the one where i talk about what kind of pregnant lady i am

I have had the good fortune of being around a decent number of pregnant ladies that I actually know. And of course there are tons more of women who are pregnant walking around the grocery store or showing up on tv that I don't know but I see. A lot of the time I see cute clothes, maybe a little waddling, and generally put together women. Every so often there is someone that is just gorgeous and whether it's because or in spite of being pregnant, you just can't help for look for maybe a beat less than it would take to make you a weirdo.

I am not that lady.

I am the pregnant lady who stopped wearing makeup because it melts off when I go outside. Actually, it starts melting off when I walk around the house. I moisturize and skip the rest unless it's something important, like a wedding. And then I am a little nervous the whole time that the makeup is literally dripping down my face but no one wants to say anything.

I am the pregnant lady who has food on her shirt and also has no idea she has food on her shirt. I also am the pregnant lady who once discovering the food, will wipe it off but probably not change the shirt because why bother now and get a whole new shirt dirty?

I am the pregnant lady that is short of breath after eating something (any food, any amount) and having to pick her toddler up and carry him some place (any distance, any amount of time).

I am the pregnant lady who has frizzy hair pulled back into a ponytail because I kind of needed a shower the night before but was so stinking tired I just got in bed instead and hoped a little extra hairspray would help a sister out the next day.

I am the pregnant lady who reads that at 22 weeks I should be feeling good and instead I just sigh and stop reading that passage in my handy pregnancy app because I already feel like a slightly lumbering stuffed couch.

I am the pregnant lady who has to pee and is almost always also hungry every time I stand up.

I am the pregnant lady who is thrilled to be having a second baby and trying not to complain very much to people outside of my husband because I actually am very happy about our family and this little one growing inside me.

I am the pregnant lady who would like to look a little more put together but can't currently fathom the energy to make it happen.