sometimes i feel like a big whiny baby but i can't always help it

Last weekend my boyfriend and I went and hung out with another couple. I like to do stuff as a couple with other couples because it barely ever happens. My very favorite other couple now lives in El Paso and another couple we had dinner with is very cool but I don't know them very well and feel odd about inviting them over to my place or something at this point. Maybe in another week. And after I finish hardcore cleaning up my apartment.

This particular other couple that we spent time with last weekend presents a unique and awkard situation for me that I don't feel comfortable writing too many details about here. I ended up drinking way too much and then puking even more and that is why I am going to stick to a two drink limit (with three on special occassions, MAYBE) from now on. I always hear about other people getting drunk and being all zany and the life of the party but I just get sick. This was the third time in my life and I really feel like three times is enough to fully learn the lesson.

The thing about the night that has stuck with me the most though through the week was the fact I don't really have any friends in San Antonio besides my boyfriend. K is completely fantastic, but no one can survive with their significant other alone and be healthy. We played video games, drank tequila, and watched part of a kung-fu movie. These are not awful things by any means, but they are not thing I would put on a list of a fun weekend activity. I tried, really hard, to have a good time and be a fun part of the evening but it was difficult. And the thing that was most difficult was that I can't say "Well, that was cool. Next weekend can we go hang out with some of my friends?" I don't have any. Not in San Antonio anyway.

I don't know how to fix it. I feel so unsure of myself these days and there are times when I don't want to talk about those kind of things with my boyfriend. I can talk to my parents because they are fantastic, but sometimes when things are tougher than I would like them to be, I want a good female friend I can go to La Cantera with and walk around while we pretend we are rich and decide what to spend our fake money on. Or go sit at a coffee shop and talk about everything and nothing. Or get cocktails and dessert. Or have a Sex and the City marathon complete with cosmopolitans and pizza rolls.

I don't know how to do this. I met K and started dating him so soon after moving here that I uninentionally skipped over really getting to know the city and meeting a bunch of random people. I don't regret the timeline because K is a really wonderful man and I love him tremendously. I'm just now at a point where I don't know how to spend as much time with him as I would like, still work, go to school and get good grades, and spend time with my family. I feel a little lost and maybe the most difficult piece of that is not even knowing how to find my way again.

I guess that's about it. I haven't had much time to sit and write things for other people to read lately, but I'm working on getting back into the regular posting game. It's time to go put some more hydrocortisone cream on various ant bites. Stupid bugs!