take a deep breath, it's not what you think

K gave me a ring for Christmas. Not an engagement ring, not a promise ring (for which I am thankful because I'm not really a fan of that whole deal), but a really lovely ring. It's too big and I don't really know exactly what finger to wear it on, but it is a really neat band with silver edging and kind of a mood stone. Not the kind I got out of vending machines when I was a kid with the little card saying what each color means, but a whole band that changes color throughout the day. I like looking at it to see what color it is. Sometimes it's a few colors at a time even. He said when he has more money he'll get me a better ring, but he wanted to get me something pretty for Christmas. I haven't talked about it much to many people because it seems misleading to just say "My boyfriend got me a ring for Christmas!" Saying he got me a piece of jewelery that is circular and fits well on my finger is just awkward.

We're in a good spot, K and me. Lately I've felt like I understand things a lot more. I understand how you love someone and take care of them and your love grows. I finally let go and found a way to open myself up to being taken care of by him and he hasn't let me down even a tiny bit. I see how relationships are strong and fragile at the same time. I feel how fantastic it is to wear a piece of jewelery and proudly explain that my boyfriend got it for me. I see that it is hard but good to do a bunch of little things that don't necessarily get acknowledged that warm his heart or maybe even just make it so his day goes more smoothly without him even knowing why.

I love him. Those are really powerful words but they don't say enough of what I think and feel. That's actually pretty wonderful.