newsletter: month 2

Sweet Asher Baby,

It's been two months and I think we are doing this family of four thing pretty well! You fit right in and the three of us completely adore you. I have to remind myself that although I'm comfortable being a mama to an itty bitty because I've done it once before, you are not the same person that your brother is. Some things will be the same, but a lot won't because you don't have the same personalities. I want both of you to feel free to be yourselves and not worry about what the other guy is doing. Right now that is hard sometimes. Bed time is basically awful. I'm either holding you and telling you that I have to put you down for a few minutes to take care of your brother, or I'm holding him and saying the same thing. I know we are all going to get better at this, but I'm hoping it's much sooner rather than later!

Anyway, you are much more alert now and I'm catching a better and better picture of your personality. For example, you love being held tight and snuggled for long periods of time but hate having a blanket on top of you. You have an amazing smile and share it fairly freely, but save the biggest ones for me and Daddy. You are kind of big for your age (almost 14 pounds this month!) and are strong and alert. You are cooing and making all kinds of other sounds and will "talk" to me. You LOVE baths--your whole little body calms down and after I get you dressed and let you sit in your bouncy chair, you stretch out and just sleep.

This month has been a big adventure of me taking you and your brother out and about by myself. We kind of holed up in the house for the most part to try to keep the flu at bay. I've had a tinge of worry since you were born about you getting sick and I just wanted to keep that away from you as long as possible. And so it begins... Mommy wanting to keep you nice and safe and protected at home! But Daddy works a lot and we need groceries, so out of the house we go. I'm still working out kinks and will probably come up with an excellent routine just in time for things to change again. You don't cry the WHOLE time anymore though, so at least that!

I am crazy about you, Asher. I'm so glad that I get to be yours and you are mine. One of my biggest hopes is that above all else you know that you are loved tremendously. By me, by Daddy, and by God. Looking towards the future and thinking about how to teach you to respect everyone just because they are fellow humans, how to be a productive member of society, and to be a God seeker is super daunting at the moment. When I'm in the midst of laundry and cooking and wrangling you and your brother, sometimes the days go by so slowly I can hardly stand it. But the weeks and months are flying by and I hope so hard that I don't miss anything while I'm in the middle of doing everything.

By the way, your hair is falling out in kind of an unfortunate pattern at the moment. Your hairline is receding greatly and the rest of your hair sticks straight up on its own, especially right after a bath. I am tempted to use the clippers to even it all out, but the hair you have right now is one of the softest things I've ever touched and I don't want to discard it hastily to never be able to touch it again. I'm looking forward to seeing what color your hair ends up being and your eyes, too. I suspect you'll have brown eyes because they are getting awfully dark to stay blue. But I will take it.
Your smiles start in your eyes and then slowly spread across your whole face. I hope that you approach life a little like that. Let new things start small and then let them spread across your whole being as you go along. No need to rush. No need to always meet other people's expectations. No need to take on more than you can handle.

I love you, Asher. Here's to another month of getting to know each other and plenty of snuggles and kisses.

Love,
Mama