it's been awhile

Every time I see the phrase, "It's been awhile," I always immediately think of that song by Staind and the video starts playing in my mind. Every time. Then I think about the time of my life that the song was super popular and it's a trippy little moment. 2008, maybe? Ugh. What an awkward time in my life. Most of the main players are no longer in the picture and I think it's better that way. Which, in 2008, I would have insisted would NEVER be the case.

Anyway,

It's been awhile. I'm pregnant with baby number two while baby number one is a toddler and I basically think that is an awful idea. I love baby number one to pieces and I am thrilled to be expecting number two and am excited for our family, but toddlers are exhausting by themselves without adding the whole growing another human inside thing. But, I just hit thirteen weeks and it's like a switch got flipped. I have more energy and don't feel so crazy. I'm still a little nauseous but nothing like just a few weeks ago.

I've been doing a lot of work for a not-for-profit and it's making me itch to write again, for an audience, on a regular basis. When I was pregnant with S, I wished there was a book that was real about pregnancy and had some stuff about high-risk pregnancies too and decided I just needed to write one myself. I haven't done it. I'd like to now, so I can write another book about being pregnant again and how weird it is to feel like you should know everything that's going to happen but you kind of don't at the same time. I need to just start writing.

The thing that I've been thinking about though is that there are two stories that can be told from the same exact time period of my life. One is all the crazy stuff that can happen that is considered normal but no one talks about (like that finding maternity pants with pockets is harder than you'd think) and also talking my high-risk pregnancy experience. The second is a completely autobiographical take that includes some very negative things that family members said, having to move in with my parents because I lost my job and we were very newly married and had no savings, and how I yelled at one lab tech and she refused to come back to draw my blood after that. That one is probably the more captivating thing to write but has the potential for some serious fall-out.

So, we'll see!