the one where i talk about what i think about while folding laundry

I have been a stay at home mom for two and a half years and I suck at it. I think I'm doing okay with the mom part--S seems smart and well-adjusted and behaves fairly well (most of the time, but he is two). I am just really bad at the housekeeping part. It's ridiculous. I'm embarrassed to have anyone over because my house is kind of shabby to start with and then it's just cluttered with stuff that hasn't been put away for whatever reason. And my husband follows my lead. So if I keep the living room kept relatively clean, he will as well. But if I have a day that by the time I FINALLY get S to bed and I just can't do anything else besides get in bed myself and I've therefore left some clutter in the living room, he will just add to it. That's probably a whole different blog post in itself. Heh.

So, the laundry. I'm pretty good at getting things washed and dried. But then they just stay in piles in the garage for me to go through and collect outfits as I need them. Ridiculous. I have a bit of a nesting bug and I would like to get all the actual baby stuff taken care of but I don't feel like I can do that until I get back on top of some of the every day things like folding and putting away clothes and keeping the living room moderately decent. I folded almost everything tonight. There are still towels and sheets in the garage, in the dryer. And this is what I was thinking about:

...S has way more clothes than I do.
...K really needs some new tshirts, but I know if I try to hide these and get rid of them, he will freak out.
...I have more pairs of underwear than I thought I did!
...I should get some actual bleach and do a whites load at least every so often.
...How is it possible to have pit stains this rowdy?
...Well, one basket done. I don't even want to know how many more there are.
...Um, that shirt I just folded that belongs to S is too small for him. That's embarassing.
...Why haven't I folded all the clothes in so long?
...I bet most people don't have piles of clothes this big to take care of.
... It's not actually hard to fold clothes.
...Seriously, why have I waited this long to fold all the clothes?
...The thing that sucks about laundry is it is actually never really done.
...Unless you and everyone else strip down before starting the last load and just hang out naked.
...That would be kind of weird.
...How long can I get away with taking my pants off when I'm hot when I get home?
...I'm going to live in a house full of boys in just a few short months.
...Laundry is going to be super smelly in a few years.
...How young is too young to teach S how to fold clothes?
...Done! It only took an hour! 

tmi again, i just can't help myself

Last night I went to the grocery store to just pick up a few things. I had showered, but I was not looking well. My face was extremely pale and the headache that started a few days ago hasn't really gone away not to mention all the issues down south. I haven't had a problem being a girl for awhile, but the last few days, wow.

So I go to the grocery store. I take my eco-conscious bag with me and grab a basket because I don't know the rules. If I'm just getting a few things, can I toss them into my green bag or does that make me look like I'm stealing? So, whatever. I get my feminine hygiene products, an onion, some cheese for a recipe I have in mind, and then I think about what I want to eat for dinner. The onion and the cheese have to wait for the meat to thaw in my fridge, so that's out. And then the cramps are starting to come back and I realize all I want is something salty and something sweet. Chips and salsa is slightly healthier than popcorn with extra extra crazy extra butter, so I grab some tortilla chips and some candy. And I go to the check out.

As I unload my basket, I think it is clear I am a girl with some issues. I was polite but just wanted to go home and get back in bed. So when I went to grab my bag and leave and the young woman behind the counter said "And you have a WONDERFUL night." I kind of paused. And I thought to myself, I really need to get home and that's probably just for the best. I couldn't tell if she was being serious or trying to say I was really rude to her or something. Lucky for her the pain was coming back because otherwise I would have tried to settle that question and I don't think anyone would have been happy about it.

The lesson really is if it involves too much information, I will probably write a blog about it, I should remember to always be stocked up on pads and whatnot so I don't have to run to the store as I actually need something, and when my head hurts so bad it's making me pale, the place for me to be is in bed.

allergies

I recently read that more people die in Southern California annually because of air pollution related causes than car crashes. If you've ever driven on any Southern California freeway, you know what a remarkable statement this is. I never had any problems. I started drinking bottled or filtered water, or at least putting lemon in water after I moved to Riverside because the water tasted funky, but that was really the only environmentally charged change I made.

Now, however, I live in San Antonio. On the daily weather forecasts, they also include mold, pollen, and mountain cedar air counts. I don't know exactly what they mean except that a lot of people in San Antonio have allergies. I personally have allergies like a mofo. No really, I think I saw my doctor right that in my chart today. Day one, I have itchy eyes, the sniffles, and maybe a minor sore throat or headache. Most everything goes away with some Tylenol or something similar. From what I've seen, this is what most people in San Antonio mean when they say they have allergies. That is the set of symptoms they have during a particular season. Not me, my friends.

Day two, my ears are so full of random crap that it feels like I'm in a swimming pool. And everything is very very loud to me even though I know it's all really just normal volume. I have snot just dripping wantonly out of my nose and my throat is on fire. I have a cough that disturbs young children. Any energy I have is simply sucked right out of me when I do something like take a shower or walk from the bed to the kitchen to get some juice. My sinuses are so full that the pressure starts to make me believe that if I can just poke something through my cheeks it will go away. My sneezes sound and feel as if they originated in my toes. My nose is red and raw. And anyone who sees me, including medical professionals, give me looks of sympathy before I even open my mouth to say anything at all.

Last year I waited a few days to go to the doctor and ended up with two shots in my bum, a bag of prescription samples, and a handful of slips to turn in to a pharmacy. So this year when I felt all cruddy two weeks ago, I went to the doctor. It turned out I had a sinus infection and two ear infections. Good thing I only have two ears! I took three doses of antibiotics a day for ten days. I felt better on day seven and finished the pills because YOU ALWAYS FINISH ANTIBIOTICS. Then my throat got sore again. That was on Sunday. Monday, I had an obnoxiously runny nose at work and the beginning of a cough. I took every decongestant and antihistamine I could get my hands on and didn't really get any relief.

A quasi side note to my story is that one benefit of working with nurses is they often have awesome suggestions on tricks for feeling better or at least getting through your day. Last night, a nurse told me to squirt saline solution up each nostril and let it run out. My dear friend Kate, aka Splenda, uses a netti (neti?) pot every day so this wasn't a completely foreign idea, but I have never done anything like that before. Let me tell you, I could actually breathe again! The nurse's suggestion was to do it once an hour and she stocked me up on supplies. Oh, needless syringes, how I love thee...

Last night when I got home I was going to take a very hot shower and go to bed. There was no hot water so I just went to bed. I slept for a few hours and then woke up even snottier and also a little disorientated. My nose was killing me and I realized there was just no way to go into work and not get fired for yelling at someone or something like that. I claimed the futon and propped up pillows and slept a little bit. This morning I called and asked for any appointment today.

It's allergies. They just knock me down. I got a shot in my hip, which is really a shot in your butt so I don't know exactly why they say that. I got a bag that has about 10 days worth of allergy medicine samples and yet another handful of prescription slips to take into a pharmacy probably next pay day. I was also told that if I don't show signs of improvement very soon, I will need to see an allergist.

I already had a handful of pills to take every morning and now I've got two more to add to the mix. And two nose sprays. Most of the pills can probably be eliminated by losing weight and exercising, which I am doing, but the allergy stuff will probably have a home in my medicine cabinet as long as I live in San Antonio. Today I am considering making a list of other places to move to because holy crap I am miserable.

Say you feel really sorry for me and you live in the area. Feel free to express your empathy with orange juice (well, really any kind of juice), the kind of tissue with lotion in it, cough drops, or a few bottles of water. I'm staying home tomorrow and then will play the rest of the week by ear.

I'm going to take a shower now because I heard a rumor that the hot water is back on. I heart steam.

this is disgusting but i feel compelled to share

Well on Friday I was digustingly sick. It was pretty much a 24 hour bug with some small remnants hanging on that I expect to be done with by the end of today.

I was supposed to work another double which is exciting because I need some cash and that is a kickass way to get it. I work in my own unit where I know everyone and the dynamic and it's only four hours earlier than I used to go in every Friday after class. Last week I took a lunch break during the first half of the shift and again in the second half of the shift and the only difficult part was the last hour and a half because everything was so calm. So when I woke up on Friday and my stomach felt all weird I chalked it up to not really getting enough sleep but figuring it'd be fine after a little bit and maybe some breakfast and went to work.

The first thing that I noticed was I was sweating. Who sweats inside after being outside where it was 38 degrees and nothing is going on and it's 6:30 in the morning? I got some iced water and eventually snagged the little fan and aimed it right at my head. And then I made my first trip to the bathroom. After I came back, the charge nurse asked me to go find some more history forms for the patients because we were running low. She had no idea where it was I could find them so I kind of took advantage of that and wandered around a bit honestly trying to find some in various departments but also using several different bathrooms in several different areas of the hospital. I couldn't find any of those forms anywhere anyway (it might just be because we're the only department that uses them, but I don't know) and went back to my computer. Then made another trip to the bathroom.

I was splashing some water on my face and drying it off and realized I looked AWFUL. Pale with sunken eyes because of the ridiculous black circles under my eyes. I was shakey and clammy and STILL SWEATING. So I took a deep breath and walked back to my unit and said "I really need to go home. Right now. I'm sorry." If it had been any other charge nurse, that probably would have been enough. But since I needed to explain myself I succinctly and unapologetically said "I'm shooting out of both ends. I'm shaky, I haven't stopped sweating since I got here, and I'm not going to make it. I may be able to go home and sleep and come back for my normal shift." And then I went home and proceeded to get worse. Hard to imagine, right?

There are some fantastic advantages to working in a hospital. I get free medical advice from the nurses all the time. Free blood pressure checks, great medicine resources I can use at work, and I think one of my last doctor appointments was free because he knows where I work and appreciates my unit so much. There are some disadvantages too though. When I get sick, I get SICK. And then when I'm at home and miserable, I smell like the patients that come in and it makes me feel even worse. It's not that I think I'm better than the patients that come in to the hospital, it's that I don't want to be sick like the patients that come to the hospital. Working there makes me a little paranoid too when I'm sick, wondering at what point it's the flu and what point it's internal bleeding or some other chronic issue.

But after awhile, K brought me some 7up, Vitamin Water, and Kaeopectate. I felt better, at least enough for everything to calm down and let me actually get a little sleep. And when I woke up on Saturday, I felt a gazillion times better. I took it easy yesterday and just ate some soup and crackers with some more 7up. I love Vitamin Water but I have to say my secret weapon when I'm sick with stomach issues is 7up over ice with a bendy straw, saltines, and eventually chicken and stars soup.

I collect stars because I love them. I love astronomy (the looking at stuff part, not the math and physics part) and stars just make me happy. Once I was sick at my parent's house and my mom got me chicken and stars soup because she thought it might make me feel better. I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes when she said that but then later on I made it and sat down with a bowl of chicken and stars soup. I stuck my spoon in the bowl and all these stars were floating around and I smiled and realized my mom was right. It DID make me feel better.

I'm mostly taking it easy today as well. I'm thinking I'll go to church later on because although two Sundays in a row is an accomplishment, three almost makes it a streak.

belly button update

Okay, so no one really cares. But I missed out on sleep last night because of this, so I definitely care.

The gist of it is I had my belly button pierced ages ago and took the jewelery out to let it close up months ago. Last week the hole got a little infected. I attacked it with a vengenace using alcohol, triple antibiotic ointment, and covering it up with bandaids. I'm either allergic to the adhesive in the bandaids or all the activity just irritated my skin and in any case I have a miserable rash. It looks like the eczema I used to get. I looked it up on webmed.com and I've just been cleaning it with gentle soap and using hydrocortisone cream on it to alleviate the itching. It looks AWFUL. It is bright pink and bumpy and disgusting. It's not infected, it seems to be getting better, but it is ITCHY. And also gross. I don't want to scratch it because that will make it worse and I do pretty well with that.

Except for last night while I could have been sleeping. I was constantly waking up because I was scratching and didn't want to be. And then around 5 am I just started crying because I was so itchy and so tired. Imagine my delight at having class and work today.

i have ant bites on my butt

Bugs in Texas suck. They're all bigger than bugs are supposed to be and they all apparently bite. Why would an ant bite you? Obviously you are bigger and a threat to its existance. GO AROUND.

I have ants in my BEDROOM. At first I thought it was because of my neighbors leaving trash outside their door all the time and the fact I get the newspaper delivered. I figured some of those ants crawled into my newspaper bag and then snuck out into my room. But after I vacuumed all those suckers up, later I noticed DIFFERENT ants crawling around. Why in my room, I don't know. I very rarely have food in there and it doesn't really stay in there anyway. Sometimes I have a glass of juice, but the same thing, I take it out. I might have random piles of things everywhere in my apartment but I don't really have garbage lying about. I guess they're looking for water, but they should really hang out in at least the bathroom in that case. Not around and in my bed. I don't ever see them in my bed, but when I wake up with welts on my arms (and now my butt), I figure they've made it up there somehow.

The apartment complex people are coming to spray on Tuesday, so I've got two more nights of vacuuming up little annoying biting bugs before I go to sleep. There's an ant hill right outside one of my windows. I saw a pile of dirt and kicked it just to see what would happen and it was like a horror movie. A million ants swarmed out of it. I was kind of afraid that when I went inside it was going to look like that on my carpet, but luckily it didn't.

Last year around this time, it was a scorpion on my pillow. This year it's ants. I guess the good thing though is that since I live in apartment complex I just call the office and schedule someone to come and spray and that's that. I'm not sure I'm ready to own a house. Pretending I could afford it and whatnot, I still would be a little wary of taking on yardwork and pest control at this point in my life. Right now it seems to be a very fair trade to be annoyed by the mysterious sounds coming from upstairs on occassion to be able to call the office to fix whatever it ailing my home.

too much information

Yesterday I stopped by Starbucks and got a single venti iced cafe con leche. Then I went to my parent's house and we had salmon, aspargus, and risotto for dinner followed by a large and delicious cup of decaf espresso roast.

A few hours later I had to pee like no other and it had a horrific odor.

Moral: Do not drink that much coffee and eat that much asparagus (I had a lot, it was delicious) and expect your urine to be normal.