no. But then I looked at the shoes (fake baby crocs) and realized they were super dirty and I didn't honestly care if he took a bath with those shoes on. So I told him I needed to wash them first and he was super excited. He wore his shoes in the tub, got his hair washed, his little body scrubbed down, and played until the bubbles all dissipated. Next bath time, I'll make sure to draw the bath, strip him down outside of the bathroom, and carry him in naked. He's still kind of easily distracted. Tonight he ran and got the shoes while I was getting the tub ready.
But again, I don't know if that was a smart thing to do or just lazy. I don't want to set these precedents where S just gets what he wants all the time. But right now, I just can't emphasize enough how tired I am. It is still ridiculously hot and I feel like I am getting bigger by the hour with this second baby.
I'm not super worried about this. I will admit that I am actively not thinking about how to handle any of this with two kids because it really freaks me out. Hopefully by the time the second one is two, I will have much more energy and direction. Or something.
Friday, August 24, 2012
the one where i talk about when i got married
K and I got married in September 2009. We were living together and had talked about getting married on 10-10-10. Then around the middle to end of July 2009, I found out I was pregnant. K asked if I wanted to get married before the baby was born so we would all three have the same last name, and I did. That's the pragmatic reason. I was crazy in love with him too. We decided to get married in September so we could tell that baby we didn't get married just because of him. It was two separate events, me finding out I was pregnant and us getting hitched. I don't know how much that will matter to S. I'll get back to you in a decade or two.
At the beginning of August, we told my parents and grandmother, who was visiting from California, we were getting married in the middle of September. We had planned to go to the courthouse with our immediate family members and then go out to eat someplace we didn't typically eat, like The Cheesecake Factory, with everyone to celebrate. My parents said no. I got scared for a second, even though I was 29 years old. My mom said that they had paid for my sister to have a lovely wedding and they would like to do the same for me. No pressure on venue or style, but we would go someplace better than The Cheesecake Factory, and wouldn't I like a new dress?
Before we let them pay for anything, we told them I was pregnant and that was the motivation behind getting married then, but not the motivation behind us getting married. They weren't thrilled, but by the end of that conversation, I think my mom was excited for a new grandbaby.
I went dress shopping with my mom, grandmother, and one of my friends and we found a lovely dress. I had a personal shopper for the day and got the perfect shoes, earrings, and necklace to match perfectly with the dress. It was so much fun!
We decided to stick with the courthouse wedding because that's what we really wanted, and my mom looked into a few restaurants. She asked how we felt about eating at The Palm because we could get a private room and choose a menu for everyone. That was basically amazing and we were very excited about it.
I still love our wedding. We were in the judge's chambers and it was packed but it still felt like it was just me, K, and the judge. Our vows were good and the judge said "You may now kiss your wife" which I'd never heard before at a wedding and made me melt. Our moms cried. We took pictures and got to ride in a limo to take pictures at various spots before meeting everyone at The Palm for dinner.
It was a nice dinner and a fun time with our families. That night, K and I decided that every year for our anniversary, we'd go back to eat at The Palm, even if it took us months to save up to do so. And that's what we've done!
This is going to be our third year, and our first anniversary date that will go over night. I am very excited. We have been stashing money away a tiny bit at a time and will have enough for dinner. Our hotel stay is courtesy of a fabulous Groupon deal and literally the first time we've used a credit card as a married couple. And it's just a few weeks away, so it's pretty much time to pour over the menu online and think about what I get to order!
At the beginning of August, we told my parents and grandmother, who was visiting from California, we were getting married in the middle of September. We had planned to go to the courthouse with our immediate family members and then go out to eat someplace we didn't typically eat, like The Cheesecake Factory, with everyone to celebrate. My parents said no. I got scared for a second, even though I was 29 years old. My mom said that they had paid for my sister to have a lovely wedding and they would like to do the same for me. No pressure on venue or style, but we would go someplace better than The Cheesecake Factory, and wouldn't I like a new dress?
Before we let them pay for anything, we told them I was pregnant and that was the motivation behind getting married then, but not the motivation behind us getting married. They weren't thrilled, but by the end of that conversation, I think my mom was excited for a new grandbaby.
I went dress shopping with my mom, grandmother, and one of my friends and we found a lovely dress. I had a personal shopper for the day and got the perfect shoes, earrings, and necklace to match perfectly with the dress. It was so much fun!
We decided to stick with the courthouse wedding because that's what we really wanted, and my mom looked into a few restaurants. She asked how we felt about eating at The Palm because we could get a private room and choose a menu for everyone. That was basically amazing and we were very excited about it.
I still love our wedding. We were in the judge's chambers and it was packed but it still felt like it was just me, K, and the judge. Our vows were good and the judge said "You may now kiss your wife" which I'd never heard before at a wedding and made me melt. Our moms cried. We took pictures and got to ride in a limo to take pictures at various spots before meeting everyone at The Palm for dinner.
It was a nice dinner and a fun time with our families. That night, K and I decided that every year for our anniversary, we'd go back to eat at The Palm, even if it took us months to save up to do so. And that's what we've done!
This is going to be our third year, and our first anniversary date that will go over night. I am very excited. We have been stashing money away a tiny bit at a time and will have enough for dinner. Our hotel stay is courtesy of a fabulous Groupon deal and literally the first time we've used a credit card as a married couple. And it's just a few weeks away, so it's pretty much time to pour over the menu online and think about what I get to order!
Friday, August 3, 2012
the one where i mention i messed up a little bit with my son
When S was closer to an itty bitty than toddler, I taught him how to fist pump and high five and forgot about teaching him how to give kisses. Not because he's a boy, because fist pumping while chanting "Fresh new diaper!" was hysterical to me. Luckily, later on, he picked up on blowing kisses by himself and then a little after that suddenly started giving us kisses on the cheek. I hug and kiss that little guy several times a day because he's a great kid and also because he has these adorable velvet chubby cheeks that are just begging to be kissed. I figure I've got to get it in now before he gets all embarrassed that his mom is kissing him again!
Every night as I get him ready for bed, I ask him for a kiss and turn my cheek towards him. I keep turning my head back and forth asking for kisses until he starts laughing. I love it. I love that he'll give me fifty kisses and that he thinks it's funny that I keep asking for another one.
The other night I was just tired and not feeling well and wanting to get him in bed so I could just get in bed myself. I just asked for one kiss on each cheek and then went to give him a kiss. He looked crestfallen for a split second. And I asked for more kisses. I honestly had no idea that he liked giving me those kisses as much as I liked getting them. I thought that was my own weird mama thing, but it turns out he thinks it's cool too.
I love that kid. I love being a mom.
Every night as I get him ready for bed, I ask him for a kiss and turn my cheek towards him. I keep turning my head back and forth asking for kisses until he starts laughing. I love it. I love that he'll give me fifty kisses and that he thinks it's funny that I keep asking for another one.
The other night I was just tired and not feeling well and wanting to get him in bed so I could just get in bed myself. I just asked for one kiss on each cheek and then went to give him a kiss. He looked crestfallen for a split second. And I asked for more kisses. I honestly had no idea that he liked giving me those kisses as much as I liked getting them. I thought that was my own weird mama thing, but it turns out he thinks it's cool too.
I love that kid. I love being a mom.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
the one where i mention we're having another boy!
K's mom has been really interested in baby-sitting for us and I have been really interested in letting her. It is so lovely to go to an OB appointment and leave a urine sample all by myself. S is a fantastic kid and does really well in the waiting room and everything, but since she wants to keep him, it makes things a lot easier!
K and I were able to drop S off and then had enough time to get something quick to eat before going to the doctor. We stopped at a little coffee shop and I had an almond latte and a breakfast taco and it made me way happier than is reasonable. Almond is my favorite everything and ever since Starbucks stopped carrying it, I honestly haven't found a good replacement drink. So my almond latte was delicious. And it was nice to talk to the couple that runs the coffee shop. I could see me and K having a little place like that someday maybe.
Then, the ultrasound! The sonographer asked us if we wanted to know the gender before she started and we said we did. I'm glad we did want to know because when the baby popped up on the screen, it was immediately apparent it was a boy! Everything else looks good. Heart has four working chambers, brain is where it's supposed to be, there's a stomach and kidneys, and I saw hands and feet moving around. There is a small concern about the umbilical cord placement. My doctor is not very worried and there's nothing I can do about it, so I'm not going to dwell on it. We'll probably do another big ultrasound sooner than normal to check on the baby's growth. I'm 19 weeks and he is measuring 20 weeks so it seems like everything is just fine!
K asked me how I felt about having another boy. I'm delighted. I would be just as delighted if we had found out it was a girl. When I found out S was a boy, I was a little nervous because I didn't know what to do with a boy. I think I would have felt nervous about a girl, but found my pacing quickly again. But, I get to keep making sound effects for everything and fart noises and getting button up shirts and itty bitty pants with animals on the butts. One of my friends said we will need to schedule regular girls night outs and I wholeheartedly agree. There is going to be a lot of testosterone and noise in my house!
I'm due on 12/19 but I'm hoping for a little bit of an earlier arrival. I know my baby boy will always battle people calling him a Christmas baby since he'll have a December birthday, but I can fight for him for awhile to not get Christmas themed stuff for his birthday or too many combined presents and that kind of thing. But it would be a tiny bit easier if he was born closer to the beginning of the month. We'll see. And my mom is also a December baby so she'll commiserate with him if he needs it.
We're having a boy!
K and I were able to drop S off and then had enough time to get something quick to eat before going to the doctor. We stopped at a little coffee shop and I had an almond latte and a breakfast taco and it made me way happier than is reasonable. Almond is my favorite everything and ever since Starbucks stopped carrying it, I honestly haven't found a good replacement drink. So my almond latte was delicious. And it was nice to talk to the couple that runs the coffee shop. I could see me and K having a little place like that someday maybe.
Then, the ultrasound! The sonographer asked us if we wanted to know the gender before she started and we said we did. I'm glad we did want to know because when the baby popped up on the screen, it was immediately apparent it was a boy! Everything else looks good. Heart has four working chambers, brain is where it's supposed to be, there's a stomach and kidneys, and I saw hands and feet moving around. There is a small concern about the umbilical cord placement. My doctor is not very worried and there's nothing I can do about it, so I'm not going to dwell on it. We'll probably do another big ultrasound sooner than normal to check on the baby's growth. I'm 19 weeks and he is measuring 20 weeks so it seems like everything is just fine!
K asked me how I felt about having another boy. I'm delighted. I would be just as delighted if we had found out it was a girl. When I found out S was a boy, I was a little nervous because I didn't know what to do with a boy. I think I would have felt nervous about a girl, but found my pacing quickly again. But, I get to keep making sound effects for everything and fart noises and getting button up shirts and itty bitty pants with animals on the butts. One of my friends said we will need to schedule regular girls night outs and I wholeheartedly agree. There is going to be a lot of testosterone and noise in my house!
I'm due on 12/19 but I'm hoping for a little bit of an earlier arrival. I know my baby boy will always battle people calling him a Christmas baby since he'll have a December birthday, but I can fight for him for awhile to not get Christmas themed stuff for his birthday or too many combined presents and that kind of thing. But it would be a tiny bit easier if he was born closer to the beginning of the month. We'll see. And my mom is also a December baby so she'll commiserate with him if he needs it.
We're having a boy!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
I went to my parent's house to watch the commercials during the Super Bowl. To be honest, I know a fair amount about football. I just don't care about it at all. I don't want S playing it because there is literally a national fund for paralyzed high school football players. That scares the crap out of me. A freak accident can happen at any time, but it's not as much of a FREAK accident if there's a national fund already set up to support victims. Basketball, soccer, track, golf, karate, whatever else he wants is totally fine by me. Except wrestling. Same exact issue.
Anyway, K had to work and S and I loaded up the car and went over to my parent's house and ate too much yummy food and played and talked and laughed and watched some tv. And the thing that was really great to me was watching my parents interact with S. They love him to pieces and he clearly adores them as well. He's a really smart little kid and he surprises my parents with the way he plays with toys sometimes. It's great.
I love my family very much. I feel really lucky to be able to see my parents pretty much whenever I want to and I'm hoping to eventually get to know K's family in a way that allows the same kind of interactions.
Good times, good times.
Anyway, K had to work and S and I loaded up the car and went over to my parent's house and ate too much yummy food and played and talked and laughed and watched some tv. And the thing that was really great to me was watching my parents interact with S. They love him to pieces and he clearly adores them as well. He's a really smart little kid and he surprises my parents with the way he plays with toys sometimes. It's great.
I love my family very much. I feel really lucky to be able to see my parents pretty much whenever I want to and I'm hoping to eventually get to know K's family in a way that allows the same kind of interactions.
Good times, good times.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
my snoring husband
Four years ago this month, I moved to San Antonio. Sometimes I still wonder if that was the best thing to do, but at the time with the information I had it was. I have no idea how my life would be different if I had stayed in Riverside for even just one more semester. I'm pretty sure that there wouldn't be a snoring Ki in the next room right now and that's a good enough reason to have moved.
After Christmas that year that I arrived in San Antonio with all of my earthly possessions, I called a few Starbucks to see about transferring and starting to work. I was getting bored and I was ready to explore San Antonio a bit and meet people who I wasn't related to. After a few calls I ended up with an interview that scared the crap out of me. The store manager asked so many questions that I felt like I shouldn't even be working at Starbucks anymore. Then he called later that day and asked if I could take a shift the next day. I sure could! He tossed me keys and gave me a temporary alarm code and I figured my job situation was taken care of at least.
When I was initially thinking about working, I decided to not get involved with anyone in any kind of personal way. My last store was a big drama filled mess and I wanted to avoid being in that kind of situation again. This resolve lasted until I clocked in and met everyone because I was so excited to be around people that were relatively my age that it was maybe a little sad to them. Maybe not since I did get invited to join in on drinks after work pretty quickly, but still.
I remember I met Ki during my first shift but we didn't work together for very long that day. I was trying to keep everyone's names straight and I had his down because it's so unusual. We were both making cold drinks and scooping ice when he asked me if anyone had given me a hard time or asked questions about being from California. I told him I was all prepared for someone to ask if I surfed everywhere I went or whatever. He asked what I had decided to say and I told him how I'd respond with "No, actually. Are you a real cowboy though? Because I've always wanted to meet one!" He laughed and that was awesome because he's got this deep distinct laugh. I didn't know that I had just connected with my husband, but I did know I wanted to get to know this guy better.
Maybe about a month later, he came in on his day off and told me he had thought of something to tell me the day before but didn't have my number. He was wondering if he could get it so that wouldn't happen again. Honest to goodness, I've never been the girl to get picked up or really flirted with so I thought it was funny but still didn't see us as a couple anytime soon. But he had a group of people from the store and otherwise that he hung out with a lot and I was always invited by someone to join them. Between those times and working midshifts together, we realized we had quite a bit in common. It was a lot of stuff in common but in the best way, like we both love going to the movies but we have slightly different tastes. The same thing with music. There's enough overlap to make it fun but enough different that we always have something to talk about.
In March, we started spending time together just the two of us. We went to the movies and I really didn't know if it was a date or not but I was looking forward to it. We had worked together that day and I changed in the bathroom. He had also brought a change of clothes so that was a good sign... We paid for ourselves but he let me pick the movie. I was pretty much decided and then he said if I wanted to pick a crappy movie we could make out the whole time and that would be fine with him. We just saw a movie though and sat and talked for so long after the movie ended that it actually started again while we were still in the theater. We left and met up with the usual crowd for a drink or two before calling it a night.
We started talking on the phone a lot and maybe the next week or week after that decided to hang out again just one on one. We were both short on money and I asked him if it was okay if we went down town and just walked around. I figured since he grew up here he could show me things I didn't know about yet and I asked him if that was too cheesy. He actually really liked the idea so we set it up. When we initially met up, I asked him if he had plans or if he needed to be home at a specific time. He said the only plan he had was to kiss me before we said goodbye but he didn't need to be home at any particular time. I have a sweet smooth talker. I had such a good time that afternoon! Even when we had to walk for an extra hour because we couldn't remember exactly how to get back where we had parked. We stopped and had dinner on the way back to his place, and true to his word, he kissed me in the parking lot before I went home.
At the beginning of May, we sat in the parking lot of the bar we always went to and had our "define the relationship" or DTR talk. He told me he wanted to make sure we were on the same page and he wanted to know how I felt about him because he knew how he felt about me and other things that made my heart stop beating for a moment because I was crazy about him and suddenly terrified he was done with me. I said since he brought it up, he should go first. He told me he liked me and had a good time with me and wanted to keep his options open and see how things went. Since he was holding my hand during this entire speech, I knew we actually were on the same page. I told him I'd keep my options open too and he wasn't really okay with that. I asked him if there was anyone else he was interested in or talking to and he said no and it was the same for me so I suggested we just be exclusive.
We weren't supposed to be dating though because we worked together and I was a shift supervisor and he was a barista. We just kept it quiet and I don't think everyone knew for at least the first few months. I think because of that, our store manager didn't really have a problem with it. I eventually got another job and we tried to pretend that we had just started dating but no one believed us. It didn't really matter to us though, we were just happy together.
It hasn't been a picture perfect romance by any means. We almost broke up two different times during the first year we were dating. Those two situations are things we worked very hard to get through together and I'm glad we did. No one would have blamed us if we had just broken up. But here we are, married for three months on Friday and coming up on the four year anniversaries of meeting, getting to know each other, and dating.
We've lived together for about a year and a half or something close to that kind of. We were seriously talking about getting married October 2010. When I found out I was pregnant, I was nervous about telling him but not because I thought he'd leave or anything. Just because it really wasn't in the current set of plans and I didn't know how we could take it on and be good at it. He reassured me we'd be fine without me even having to voice my fears within five minutes of me telling him we were having a baby. I know most girls want a big to do proposal with a pretty ring and everything, but I like our story. Curled up together, him rubbing my back as he said he really wanted the three of us to have the same last name from the very beginning and September would be a good month to get married so it would be a separate event from finding out about the baby. We've made mistakes and tried to make them right as we learn from them in an effort to not repeat them later on down the road. And I like us as a team. It's such a fantastic feeling and fact to have him as my family.
I wish I already had a college degree. But I don't exactly regret moving to San Antonio four years ago. I would have missed out on the love of my life and I can't help but think everything happens for a reason. I think God can make your life choices have meaning even if it just takes awhile to get there. Someone once told me that praying to find out where God wants you to be is a waste of time because He doesn't really care. He just wants you to live your life as best you can for Him regardless of where you are. I'm not saying that's what I've done, but I see how God has met me where I'm at to do something miraculous.
I love my snoring husband very much and wouldn't trade him or our experiences for anything.
After Christmas that year that I arrived in San Antonio with all of my earthly possessions, I called a few Starbucks to see about transferring and starting to work. I was getting bored and I was ready to explore San Antonio a bit and meet people who I wasn't related to. After a few calls I ended up with an interview that scared the crap out of me. The store manager asked so many questions that I felt like I shouldn't even be working at Starbucks anymore. Then he called later that day and asked if I could take a shift the next day. I sure could! He tossed me keys and gave me a temporary alarm code and I figured my job situation was taken care of at least.
When I was initially thinking about working, I decided to not get involved with anyone in any kind of personal way. My last store was a big drama filled mess and I wanted to avoid being in that kind of situation again. This resolve lasted until I clocked in and met everyone because I was so excited to be around people that were relatively my age that it was maybe a little sad to them. Maybe not since I did get invited to join in on drinks after work pretty quickly, but still.
I remember I met Ki during my first shift but we didn't work together for very long that day. I was trying to keep everyone's names straight and I had his down because it's so unusual. We were both making cold drinks and scooping ice when he asked me if anyone had given me a hard time or asked questions about being from California. I told him I was all prepared for someone to ask if I surfed everywhere I went or whatever. He asked what I had decided to say and I told him how I'd respond with "No, actually. Are you a real cowboy though? Because I've always wanted to meet one!" He laughed and that was awesome because he's got this deep distinct laugh. I didn't know that I had just connected with my husband, but I did know I wanted to get to know this guy better.
Maybe about a month later, he came in on his day off and told me he had thought of something to tell me the day before but didn't have my number. He was wondering if he could get it so that wouldn't happen again. Honest to goodness, I've never been the girl to get picked up or really flirted with so I thought it was funny but still didn't see us as a couple anytime soon. But he had a group of people from the store and otherwise that he hung out with a lot and I was always invited by someone to join them. Between those times and working midshifts together, we realized we had quite a bit in common. It was a lot of stuff in common but in the best way, like we both love going to the movies but we have slightly different tastes. The same thing with music. There's enough overlap to make it fun but enough different that we always have something to talk about.
In March, we started spending time together just the two of us. We went to the movies and I really didn't know if it was a date or not but I was looking forward to it. We had worked together that day and I changed in the bathroom. He had also brought a change of clothes so that was a good sign... We paid for ourselves but he let me pick the movie. I was pretty much decided and then he said if I wanted to pick a crappy movie we could make out the whole time and that would be fine with him. We just saw a movie though and sat and talked for so long after the movie ended that it actually started again while we were still in the theater. We left and met up with the usual crowd for a drink or two before calling it a night.
We started talking on the phone a lot and maybe the next week or week after that decided to hang out again just one on one. We were both short on money and I asked him if it was okay if we went down town and just walked around. I figured since he grew up here he could show me things I didn't know about yet and I asked him if that was too cheesy. He actually really liked the idea so we set it up. When we initially met up, I asked him if he had plans or if he needed to be home at a specific time. He said the only plan he had was to kiss me before we said goodbye but he didn't need to be home at any particular time. I have a sweet smooth talker. I had such a good time that afternoon! Even when we had to walk for an extra hour because we couldn't remember exactly how to get back where we had parked. We stopped and had dinner on the way back to his place, and true to his word, he kissed me in the parking lot before I went home.
At the beginning of May, we sat in the parking lot of the bar we always went to and had our "define the relationship" or DTR talk. He told me he wanted to make sure we were on the same page and he wanted to know how I felt about him because he knew how he felt about me and other things that made my heart stop beating for a moment because I was crazy about him and suddenly terrified he was done with me. I said since he brought it up, he should go first. He told me he liked me and had a good time with me and wanted to keep his options open and see how things went. Since he was holding my hand during this entire speech, I knew we actually were on the same page. I told him I'd keep my options open too and he wasn't really okay with that. I asked him if there was anyone else he was interested in or talking to and he said no and it was the same for me so I suggested we just be exclusive.
We weren't supposed to be dating though because we worked together and I was a shift supervisor and he was a barista. We just kept it quiet and I don't think everyone knew for at least the first few months. I think because of that, our store manager didn't really have a problem with it. I eventually got another job and we tried to pretend that we had just started dating but no one believed us. It didn't really matter to us though, we were just happy together.
It hasn't been a picture perfect romance by any means. We almost broke up two different times during the first year we were dating. Those two situations are things we worked very hard to get through together and I'm glad we did. No one would have blamed us if we had just broken up. But here we are, married for three months on Friday and coming up on the four year anniversaries of meeting, getting to know each other, and dating.
We've lived together for about a year and a half or something close to that kind of. We were seriously talking about getting married October 2010. When I found out I was pregnant, I was nervous about telling him but not because I thought he'd leave or anything. Just because it really wasn't in the current set of plans and I didn't know how we could take it on and be good at it. He reassured me we'd be fine without me even having to voice my fears within five minutes of me telling him we were having a baby. I know most girls want a big to do proposal with a pretty ring and everything, but I like our story. Curled up together, him rubbing my back as he said he really wanted the three of us to have the same last name from the very beginning and September would be a good month to get married so it would be a separate event from finding out about the baby. We've made mistakes and tried to make them right as we learn from them in an effort to not repeat them later on down the road. And I like us as a team. It's such a fantastic feeling and fact to have him as my family.
I wish I already had a college degree. But I don't exactly regret moving to San Antonio four years ago. I would have missed out on the love of my life and I can't help but think everything happens for a reason. I think God can make your life choices have meaning even if it just takes awhile to get there. Someone once told me that praying to find out where God wants you to be is a waste of time because He doesn't really care. He just wants you to live your life as best you can for Him regardless of where you are. I'm not saying that's what I've done, but I see how God has met me where I'm at to do something miraculous.
I love my snoring husband very much and wouldn't trade him or our experiences for anything.
Monday, September 14, 2009
wedding question
So here is maybe a dumb question... Does everyone have some sort of family drama unfold as they are about to get married?
Saturday, September 5, 2009
feels like I'm born again...
Usually when KLOVE plays the crap out of a song, I roll my eyes nearly every time it comes on. However, the new one by Third Day is one I cannot get enough of. The harmonies that come in after the first verse are AMAZING and the whole song is just well written. It's constantly stuck in my head and not in a bad way at all. I do have to say that KLOVE needs more Need To Breathe though because I heard another of their songs on Air 1 (LOVE having the apps on my iPhone!) and it was truly fantastic as well. Man, I wish more Christian music just hit the spot like those two songs!
It was raining this evening. It was like a good California rain. Texas rain usually means the sky opens up and pours everything down and empties itself out in 20 minutes or less. Tonight, it rained steadily but not crazy hard, for several hours. I miss that. I love listening to the rain. I like it when the air cools down and you can crack open a window or even sit outside and just soak it all in. The smells, the sounds, the feeling... I have come to enjoy the thunder and lightening, but sometimes I still long for those days where it would just rain all day long.
Strangely when I find myself in a new situation, I also find myself missing Riverside. I think it's that I chose to live there and I got to know sections of it pretty well and when I'm faced with something especially challenging, I just want to be back where I knew everything. It's not accurate at all. If I had loved it so much, I wouldn't have picked up and moved as suddenly as I did. And I would be back there now instead of having lived here in San Antonio for closer to four years now than three. Occasionally I'll be frustrated and I'll think to myself that if I were in Riverside, I would go get some hot and sour soup from this place or I'd go claim a couch at that coffee shop and journal the night away or I could be in Newport Beach in an hour or less. I'll think about the smell of orange blossoms in the spring or the lack of humidity. But when it comes down to it, I'm glad I live in San Antonio.
I had a very rough day yesterday. I think I basically handled everything okay but it's left me a little rattled and for that reason I don't want to go into a lot of details. I am officially that lady who says "What's your name, I'm going to write a strongly worded letter!" but you know what, if it works it works! At the end of the day, the thing I wanted the most and just needed was to be with my family. Because I live in San Antonio, all it took was a quick phone call and a twenty minute drive. I got to be spoiled with a good dinner and laugh with my niece and nephew and have my mom and dad remind me that they love me very much. I'm 29, but there are times when I just want my mom...
Tonight, I went to K's mom's house for dinner. She showed me how to make one of my favorite dishes that K and his family had introduced to me. His two sisters and niece were all there and we had an amazing dinner and then talked for HOURS in the living room. We laughed so hard there were tears. And I told them about my day and suddenly realized that along with my lovely mother-in-law, I now have two big sisters and a fairly fearless niece. I don't have to do anything alone if I don't want to. I have this huge group of strong people who love me that I can call on for help and I know that someone will always come through.
Between my two evenings spent with family, I feel like I can relax. I don't have to be superwoman, I can draw on the strength of all these great people around me who love me and would kick anyone's ass that needed to be taught a lesson without hesitation.
I think I've finally learned to let K take care of me and be able to tell him what I need. He's amazing and I can't imagine putting together anyone else more perfect to go through the rest of my life with. I just hadn't stopped to acknowledge that he's not the only one. I forget sometimes that my parents would fight tirelessly given any cause involving me. My two soon to be sisters and niece were talking about different scenarios regarding protecting me or standing up for me and I really almost started crying because it was such a fantastic relief! I hadn't really thought about it, but of course I would absolutely do the same for any of them.
As much as I would like to live in a spot that didn't give me crazy allergies and maybe had four seasons or at the very least milder summers, I think I'll be staying in San Antonio for quite some time. I would be crazy to give up this proximity to my family. My sister will always be available for late night texting, but I wouldn't be able to get a hug on a regular basis if I was in a different time zone.
I am a girl who is full of joy and love because of my two amazing families. Who could ask for more?
It was raining this evening. It was like a good California rain. Texas rain usually means the sky opens up and pours everything down and empties itself out in 20 minutes or less. Tonight, it rained steadily but not crazy hard, for several hours. I miss that. I love listening to the rain. I like it when the air cools down and you can crack open a window or even sit outside and just soak it all in. The smells, the sounds, the feeling... I have come to enjoy the thunder and lightening, but sometimes I still long for those days where it would just rain all day long.
Strangely when I find myself in a new situation, I also find myself missing Riverside. I think it's that I chose to live there and I got to know sections of it pretty well and when I'm faced with something especially challenging, I just want to be back where I knew everything. It's not accurate at all. If I had loved it so much, I wouldn't have picked up and moved as suddenly as I did. And I would be back there now instead of having lived here in San Antonio for closer to four years now than three. Occasionally I'll be frustrated and I'll think to myself that if I were in Riverside, I would go get some hot and sour soup from this place or I'd go claim a couch at that coffee shop and journal the night away or I could be in Newport Beach in an hour or less. I'll think about the smell of orange blossoms in the spring or the lack of humidity. But when it comes down to it, I'm glad I live in San Antonio.
I had a very rough day yesterday. I think I basically handled everything okay but it's left me a little rattled and for that reason I don't want to go into a lot of details. I am officially that lady who says "What's your name, I'm going to write a strongly worded letter!" but you know what, if it works it works! At the end of the day, the thing I wanted the most and just needed was to be with my family. Because I live in San Antonio, all it took was a quick phone call and a twenty minute drive. I got to be spoiled with a good dinner and laugh with my niece and nephew and have my mom and dad remind me that they love me very much. I'm 29, but there are times when I just want my mom...
Tonight, I went to K's mom's house for dinner. She showed me how to make one of my favorite dishes that K and his family had introduced to me. His two sisters and niece were all there and we had an amazing dinner and then talked for HOURS in the living room. We laughed so hard there were tears. And I told them about my day and suddenly realized that along with my lovely mother-in-law, I now have two big sisters and a fairly fearless niece. I don't have to do anything alone if I don't want to. I have this huge group of strong people who love me that I can call on for help and I know that someone will always come through.
Between my two evenings spent with family, I feel like I can relax. I don't have to be superwoman, I can draw on the strength of all these great people around me who love me and would kick anyone's ass that needed to be taught a lesson without hesitation.
I think I've finally learned to let K take care of me and be able to tell him what I need. He's amazing and I can't imagine putting together anyone else more perfect to go through the rest of my life with. I just hadn't stopped to acknowledge that he's not the only one. I forget sometimes that my parents would fight tirelessly given any cause involving me. My two soon to be sisters and niece were talking about different scenarios regarding protecting me or standing up for me and I really almost started crying because it was such a fantastic relief! I hadn't really thought about it, but of course I would absolutely do the same for any of them.
As much as I would like to live in a spot that didn't give me crazy allergies and maybe had four seasons or at the very least milder summers, I think I'll be staying in San Antonio for quite some time. I would be crazy to give up this proximity to my family. My sister will always be available for late night texting, but I wouldn't be able to get a hug on a regular basis if I was in a different time zone.
I am a girl who is full of joy and love because of my two amazing families. Who could ask for more?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
the munchkins and the baby
Today was a really lovely day with my family. K had to work so that was a bummer but he'll be around everyone again soon I'm sure. He really likes my family which is awesome because it definitely makes things pretty easy. I like his family very much as well. That's how I always pictured falling in love with someone... Building a relationship with them plus getting a bonus family to participate in and enjoy. I'm a very lucky girl to have stumbled upon it all.
Usually I refer to my sister's kids as "the babies" but since there is a brand new one, I felt like I needed a new nickname. I asked them if it was alright, so the kid approved terminology is that the two oldest are now "the munchkins" and the baby is "the baby." The munchkins and I had a terrific day of playing all sorts of games. I got to hold the baby for a little bit, but I didn't want to hog her, especially on Father's Day. She needed some Papa time.
We played outside on this tire swing my parents have and invented a new game that is probably terrifying to both my parents and my sister and brother-in-law. But there's a strict rule. If at any time they feel nervous or just need to stop, they just say "Auntie Auntie" and I step right in. We practice each time before it starts really going. See this swing was much higher above the ground until my parents saw my oldest niece "doing tricks" and realized if she were to fall she would most assuredly break something. It's a lot lower now but that means I can't push her as high up in the air as she would like to go. So instead, I twirl her around and around until the rope gets wound up pretty tightly and then give her a mighty push in the opposite direction and let the rope take over. My niece LOVES this. We must have done it 4 times in a row and then she hopped off and ran right up the porch stairs back inside to get water. Later my nephew wanted to try, and after one time around, I helped him get back on the ground where he promptly fell over from being so dizzy. I think that's more typical reaction to something like that.
Later, we played hide and seek. During spring break when I took care of them, we played and I stayed hidden until I heard one of them suggest I had gone outside and then I'd either sneak up behind them or burst out of my hiding spot to make sure everyone was in the same place at the same time. My niece hid first today. She ran into a room and slammed the door behind her. Then when I was still giving her some time (who knows, maybe she'd get under the bed or something...), it was apparently too much time because she kept opening the door to check to see if I was coming. When it was my turn to hide, I ran down the hallway and hid behind a door that was already slightly open. I heard the two kids running down the hallway looking for me, and they even came into the room where I was but didn't see me. They ran back down the hallway, and then when they came back again, I heard one of them say "Her is MAGIC." When they ran back into the living room, my dad told them which direction I had gone. By then I had snuck out to the edge of the hallway and just waited for their heads to poke around the corner and said "Boo!" as soon as they did. Much screaming happened and then even more laughter.
My niece has hands down the best laugh. She's very girly and tries to be as refined as a five year old girl can be sometimes. She prefers wearing her hair down and loves to show me her shoes and other things about her outfit. Her laugh is raucous and it makes me laugh every single time. It's this huge explosion from such a little girl and definitely not dainty or polished like she wants to be. I hope it never changes. It makes me laugh just thinking about hearing it.
I love playing with my nephew because he has a bit of hesitant nature when it comes to trying all the dare devil things my niece comes up with. We are definitely kindred spirits in that regard. I like to make sure he knows that he can have as much time as he wants to decide if he wants to try jumping off the steps or twirling around like a mad man in the swing. Plus that kid can relate any activity to something the Transformers would do and how can you not love that?
The baby is a teeny tiny baby that is completely adorable and I am thrilled to get to build this kind of relationship with at some point probably after she's able to hold her head up on her own. Or maybe even just keeps her eyes more open than closed. She wasn't even due to be born until next Sunday but she's just fantastic and even came with fingernails. Babies are completely amazing. I could hold her all day long and not get tired of it. Of course I'm not nursing her or being woken up at odd hours of the night. I'll still stick with my thinking that she is completely beautiful and I can't wait to play hide and seek with her too.
All in all, it was a truly great day. Now for some laundry folding and bed time!
Usually I refer to my sister's kids as "the babies" but since there is a brand new one, I felt like I needed a new nickname. I asked them if it was alright, so the kid approved terminology is that the two oldest are now "the munchkins" and the baby is "the baby." The munchkins and I had a terrific day of playing all sorts of games. I got to hold the baby for a little bit, but I didn't want to hog her, especially on Father's Day. She needed some Papa time.
We played outside on this tire swing my parents have and invented a new game that is probably terrifying to both my parents and my sister and brother-in-law. But there's a strict rule. If at any time they feel nervous or just need to stop, they just say "Auntie Auntie" and I step right in. We practice each time before it starts really going. See this swing was much higher above the ground until my parents saw my oldest niece "doing tricks" and realized if she were to fall she would most assuredly break something. It's a lot lower now but that means I can't push her as high up in the air as she would like to go. So instead, I twirl her around and around until the rope gets wound up pretty tightly and then give her a mighty push in the opposite direction and let the rope take over. My niece LOVES this. We must have done it 4 times in a row and then she hopped off and ran right up the porch stairs back inside to get water. Later my nephew wanted to try, and after one time around, I helped him get back on the ground where he promptly fell over from being so dizzy. I think that's more typical reaction to something like that.
Later, we played hide and seek. During spring break when I took care of them, we played and I stayed hidden until I heard one of them suggest I had gone outside and then I'd either sneak up behind them or burst out of my hiding spot to make sure everyone was in the same place at the same time. My niece hid first today. She ran into a room and slammed the door behind her. Then when I was still giving her some time (who knows, maybe she'd get under the bed or something...), it was apparently too much time because she kept opening the door to check to see if I was coming. When it was my turn to hide, I ran down the hallway and hid behind a door that was already slightly open. I heard the two kids running down the hallway looking for me, and they even came into the room where I was but didn't see me. They ran back down the hallway, and then when they came back again, I heard one of them say "Her is MAGIC." When they ran back into the living room, my dad told them which direction I had gone. By then I had snuck out to the edge of the hallway and just waited for their heads to poke around the corner and said "Boo!" as soon as they did. Much screaming happened and then even more laughter.
My niece has hands down the best laugh. She's very girly and tries to be as refined as a five year old girl can be sometimes. She prefers wearing her hair down and loves to show me her shoes and other things about her outfit. Her laugh is raucous and it makes me laugh every single time. It's this huge explosion from such a little girl and definitely not dainty or polished like she wants to be. I hope it never changes. It makes me laugh just thinking about hearing it.
I love playing with my nephew because he has a bit of hesitant nature when it comes to trying all the dare devil things my niece comes up with. We are definitely kindred spirits in that regard. I like to make sure he knows that he can have as much time as he wants to decide if he wants to try jumping off the steps or twirling around like a mad man in the swing. Plus that kid can relate any activity to something the Transformers would do and how can you not love that?
The baby is a teeny tiny baby that is completely adorable and I am thrilled to get to build this kind of relationship with at some point probably after she's able to hold her head up on her own. Or maybe even just keeps her eyes more open than closed. She wasn't even due to be born until next Sunday but she's just fantastic and even came with fingernails. Babies are completely amazing. I could hold her all day long and not get tired of it. Of course I'm not nursing her or being woken up at odd hours of the night. I'll still stick with my thinking that she is completely beautiful and I can't wait to play hide and seek with her too.
All in all, it was a truly great day. Now for some laundry folding and bed time!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
family family family
My sister has three kids now. That's kind of pleasantly insane to me. Auntie and Baby Z Days just got a lot more intense, but also cuter which I didn't really think was possible.
My latest niece was born on Tuesday night and she is adorable! She is about three weeks early and she is super tiny. But she came with fingernails and eyelashes and everything! I've heard from a few family members that she reminds them of me when I was first born. I had my mom take a picture of us face by face for comparison.
I adore my nieces and nephew and have tremendous fun doing things like baking cupcakes and knowing that after I hop them up on sugar they're just going home. I'm thrilled to think of things to do with three kids now. Well, in a few years anyway. In the meantime, I owe my nephew a trip to the movies and I think my oldest niece would like to go swimming or at the very least a long trip to some sort of playground.
The part where people seem kind of troubled by the fact the big things in my life right now are working in food service, building my Mary Kay business, and waiting for college acceptance for the fall and that's it is a little hard. The part where people feel the need to comfort me that I'm not the one having kids is a little hard. I'm okay with that.I am dating someone I love deeply and we are just not in a big rush for all the next steps ahead of us. We will get there and it will be beautiful and amazing. Maybe at some point I'll be in the hospital in labor and someone will message my sister and have no regard for what she's doing or where she's at and only ask questions about me. You never know. In the meantime, asking when it is I'm going to have kids or finally get married or whether or not it's weird that my younger sister has kids and I don't isn't really helpful.
I'm 28 and not where I thought I'd be when I was 28. But it's been a good journey to get to this point and for the most part I'm pretty happy. The other thing is that I have made all the decisions I've made up to this point only with the exact information I had at the time. Maybe if I knew then what I know now some choices would have been different, but I cannot apologize for that now nor can I go back and change anything. It doesn't make any sense for me to be hard on myself, only to keep my eyes open and use all the things I've learned to benefit me as I make decisions now.
So, since I have a few days off this week and my sister is alright with it, I'm going to go hang out with all three of the kids who made me an Auntie. I plan on marveling over the teeniest baby's delicate features and squeaks and grunts, watching Transformers and building cars and trucks out of legos and ridiculous numbers of wheels with my nephew, and dancing with my oldest niece and talking about princesses and whether or not she's old enough to buy her own pink sparkle lip gloss.
And taking pictures. Lots of pictures. :)
My latest niece was born on Tuesday night and she is adorable! She is about three weeks early and she is super tiny. But she came with fingernails and eyelashes and everything! I've heard from a few family members that she reminds them of me when I was first born. I had my mom take a picture of us face by face for comparison.
I adore my nieces and nephew and have tremendous fun doing things like baking cupcakes and knowing that after I hop them up on sugar they're just going home. I'm thrilled to think of things to do with three kids now. Well, in a few years anyway. In the meantime, I owe my nephew a trip to the movies and I think my oldest niece would like to go swimming or at the very least a long trip to some sort of playground.
The part where people seem kind of troubled by the fact the big things in my life right now are working in food service, building my Mary Kay business, and waiting for college acceptance for the fall and that's it is a little hard. The part where people feel the need to comfort me that I'm not the one having kids is a little hard. I'm okay with that.I am dating someone I love deeply and we are just not in a big rush for all the next steps ahead of us. We will get there and it will be beautiful and amazing. Maybe at some point I'll be in the hospital in labor and someone will message my sister and have no regard for what she's doing or where she's at and only ask questions about me. You never know. In the meantime, asking when it is I'm going to have kids or finally get married or whether or not it's weird that my younger sister has kids and I don't isn't really helpful.
I'm 28 and not where I thought I'd be when I was 28. But it's been a good journey to get to this point and for the most part I'm pretty happy. The other thing is that I have made all the decisions I've made up to this point only with the exact information I had at the time. Maybe if I knew then what I know now some choices would have been different, but I cannot apologize for that now nor can I go back and change anything. It doesn't make any sense for me to be hard on myself, only to keep my eyes open and use all the things I've learned to benefit me as I make decisions now.
So, since I have a few days off this week and my sister is alright with it, I'm going to go hang out with all three of the kids who made me an Auntie. I plan on marveling over the teeniest baby's delicate features and squeaks and grunts, watching Transformers and building cars and trucks out of legos and ridiculous numbers of wheels with my nephew, and dancing with my oldest niece and talking about princesses and whether or not she's old enough to buy her own pink sparkle lip gloss.
And taking pictures. Lots of pictures. :)
Thursday, March 19, 2009
nephew break
And for a break from the serious:
My nephew went into my sister's room last night saying he couldn't sleep because Jesus was talking too much. She sent him back to bed and when he crawled back into bed, she heard his prayer bear say "Now I lay me down to sleep..." He threw his hands in the air and said "SEE?!" Jesus kept talking to him because he kept rolling over onto the prayer bear. My sister moved the bear to the dresser so all should be okay.
Little kid logic and explanations are the best, especially when you let them tell you the entire story and answer all your questions.
My nephew went into my sister's room last night saying he couldn't sleep because Jesus was talking too much. She sent him back to bed and when he crawled back into bed, she heard his prayer bear say "Now I lay me down to sleep..." He threw his hands in the air and said "SEE?!" Jesus kept talking to him because he kept rolling over onto the prayer bear. My sister moved the bear to the dresser so all should be okay.
Little kid logic and explanations are the best, especially when you let them tell you the entire story and answer all your questions.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
super auntie!
This week I am watching the babies. I will always refer to them as "the babies" even though they are now five and four and would be indignant to hear themselves referred to as anything besides "kids" or basically not babies.
I am used to getting up early and having a full day but I am not used to having days as quite as full as these past few have been. My niece and nephew are very good at playing with each other and entertaining themselves but since I'm here, they want new and exciting things to do. So far I believe I have met the challenge. There has been fort building, bike riding, backyard lap running, book reading, movie watching, hiding and seeking, thank you note writing, picture drawing, back rubs, and lots and lots and lots of laughter. This has equaled out to me being EXHAUSTED at the end of the day.
So far, I think my favorite thing that happened was yesterday. In the morning, we made a ginormous fort and they had tons of fun hiding out in it with their stuffed animals. Then I realized it was still kind of cool outside and it would be a perfect time to get some bike riding in so we went off to do that. I took them to one of the courts so they could ride around and I wouldn't have to run so much. My niece likes to go super fast (and luckily laughs her head off when she falls) and my nephew is still having a little trouble understanding that if he pedals backwards he's hitting the brakes. So we're riding and riding and they both are getting tired so we start heading back to the house. My niece says to me "Auntie! After we get back home, you can put us back in our cage!" Of course her little voice echoed through the neighborhood. I tried to say just as loudly that it was a FORT not a cage, but mostly I'm hoping everyone was just at work.
I keep telling them I have super powers. We played Hide and Seek yesterday and they both literally walked right past me in two different rounds so I told them obviously I can turn invisible. And today I made them toad in a hole and I think that may have just sealed the deal. Who knew an egg cooked in the middle of a piece of bread would be such a big deal?
I am used to getting up early and having a full day but I am not used to having days as quite as full as these past few have been. My niece and nephew are very good at playing with each other and entertaining themselves but since I'm here, they want new and exciting things to do. So far I believe I have met the challenge. There has been fort building, bike riding, backyard lap running, book reading, movie watching, hiding and seeking, thank you note writing, picture drawing, back rubs, and lots and lots and lots of laughter. This has equaled out to me being EXHAUSTED at the end of the day.
So far, I think my favorite thing that happened was yesterday. In the morning, we made a ginormous fort and they had tons of fun hiding out in it with their stuffed animals. Then I realized it was still kind of cool outside and it would be a perfect time to get some bike riding in so we went off to do that. I took them to one of the courts so they could ride around and I wouldn't have to run so much. My niece likes to go super fast (and luckily laughs her head off when she falls) and my nephew is still having a little trouble understanding that if he pedals backwards he's hitting the brakes. So we're riding and riding and they both are getting tired so we start heading back to the house. My niece says to me "Auntie! After we get back home, you can put us back in our cage!" Of course her little voice echoed through the neighborhood. I tried to say just as loudly that it was a FORT not a cage, but mostly I'm hoping everyone was just at work.
I keep telling them I have super powers. We played Hide and Seek yesterday and they both literally walked right past me in two different rounds so I told them obviously I can turn invisible. And today I made them toad in a hole and I think that may have just sealed the deal. Who knew an egg cooked in the middle of a piece of bread would be such a big deal?
Thursday, March 5, 2009
spring break!
Next week is my Spring Break and it is also the babies' Spring Break. My sister and I somehow struck a deal involving my mom where I will go to my parent's house every day and she will bring the my niece and nephew and the three of us will have grand adventures Monday through Friday. Am I insane? Yes. Do I anticipate being exhausted at the end of each day? Yes. Am I fantastically excited? Yes I am.
I adore those two and I am excited to take a gazillion pictures and have even more stories at the end of the week. I have a list of things we can do and hopefully pieces of it are just new enough to them that they will start to call me Super Auntie. Okay, maybe not really, but I will say that when I get my doctorate some day, I will be like Dr. Jill Biden and have no qualms about preferring people call me Dr. Maybe they will call me Dr. Auntie.
I have baked cupcakes with them a couple of times and really, once was enough to know this is not going to be included on my list of possible activities. It is enough to suddenly be in charge of a 5 year old and 4 year old for a week, it is another to willingly subject yourself to the sugar highs of a 5 and 4 year old. My niece asked me on Saturday if we could make cupcakes. This is how the rest of the conversation went:
"No, I don't think we can make cupcakes. We'll see, but what if we make pizza from scratch one day?"
"Scratch pizza? What's that?"
"Pizza FROM scratch. It means you start with nothing and make something! We'll make the dough and then put the sauce and cheese on top. What do you think?"
"Auntie, how do you know how to do that?"
"Because I have a list of magic recipes."
Immediately turning to my sister...
"Mommy! Auntie said we can make scratch pizza because she has MAGIC POWERS!"
It truly will be a fantastic week. :)
I adore those two and I am excited to take a gazillion pictures and have even more stories at the end of the week. I have a list of things we can do and hopefully pieces of it are just new enough to them that they will start to call me Super Auntie. Okay, maybe not really, but I will say that when I get my doctorate some day, I will be like Dr. Jill Biden and have no qualms about preferring people call me Dr. Maybe they will call me Dr. Auntie.
I have baked cupcakes with them a couple of times and really, once was enough to know this is not going to be included on my list of possible activities. It is enough to suddenly be in charge of a 5 year old and 4 year old for a week, it is another to willingly subject yourself to the sugar highs of a 5 and 4 year old. My niece asked me on Saturday if we could make cupcakes. This is how the rest of the conversation went:
"No, I don't think we can make cupcakes. We'll see, but what if we make pizza from scratch one day?"
"Scratch pizza? What's that?"
"Pizza FROM scratch. It means you start with nothing and make something! We'll make the dough and then put the sauce and cheese on top. What do you think?"
"Auntie, how do you know how to do that?"
"Because I have a list of magic recipes."
Immediately turning to my sister...
"Mommy! Auntie said we can make scratch pizza because she has MAGIC POWERS!"
It truly will be a fantastic week. :)
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
merry christmas!
I hope everyone had a great one! I really did. K and I spent a good amount of time with my family yesterday and then his family today. We both had to abandon previous years traditions, but I think it was well worth the sacrifice. I know I had a terrific time with him and both groups of people. I don't know how to do it without making it some sort of big deal, but I would really like at least my parents to meet his mom and his sisters. I think it would be kind of nice.
K has taken really good care of me all month. I was sick for literally two weeks which sucked the life out of my motivation as well. He took care of me while I was sick, but also in helping me get presents for his family and spending time with my family and being sweet to my niece and nephew. He's amazing and I love him more than ever.
It was nice being with my family this year. My parents upheld the traditions of lighting candles and listening to Silent Night before we opened presents. My dad read the Christmas story from the Bible and my niece explained to us what happened. She was really concerned though that she can't see Jesus and was wondering where He lives now.
I am very spoiled. I got some cool new cooking gadgets and some yoga stuff and I'm really looking forward to trying it all out very soon. If anyone has any crock pot recipes, please send them my way! K's sister gave me a cd I really wanted and had no idea when I'd be able to get. I need to burn her a copy and listen to it thoroughly soon.
All in all, it was a really terrific couple of days and I can't really think of any way that either day could have been better. My family is amazing, my boyfriend is incredible, and his family is so much fun that my head hurts a little from all the smiling. I'm going to go snuggle down into my bed and watch The West Wing. That's right, my all time favorite show now lives in my apartment. At least the first 22 episodes of it do anyway. :)
Merry Christmas.
K has taken really good care of me all month. I was sick for literally two weeks which sucked the life out of my motivation as well. He took care of me while I was sick, but also in helping me get presents for his family and spending time with my family and being sweet to my niece and nephew. He's amazing and I love him more than ever.
It was nice being with my family this year. My parents upheld the traditions of lighting candles and listening to Silent Night before we opened presents. My dad read the Christmas story from the Bible and my niece explained to us what happened. She was really concerned though that she can't see Jesus and was wondering where He lives now.
I am very spoiled. I got some cool new cooking gadgets and some yoga stuff and I'm really looking forward to trying it all out very soon. If anyone has any crock pot recipes, please send them my way! K's sister gave me a cd I really wanted and had no idea when I'd be able to get. I need to burn her a copy and listen to it thoroughly soon.
All in all, it was a really terrific couple of days and I can't really think of any way that either day could have been better. My family is amazing, my boyfriend is incredible, and his family is so much fun that my head hurts a little from all the smiling. I'm going to go snuggle down into my bed and watch The West Wing. That's right, my all time favorite show now lives in my apartment. At least the first 22 episodes of it do anyway. :)
Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
my niece makes me laugh a lot
I spent some time with the babies this weekend.
My niece told me she wants to come over to my house to make cupcakes.
I asked her what kind she would like to make.
"Auntie, I want pink and purple ones."
"Hmm, I'm not sure if I know how to make purple ones, sweetie."
"It's easy! You mix them and color them and put them in the oven for fifteen minutes!" That's it! So I want to make pink ones and purple ones. It just takes fifteen minutes."
I have a few days to figure out how to make purple ones. It might take longer to figure out how a three year old knows it takes fifteen minutes in the oven to make cupcakes.
My niece told me she wants to come over to my house to make cupcakes.
I asked her what kind she would like to make.
"Auntie, I want pink and purple ones."
"Hmm, I'm not sure if I know how to make purple ones, sweetie."
"It's easy! You mix them and color them and put them in the oven for fifteen minutes!" That's it! So I want to make pink ones and purple ones. It just takes fifteen minutes."
I have a few days to figure out how to make purple ones. It might take longer to figure out how a three year old knows it takes fifteen minutes in the oven to make cupcakes.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
of utterly no consequence
Something that I love to do with K is swap stories of stuff we did when we were kids or just things from when we were growing up. We have a gazillion similar interests and whatnot, but then there are a lot of things that we've just always done a certain way because that's how it was when we were kids.
This weekend, we got to finally spend some quality time together on Sunday. The window was 12 pm to 3:45 pm. Both of us had late nights and we decided to have breakfast together. At first, it was going to be this elaborate spread of glorious breakfast food but then we realized we'd have to make it all and then clean it all, so we just decided to go for eggs and waffles. Eggo waffles, to be exaxt.
I scrambled up the eggs and then got the appropriate condiments out for the waffles. Butter, powdered sugar, syrup, and peanut butter. Never in my life have I used all of these at the same time, but I'm a big fan of having condiment options. I prefer to have both ketchup and ranch for my french fries if at all possible so I can alternate if I feel so inclined.
Sunday I was thinking about how when I was a little kid, sometimes I'd eat breakfast with my dad before he'd go to work. He'd make us waffles with peanut butter and syrup with milk to drink. I would eat the whole waffle without licking all the peanut butter off of my fork so I had (what seemed like) a giant ball of peanut butter to eat at the very end.
K pretty much had only ever had butter and syrup on his waffles. He gamely tried butter and powdered sugar and found it to be the delight I insisted it would be. And he tried a bite of my waffle with peanut butter and syrup. He liked that too.
When I was telling him that you can eat peanut butter on your pancakes too, I realized, maybe my dad just REALLY LOVES peanut butter.
This weekend, we got to finally spend some quality time together on Sunday. The window was 12 pm to 3:45 pm. Both of us had late nights and we decided to have breakfast together. At first, it was going to be this elaborate spread of glorious breakfast food but then we realized we'd have to make it all and then clean it all, so we just decided to go for eggs and waffles. Eggo waffles, to be exaxt.
I scrambled up the eggs and then got the appropriate condiments out for the waffles. Butter, powdered sugar, syrup, and peanut butter. Never in my life have I used all of these at the same time, but I'm a big fan of having condiment options. I prefer to have both ketchup and ranch for my french fries if at all possible so I can alternate if I feel so inclined.
Sunday I was thinking about how when I was a little kid, sometimes I'd eat breakfast with my dad before he'd go to work. He'd make us waffles with peanut butter and syrup with milk to drink. I would eat the whole waffle without licking all the peanut butter off of my fork so I had (what seemed like) a giant ball of peanut butter to eat at the very end.
K pretty much had only ever had butter and syrup on his waffles. He gamely tried butter and powdered sugar and found it to be the delight I insisted it would be. And he tried a bite of my waffle with peanut butter and syrup. He liked that too.
When I was telling him that you can eat peanut butter on your pancakes too, I realized, maybe my dad just REALLY LOVES peanut butter.
Friday, March 30, 2007
five fun things about hanging out with my mom
1. We went to Sephora because I had gotten her a giftcard there for a very belated birthday present. Neither of us are hardcore girly girls, but we both have our moments. It was deliciously fun to show her all the stuff I like to look at when I have time to wander around Sephora.
2. She liked the Philosophy line of body wash etc as much as I do and decided we should both get some. She chose Margarita for a bubble bath in her awesomely gigantic tub and I chose Apple to have something crisp but not overwhelming to wake up to in the shower each day.
3. I can talk to her about stuff that's going on in my life and she is often impressed with how I'm handling it. This makes me feel a lot better because sometimes I am struggling with both the situation and how to go about doing something about it and it's lovely to get that kind of encouragement from someone who knows you that well.
4. P.F. Chang's. We probably should have gotten some martinis to go with our meal, but our teas were pretty good too. The new wonton they have there wasn't all that great, but the lemon chicken with broccoli was DELICIOUS.
5. My mom is a person to me who has struggles and triumphs, good moments and weak ones, and isn't afraid to laugh or cry. If you would have told me when I was fifteen that I would look at her as a friend down the road, I would have rolled my eyes. But now, I love that we get to both be adults and can relate to each other as women. Sometimes I still find myself just wanting my mom, but more often, I am glad to get to talk to her as a friend.
2. She liked the Philosophy line of body wash etc as much as I do and decided we should both get some. She chose Margarita for a bubble bath in her awesomely gigantic tub and I chose Apple to have something crisp but not overwhelming to wake up to in the shower each day.
3. I can talk to her about stuff that's going on in my life and she is often impressed with how I'm handling it. This makes me feel a lot better because sometimes I am struggling with both the situation and how to go about doing something about it and it's lovely to get that kind of encouragement from someone who knows you that well.
4. P.F. Chang's. We probably should have gotten some martinis to go with our meal, but our teas were pretty good too. The new wonton they have there wasn't all that great, but the lemon chicken with broccoli was DELICIOUS.
5. My mom is a person to me who has struggles and triumphs, good moments and weak ones, and isn't afraid to laugh or cry. If you would have told me when I was fifteen that I would look at her as a friend down the road, I would have rolled my eyes. But now, I love that we get to both be adults and can relate to each other as women. Sometimes I still find myself just wanting my mom, but more often, I am glad to get to talk to her as a friend.
Saturday, January 6, 2007
my niece turns three on monday
I enjoy kids on a case by case basis. I made a crapload of money in high school by baby-sitting, but even then I didn't like every kid I met. Once I baby-sat three kids and I got paid twenty dollars an hour and I still never went back because they were little hellions. My mom used to make fun of me actually because when I would see babies, I never cooed over them the way I guess girls are supposed to. I told her it would probably be different if it was my sister's kids or if I had kids, of course I would be gaga over them.
When my sister told me she was pregnant, I was excited for her because I knew she and her husband wanted to have kids, but I was a little afraid the whole time she was pregnant that I wouldn't like her kid. Newborn babies are awfully boring, really. And babies don't start talking for YEARS. But anyway, my niece was born about 450 miles north of where I was living, so the next weekend, I drove up to meet her.
My sister actually met me at the door with her and put her in my arms before I really even had a chance to set my bag down or say hi to her or her husband. But once I was holding her, all thoughts of anything else completely flew out of my head. I was instantly captivated. And then when she started crying and I tried to give her a pacifier and she was using her little hands to push mine away so she could keep crying, I knew we would be friends. Anyone who is that fiesty at one week old is amazing.
So she's just about three now and as soon as she figures out how much she has me wrapped around her finger, I'm screwed. Actually though, until a few weeks ago, I'm pretty sure she was convinced I exist to be her playmate. It was fairly dramatic when she realized sometimes I'm an adult too. I absolutely love hearing her little voice yelling "Auntie!" over and over again as she runs to jump on me. This is usually followed by her taking my hand and saying "Come, follow me!"
Being with her calms my heart. The past two years especially have been tainted by uncertainty at greater amounts during some times than others, but every time I'm sitting and talking with her or running around outside or letting her play with my hair, all feelings of inadequacy, self-consciousness, and inferiority disappear. I am 100% comfortable with my role in life as Auntie. I can only hope as she continues to grow up and we get to know each other as people that she likes being around me too. That child has captivated my heart and I don't imagine that sense of wonder going away any time soon.
When my sister told me she was pregnant, I was excited for her because I knew she and her husband wanted to have kids, but I was a little afraid the whole time she was pregnant that I wouldn't like her kid. Newborn babies are awfully boring, really. And babies don't start talking for YEARS. But anyway, my niece was born about 450 miles north of where I was living, so the next weekend, I drove up to meet her.
My sister actually met me at the door with her and put her in my arms before I really even had a chance to set my bag down or say hi to her or her husband. But once I was holding her, all thoughts of anything else completely flew out of my head. I was instantly captivated. And then when she started crying and I tried to give her a pacifier and she was using her little hands to push mine away so she could keep crying, I knew we would be friends. Anyone who is that fiesty at one week old is amazing.
So she's just about three now and as soon as she figures out how much she has me wrapped around her finger, I'm screwed. Actually though, until a few weeks ago, I'm pretty sure she was convinced I exist to be her playmate. It was fairly dramatic when she realized sometimes I'm an adult too. I absolutely love hearing her little voice yelling "Auntie!" over and over again as she runs to jump on me. This is usually followed by her taking my hand and saying "Come, follow me!"
Being with her calms my heart. The past two years especially have been tainted by uncertainty at greater amounts during some times than others, but every time I'm sitting and talking with her or running around outside or letting her play with my hair, all feelings of inadequacy, self-consciousness, and inferiority disappear. I am 100% comfortable with my role in life as Auntie. I can only hope as she continues to grow up and we get to know each other as people that she likes being around me too. That child has captivated my heart and I don't imagine that sense of wonder going away any time soon.
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